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Comment by Elley on July 11, 2013 at 2:47pm

omg Kyra I am so sorry for your loss.I feel like I could have written that post.You see I lost my big sister and only sister suddenly to an accidental overdose in November and feel the same exact way.My world as I knew it will never be the same I feel like im in the ocean but cant come up for air.She was always there for me and she made me laugh im so serious she would always say.If u want to talk feel free to msg me because I totally understand your pain.Just know that there are others going thru the same exact thing.For me I always feel like im the ony one going through this horrible pain just know your not alone.Im so sorry again  Im here if you want to talk.I was looking at the part  when you got the news I did the same exact thing fell to the floor and screamed and cryed  so much that I got a polyp on my vocal cord. 

Comment by anna l. on July 11, 2013 at 12:44pm

Kyra I am so sorry for your loss.  Im glad you found this site.  It has helped me more than I can tell you, to be able to come here where there are others who Understand.  My big brother, the rock of our family, died just over a month ago.  Every loss hits me in a different way.  Losing my brother has again knocked my world off its axis and I struggle every day to cope with a world without him in it.  I can tell you from experience that this raw heart breaking pain does ease over time but you are right, your world is changed forever.  In time you will learn how to navigate your new reality.  Be gentle with yourself. 

Comment by Cynthia StGermain on April 16, 2013 at 8:54am

Siblings that pass away have special meaning to us. They are often close in age to us and their death may bring to mind our own mortality. Life is no longer taken for granted. Someone from our generation has passed away. If the death is unexpected, there may be loose ends in the relationship that have not been dealt with. It is common that a death of a sibling brings upon a search for meaning. We may ask ourselves if we are accomplishing the goals that we have set for ourselves.

Comment by Cynthia StGermain on April 16, 2013 at 1:36am

Mark Edward ST.Germain II was my only sibling and i adored him he was 5 years older and i thought he hung the moon when i was little ,he loved wrestling and we would have fun guess who win the match and bet i get to beat the loser and he one time won so many times my ass was dark purple and he got in trouble with my parents ..he was a good big brother our grandmother passed one years ago and mark was there hugging me when i need then and when life got crazy for me he steped up and made my son feel like he was his son and did special stuff with him so he felt special  my son misses him so much . i never realized how much mark was doing for robie and I have ot say thanks big brother for taking care of my little boy when i was off taking care of my bad habits ..i miss you everyday .ild give anything to have one hour with you again to hear your voice would be wonderful...i love you wish i got to have a big brother long then 35 years...

Comment by Elley on December 12, 2012 at 7:27am

I dont know what Im going to do without my big sister, and only sister.I feel like Im in a nightmare and im not waking up.how do we go on?Its been a little over a month and feels like an eternity.I cant stop thinking about her.If i didnt have my husband and kids I dont know what Id do.Lori I love you so much and Im sorry We werent talking and i didnt get to say goodbye and tell you how much I  love you.Thats why I wasnt talking with you I   couldnt enable you anymore like everyone else and pretend everything was ok I knew it wasnt.Why Why did u have to take all those pills ? You had cheated death 3 times in the last 2 yrs.I love you so much and wish I could of done something to make everything better for you. I cant stop thinking about you I dont know how Im gonna go on knowing Ill never see or hear you again.A piece of my heart has died and inside I know Ill never be the same.Ill never hear you call me boggen  which no one understood lol...Im sitting here christian is sick again yes again ad its raining looks like howI feel outside.Christmas is just a few weeks away and Im just not in the mood This is usually my favorite time of the year and its just not the same.I took out my ornaments u painted for us a couple years ago its almost like you knew this was going to happen.Everywhere I look in my house there are reminders of you.Pictures, things you made for me or gave me......I pray god gives me the strength to get on with my life because right now i just dont know how.Knowing Ill never see you or hear you again. I love you my big sister, youll always be in my heart.

Comment by Mimi Giovanni on February 15, 2012 at 12:08pm

Today I sit at work, trying not to think so much about my sister. But it's very hard. Who known or who thinks something like this could happen. I hear her voice everyday in my head, trying not to forget it and her big loud crazy laugh:) LOL. I don't know how to put into words how close we were. We are the only family we have. I think now what am I going to do now. I blame myself sometimes, thinking if I called her that night she could still be here. we talked everyday. Asking myself why she didn't fight harder to stay with me. She knew were all we had, was eachother, now what. I just want to hold her and tell her I love her more than anything in the world and she is the best sister I could ever have. Hoping she knows how much I adored her from birth. I prayed for a sister for a long time, at first all i had was brothers. Than she finally came. Best day of my life. Sometimes i feel like I am drowning and I think to myself honsetly if I didn't have my kids I would leave this earth and be with her. But I have my kids to think about and have to stay for.This week on sunday 02/19/12 at 8:30pm she will have been gone for 1mth. 1mth since I heard her voice and it just means more and more time will past with out her. I think is still possible, could this be really true. I't can't she will call and tell it was the worst joke she could ever play on me. But nothing happens. I can't put into words how much i miss her, need her or love her. Jackie is my baby, not only is she my sister, she is like my baby. I raised her when our mother left her. So I lost my baby and sister. My stomach is in knots. Jackie I want you to come back. But you haven't, the phone hasn't rung and you are on the other end. Love you always and forever.

Comment by Ada Bowie on April 7, 2011 at 6:23pm

I lost my 14 year old brother last year due to a freak accident. I'm the second youngest of the family, after him. I was 15 when he died. Very close in age, thus we also had a very close relationship. I loved him very, very much and we did everything together. We had martial arts classes together, we went to sleep at the same time (if he didn't want to go yet, I waited), we played with barbies, cars, plush dolls etc... He made me feel like a kid. I was a kid when I was around him. I've been forced to become way mature over a year. I was SO different about 15 months ago. I cannot believe how much I've changed because of this. He was 14 for god's sake. Innocent, young. He didn't deserve to die.

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