Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

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Latest Activity: Aug 23

Discussion Forum

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

Still lost and broken 2 Replies

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Pamela philipp Jan 5, 2018.

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Comment by Jeanne Potter on May 31, 2012 at 8:08pm

Maura, for me it has been 1 year, 5 months and 9 days since I lost Harry. It is sometimes ok and then a wave comes over you. A song on the radio, a place you used to go together and it all comes back. The tears start and then a little peace comes over me. I come back to reality and remember that it is what it is and I just have to go on somehow, but never like it was before. I know he is good where he is, but for all of us it is not so easy. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing he is not suffering anymore and that one day we will meet again.

Comment by Maura Simms on May 31, 2012 at 7:37pm

xo Anna; blessings to you and your family too!

Comment by anna l. on May 31, 2012 at 7:31pm

It will be a year for me July 1st and honestly it is just in the past couple of weeks that I have had some real changes happening in my grief.  It will never be better.  Better was and will always be what I had when my husband was alive and our children were all healthy and happy.  But it is feeling calmer and more manageable and that is better in a sense.  Hugs Maura.

Comment by Maura Simms on May 31, 2012 at 7:26pm

Its been a year, when does it get better? 

Comment by Debra Wick on May 31, 2012 at 7:26pm
Anna, same here. I was worse in the 2nd and 3rd months than in the 1st month. I read it was because the shock and numbness has worn off and now the healing could begin. I couldn't imagine. Now it has been almost 6 months and I am healing, slowly. Hugs-
Comment by anna l. on May 31, 2012 at 7:08pm

Kim, hugs to you.  It has been a really short time since you lost your friend.  I can tell you I was worse the second month and third month after my husband died than I was right after.  It was as if my mind just couldnt handle all the pain and shut down.  I refer to it as being on auto pilot.  I think it was part shock as well.  When I started coming out of that state of shock it was horrid!!  I think you might be experiencing something similiar.  It will get somewhat better as time goes on. 

Comment by Kim Phillips on May 31, 2012 at 12:10pm

I thought as time passed the days would get easier but it is only getting harder.  Each day I find my self crying more and isolating myself more.  Where ever I go it reminds me of her.  Whatever I do reminds me of her. I talk to her and answer myself in my head thinking it is her.  The pain at times is overbearing.  I lost the other half of myself.  I don't know who I am now.  I am so sorry to all those who have lost a loved one.  I understand what everyone is feeling.  Blessings and love. 

Comment by Debra Wick on May 31, 2012 at 10:45am
Yes Mary, we HAVE to believe it will get better! I bagged up Bob's clothes today. It was the most pain I have felt since his passing, absolutely heart-wrenching. My dogs sat and stared at me while I sobbed, like they had done something wrong. It is over now, but I have to admit it caused a setback. Was listening to some sad music, then suddenly "felt" Bob and blasted out Alice Cooper's No More Mr. Nice Guy. What-tha?! Oh well, he would laugh at that. Hang in there! Xox
Comment by Mary M. on May 31, 2012 at 10:23am

Wow.  Seems like all our loved ones were more concerned about those of us left behind than they were about dying.  I know my husband held on longer than he should have because he was worried about me being left alone.   He was the one that always saw the bright spot in every situation.  So while I know he would want me to go on with my life I just can't seem to.   Its only been a few months and hopefully this will get easier.  My aunt and I talked yesterday and she lost her husband in August last year .. and kept telling me it does get easier to move on.  Clinging to that right now.

Comment by Debra Wick on May 30, 2012 at 10:27pm
Karen, your story saddens me so. Mine is similar. I lost my precious Bob, at age 63, to liver cancer on December 22, 2011. He had his first ER visit on August 12 and was diagnosed September 30. Fortunately no one led us to believe he would survive. His biggest fear throughout the whole nightmare was how I was going to survive without him. And here I am, five months alone. I miss him so much and I feel like my life is just going through the motions. Glad you are here, we can get through this together. We just need to keep doing as we know they would want us to. Hugs <3
 

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"evry now agan i still loss my way i do"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her.  Like yesterday, I found a small  3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me. Joe,  So true.  That's exactly why I post here too.  I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone.  That consoles…"
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Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello All, I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all.  Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Once again I want to Thank You for sharing you thoughts with us. You put into words the things I don't know how to express."
Sep 9
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
Sep 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T,   I saw your post late late last night.  I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing.  After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
Sep 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.  Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, We are blessed to have this wonderful group to come to and share our grief."
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Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thinking of you John T.  I understand.  "
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John T. replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"5 years since my wife died suddenly of heart failure right in front of me.  The time since that day has been just awful and when I reached this anniversary, I just couldn't believe it.  All I think about is all the years ahead without…"
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John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the death of my wife.  I spent the day unable to believe it has been 5 years but somewhat surprised at how well I handled the day.  Today I have kept having outbursts of crying and overwhelming memories…"
Sep 7

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