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Comment by Brett Bowman on May 28, 2018 at 10:37pm

Avi, I hope you don't mind me saying this. God didn't take your mom. Cancer did. I say this because my mom had five different forms of cancer over the course of 12 years. She had 10 bouts with cancer and spent the last 12 years of her life going through chemo and radiation. It was too much, and I just can't believe that the Lord would put someone through that. I used to go over to the children's hospital when my mom was going through chemo. She would sometimes be there for 8 hours or more. The children's hospital was connected to the women's hospital. I would wonder around. I stopped wondering in that direction. It was just too much to see. And I realized quickly (my opinion) that God would not do that to a child. I think cancer, heart disease and just about every other kind of disease is just one of the pitfalls of life. Sooner or later we will all fall to some kind of breakdown of our bodies. i lost my mom on Christmas Eve. My sister said, "Why would God ruin our Christmas?" I just can't believe that he did. I believe he was there to receive her, but I do not believe that he caused it.

Comment by Avi on May 28, 2018 at 10:01pm

Theresa, I lost my mom to gall bladder cancer on 15 may 2018. She was diagnosed in oct 17 at final stage and since then i was monitoring her treatment.

She was 66 years old and was a very simple lady but not sure why God takes good people early. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 28, 2018 at 8:10pm

I'd just as soon not go back. My neighbors have asked me to come back and visit. I have, and I just try not to even look at the house. That's pretty much impossible. The lady who bought is nice enough I guess but she is very reserved. She's European. I could not place the accent. I guess there was a part of me that hoped it would be someone just like my little mom. No such luck. There are not many people like my mom.

Comment by Theresa on May 28, 2018 at 7:12pm

Brett me too when we sold the house and I met the people that bought it they were very kind they told me I could come anytime but I couldn’t go back and sometimes I think about it some other family in the house that my mother lived in for 60 years house that my mom worked so hard for when you’re young you never think that day will come when you get older you think about it.   Sadly it’s been a most three years I could never go back to the house I just could not walk in there without crying I did video the entire house after we got done doing the odds and ends and cleaning it out and refinishing the hardwood and painting it it was beautiful and I have that on video on my phone which I’m grateful for I used to go there as often as I could and we went there on Sundays like clockwork every Sunday and every Sunday my mother cooked for us my mother cook dinner till the day she passed I had to fight with her no I said you do not need to cook mom please just because I come up here on Sundays does not mean you have to cook she did not want to hear on Thanksgiving she by herself put a 20 pound turkey in the oven 91 years old 5 feet 120 pounds tiny little thing and she did it  Never once complaining never once asking for help

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 28, 2018 at 6:03pm

I miss my mom too much. I can be having a good day and then suddenly remember. There is a cap on how happy that I can be.

We closed on my mother's house Tuesday. I had to go over there yesterday. The new owner had some questions about the house. It was so hard seeing another lady's car in my mom's driveway. Worse yet, her dog wouldn't stop barking at me. He was protecting his space (my mother's house).

I did get one laugh. She asked me how to turn out the lights? I said with the light switch. She said, "No." and pointed at all of the solar tubing.  She said, "How do I turn those off?" I told her, "You can't turn off the sun ma'am."

She did say that she could tell that there had been a lot of love in that house. She said that she could feel it. She doesn't know the half of it.

Comment by Theresa on May 28, 2018 at 12:47pm

Bluebell, that is a good way of putting it a low hum of grief, I miss my mom terribly every day.

Comment by BLUEBELL on May 28, 2018 at 10:04am

Theresa,

The grief most most days is much less intense than in the 1st 3 to 4 months after her death. I have noticed that certain things do trigger intense grief agian, like for instance my Brother in Law passing away or the fear of losing someone I care deeply about if they are going through a serious illness. There are other triggers, but I can not remember them right now. Overall, I still have a low hum of grief every day and still miss my Mom like crazy. I still sometimes go through " if I had just done this or just done that, my Mom would still be alive". But those thoughts come less frequently.

I agree with you that stress breaks our body's down, and it becomes worse after we have turned 50 years old.

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa on May 28, 2018 at 9:34am

Bluebell, that is wonderful, of course stress wreaks havoc on our body, I feel as though after my mom passed from stress my body broke down, I tore my foot in two odd places, my hip was excruciating from bursitis and my knee just found out I have arthritis under my knee cap, I had none of this when mom was here.

Stress is horrible.

Avi that is good that you will spend more time with your father, I'm sorry if you already wrote this, but how old and how did your mom leave this earth.

Bluebell has it already been one year for you, I remember when you first started posting.  Can I ask you do you feel any different after your first year?  I know myself the second was the hardest, I could not see the light until the 3rd started.

For Brett and I it is coming on three years......I just can't believe it.

Comment by Avi on May 28, 2018 at 8:26am

Agree Bluebell. I have started spending more.time with my father now. I work at different location but planning to take my father along with me now.

I am with you on your regret as I also regret that I did not spend much time with my parents when it was needed

Comment by BLUEBELL on May 28, 2018 at 8:17am

I want to share that I have found a wonderful massage therapist who will come to my home. She is a good friend of my sister's so I trust her. I have had one session with her and really like that she not only uses massage to help with sore muscles, she also incorporates breath and imagery similar to those used in Yoga. I feel blessed.

Bluebell 

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