Its been six weeks since my 19-year-old sister Rachael left us. On October 18th, she had an asthma attack and her inhaler didn't work. My dad and her best friend called 911 but the ambulance took their sweet time and screwed around too much to rush her to the hospital and get air into her lungs. She suffered seizures and severe brain damage, went into a coma, and eventually went brain dead because of the continued swelling. Hypoxic Encephalopathy was the final cause of death on her death certificate. We had to take her off life support. It was the hardest, most painful thing I have ever endured.

 the beginning, everyone was so supportive, but now I think they all forgot about it now that the holidays are coming. I feel so alone. Rachael wasn't just my sister, she was my best friend. She died six days before her 20th birthday. I am pregnant with my first child and Rachael was so excited about being an aunt. She had a dream it was a girl and she bought her a crib for me the day before she had her asthma attack. I found out on Rachael's birthday that it was a girl, she was right. Everyone keeps telling me "at least I have the baby" but it is so bittersweet that it is hard to be happy about it when I miss my sister so much.

Views: 214

Replies to This Discussion


I totally understand..I went through this. I have no words to tell -- u are absolutely right,sometimes it is hard to be happy because of the pain.

Once u have the baby you will learn to smile with your pain..
im sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. i lost my baby sister, Breanne December of 2009. she was 15 years old. she was in a one vehicle accident and the car was overcrowded. the driver was fooling around. it will be a year in just a week since we lost her. at first people are so sypathetic and are there for you but after time it seem to go away. i dont feel as though i am getting any better and i still feel like its the end of the world for me. i find this group amazing becuase i am not comfortable speaking with my family. its better to talk to other people. at least thats how i feel.

sweetie, I'm so name too is Rachel, spelled differently...gosh, so young...I'm an asthmatic as well, although mine is controlled....I understand about that whole situation, I wish I knew what to say....I'm so very sorry....thats why I have always been scared having asthma....I hadnt heard of seizures occurring because of that, but wow I feel for you hun, she was obliviously depleted of mom's death recently is the hardest thing I have ever had to do too, I'm just trying to let you know that I understand sweetie....and I can relate about the asthma, and I know how you feel about your sister....the missing is hard....I just cant tell you enough how very sorry that I am....just want you to know I understand, being an asthma sufferer myself....its weird I have the same name too....but, hun, my heart goes out to mother was my best friend too, and, we couldnt have been closer





Latest Activity

Adrianne Edgerly commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Tomorrow (Friday) three years ago my close fiend woke to find her 22 year old son dead. It was just two years and two days after losing her 21 year old daughter. We all grieved with her. I gave up my home so she could stay in it for a few weeks.…"
1 hour ago
Wander replied to Ivis Diaz's discussion Lost in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"I am so, so sorry. :("
4 hours ago
Melissa T updated their profile
5 hours ago
Ivis Diaz replied to Ivis Diaz's discussion Lost in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse I got a call today to let me know the driver was DUI"
5 hours ago
bluebird replied to Wander's discussion I can't do it anymore
"I get that, Suzanne and Wander. When my husband first died, I wrote down all the sweet things about him that I wanted to make sure I didn't forget -- thing he did, physical characteristics, all kinds of stuff. And I wrote some poems about him…"
7 hours ago
Wander replied to Wander's discussion I can't do it anymore
"I write all the time... memories, the story of our life together, letters to him. I've filled most of four journals, and I bought three more yesterday. It does help a little... better than anything else, but that's not saying…"
8 hours ago
JO B alexio commented on JO B alexio's group dreams
" "
11 hours ago
L R commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Kim, I do identify with so much of what you wrote. I find myself staggering through the is a hard journey.   From CS Lewis - A Grief Observed "Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new…"
12 hours ago
Jim Eginoire commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Dawn, I'm so sorry for your loss, and I wish I had words that could comfort you in your grief right now.  I can tell you if you have faith, Christ will carry you through this horrible time, heal your heart and restore your love. Grief is…"
12 hours ago
kim commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"thank you my friends , for careing and being here for me, I just want so bad to be with shawn. this is way to hard  to live without my baby. and I really don't want to live without him.  no one should have this hurt , this unbearable…"
13 hours ago
Danielle McEwe commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Two days ago marked 11 months since my sister was taken from us. It is so hard to believe that it has almost been a year since I have talked to her or heard her laugh. I cannot help but think about where she would have been now had she not…"
14 hours ago
Iris Kuhn replied to Eliza's discussion Physical symptoms of grief
"I have numbness and extreme fatigue where I just want to sleep all the time. My muscles ache but the stabbing gnawing pain into stomach is the worst."
15 hours ago
Iris Kuhn joined Karen's group

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
15 hours ago
Anthony R posted a blog post

The day I met the love of my life

I met Lacy at a cookout at my best friend house on a sunny breezy day. I was standing with the guys having a beer and i looked up and saw the most beautiful women I ever saw she was wearing this sun dress and her hair was lit up by the sun and it was so bright. ALL I could do was stare at her all day. Josh came up to me and asked me if i wanted him to introduce me to her of curse I said yes. He warned me that she was not to high on firefighters but i said i did not care i had to meet her and of…See More
15 hours ago
Katie maggie left a comment for kim
"Sorry Kim--it took me along time to respond. I am at the Microsoft Store learning more about computers. Just wanted to let you know that 11/5/13 was a bad day for me too! That is when my boyfriend had his 1st stroke.Strange--isn't it!"
15 hours ago
Michelle H commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Kim, I'm so sad for your unimaginable pain. I have learned on this journey that family and friends don't comprehend our pain...and they can't and won't. Please lean on us, because we DO know the nightmare you're living.…"
15 hours ago
Anthony R updated their profile
15 hours ago
Anthony R replied to Anthony R's discussion So lost
"Thank you for your thoughts i do take care of the basics i gues what has to be done but I don't do anything above or beyond that. I don't know how to deal with this i use to be the one that helped people when they needed help you called…"
15 hours ago
kim commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"thank you linda, but nothing seems to help anymore. I cant see a light at the end of this very dark hole im in. im so sorry  for your loss to, being our only child I just want to go to. this pain will never go away, the loneliness, emptiness…"
16 hours ago
Linda commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"when I fear i'm forgetting my Desiree's voice I focus on only one expression unique to her and remember when she said it. that helps me to recall her voice, her smile, or maybe even her anger. no matter what it is it is her. I know you…"
16 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Diana Y.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service