Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

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Latest Activity: Aug 23

Discussion Forum

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

Still lost and broken 2 Replies

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Pamela philipp Jan 5, 2018.

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Comment by Debbie S on June 7, 2012 at 1:18am

Here it is 1:15am and another sleepless night. I lay here and think of all the happy times we shared but the tears keep flowing. I have never had someone I loved so much pass away before. So confused and lost.

 

Comment by Mary M. on June 6, 2012 at 11:09pm

Debbie, I can relate, I have also had trouble sleeping and have to make myself leave the house to do what I have to do.  My family seems to think I should be able to get on with living but somehow I can't.  My friends have been very supportive but I feel guilty calling them or crying on their shoulders whenever they come by.  So far I have been unable to locate a grief support group in my area .. just keep being told they will start again in the fall.  I am here for you if you want to talk.  

Comment by Debbie S on June 6, 2012 at 10:31pm

Karen, I'm sorry for your loss but you comment about Debra's helps me so much. My soulmate passed away just 3 months ago. Like you said my grief has gotten worse. I find myself so lost and missing him more everyday. I still can't sleep at night and don't want to leave my house. I am tired of hearing peoole telling me time heals or I know how you feel. I'm sorry but if you haven't lost the love of your life..... then no you don't know. I've been looking for a greif support that gets together. I feel like my friends get tired of me crying to them. Just so lonely now.

Comment by Kim Phillips on June 6, 2012 at 8:11pm

I just don't know how much one person can take.  I lost my grandmother a year ago, my best friend/soulmate 3 weeks ago and now my aunt has a few months to live.  Cancer is such a monster.  People dump all this money into cancer society and still...... people are dying at high rates of cancer. 

 

Comment by michael sandoval on June 2, 2012 at 11:04am

Dear Maura,

It's been alsmot 3 years for me and it absolutely does not get easier or better.  We just learn to deal with it.  I still cry, I still get flashbacks, I still tear up at anytime when i hear that song, or pass our favorite spot, or think of something special we did.  I miss my Denise, life will never be the same.

Comment by joni on June 1, 2012 at 8:19pm
Hi all.... To Karen w , yes you are right! My husband loved life to the fullest... And for would want me to live fully...and I know I will go through this process with everyone's help here and Gods help .....thank you .....love hugs and prayers ,joni
Comment by Karen Waldrop on May 31, 2012 at 10:14pm

Debra, I believe it was you who said that you experienced the worst grief after the 3rd month. I have found that my grief worsened in the 3rd + months as well. I think that is because that is the time that the people that had surrounded you with outpourings of support go back to their normal routines, you have finished up taking care of the business of death, and all you are left with are your feelings. You are right, the numbness wears off. The reality of your new life sets in and leaves you with overwhelming feelings of lonliness and loss. At times it is very difficult to get past these feelings. It would be very easy to stay in bed, to not face the days. However, each day that I wake up, I think about the gifts that my husband left me, and there are many, but none more precious than my sons. Those things drive me to continue to move forward, to make the most of the life that I have left and encourage my boys to do the same. I owe it to them. I do believe that each day will continue that each day will continue to get better and easier to deal with. My husband will always be a part of my life, the love of my life, but it will get better. 

Comment by Maura Simms on May 31, 2012 at 9:14pm

Hi Anna, its funny to hear someone talk about hockey, let alone know what it is down here in Louisiana.  Don't know how I'm going to sell those snow shoes or skis here!  Yeah, its great to think about the routines we created with our soul mates; Friday night dinners, tail gating on the back of the pickup, (with my own queen stadium chair), Sunday morning breakfast, eggs and hash; its really refreshing to hear your story too!  Good for you, don't forget the good feelings it brought. 

Comment by anna l. on May 31, 2012 at 8:53pm

Jeanne you are so right.  My last meltdown was last night while on the phone with a dear long distance friend.  My call waiting starting beeping and I said to my friend, I will call my sister back later.  If it is good news it will still be good news and if its bad, it wont get worse"  As the last words left my mouth I started to sob.  That is what my husband used to say when our grown children would ask where we where going for our weekend get-away.  We liked to Friday night just throw a few things in a bag and take off to a bigger city near us.  We would go out for dinner, take in a movie or hockey game, and spend the night in any number of nice motels.  It was our time.  No distractions.  Just writing this has started the tears.  I miss him and our time together so much.  I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea I have to live without him. 

Comment by Maura Simms on May 31, 2012 at 8:12pm

Thank you so much Jeanne Potter; I hear you!  I hope we get to a better place together!

 

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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, I understand what you mean.  There will never be anymore of what we did together, IT IS FINISHED."
Thursday
Mandy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Wednesday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Strike those vacations below, they'll never be another one.  Went on a memorial cruise with my daughter and family four months after she passed because she was so looking forward to it.  It hurt enough to know they'll be no more."
Wednesday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yes Elynn, the loneliness.  That's painful.  They're not here and always was.  Our best friend, lover, and most precious thing we had.  We were lucky enough to spend the last 8 1/2 years together, joined at the…"
Wednesday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I've had a rough few weeks.   August 31st would have been our 45th wedding anniversary.   September 27 was year 4 of my husband's passing.   It's pretty lonely around here.  Its difficult to talk…"
Oct 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Every day for me is the same day she passed.  Not a joyful or even an ok moment.  I spend a little time with the children and grands and do my best to hide my emotions, but they all know how I am inside, even the youngest grand at age 4…"
Oct 8
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Oct 8
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, I feel the same as you. My sweet dog Babie J is nearing the Rainbow Bridge. I wanted stay on this earth for her. Once she passes I will do nothing to save my own soul.  "
Oct 8
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't know if we can rethink our emotions that way. Our emotions are what they are, although reason can help us form our emotions and hopefully change them for the better. I don't know if my mom can hear me or not. I certainly…"
Oct 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"How are you all doing?  I had bad last 2 days. Felt lot of guilt and cried. There were some moments which made me remember my mother.  Also I hear comforting words by a lady that people who have gone from this world can still feel your…"
Oct 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I wonder how i am managing.  Not well and to be onest today I wanted to just set a date with death. I am approaching seven years of being without him and though I function towards the outside world better and my crying has lessened but at the…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"What a horrible price to pay for love. "
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for loved ones who have lost someone to suicide

if you have lost someone by suicide post your thoughts here.
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Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
Oct 3
Profile IconBrandi and Jennifer Pollard joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 2
Dayna commented on Kim Darichuk's status
"I am very sorry to hear about your Mom passing. I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago and just my identical twin sister last month to an overdose. My mother and I were not as close as I would have liked. The disease kept her depressed and…"
Oct 2
Kim Darichuk posted a status
"Lost my mom may 1st I'm 34 years old having an extremely hard time we were so so close this was so sudden and I am so lost.. I carry on"
Sep 30

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