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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Latest Activity: Aug 13, 2023

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Missing my identity 2 Replies

Started by silvia maria. Last reply by silvia maria Aug 5, 2022.

i need my mom

Started by dream moon JO B Aug 13, 2021.

I want my Mommy 1 Reply

Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.

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Comment by Theresa on June 26, 2018 at 5:09am

Avi believe it or not it does help, I eat a mint and it seems to be calming.  Thank you

How are you enjoying your car?

Comment by Avi on June 26, 2018 at 5:08am

Hi Theresa. 

For me, mint works amazingly for stomach issues. Please check if you can use mint in any way like in juice or salads. 

I hope perfect health for you. 

Comment by Theresa on June 26, 2018 at 5:00am

Ok so you guys will be confused by what I tell you, I'm going to be blunt since we know each other, my anxiety is sooo bad its affecting my bowels if you know what I mean that crossed with IBS not good, so heres the hard part I have to watch every everything I eat I cannot eat salads, vegetables, hot sauce, onions, fried food, pizza sauce, you name it believe it or not I survive on crackers, tuna in water, polly o string cheese and a glass of white wine.  I'm telling you I should be 80 pounds, but not.  I have had every test upper and lower endo, abd ultrasound, blood work.  

I live this way.  I'm used to it, but I do remember my mom had a sensitive stomach, nothing fancy for her plain jane.

And I do take 1/2 of a .25mg of xanax to sleep, because I take a stupid dosage, I think it it psychological that it helps.

I do take a probiotic, eat Skyr yogurt.

When I get upset or anxious it throws my whole system off and since mom passed its been awful.

I just had blood work he said its fine, ok right.  lol

I'm scared to take an ssri but I would love to find the right one for me.

My mom used to say her brother would have a bottle of Pepto in his car at all times, I was like great so everyone has stomach issues on moms side.  

:(

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 26, 2018 at 2:21am

An antidepressant shouldn't make you feel numb. If it does, you probably need to find another one. Anti anxiety medicines are a good short term fix, but they only work for the amount of time that they are in your system.  There is a common theme here. Virginia, you said that you shook in the morning. That's a build up of cortisol. And it's interesting to me. This is just my experience. No matter how busy we manage to stay in the light of day. At some point we have to lay down and go to sleep. And it seems like that's when the trauma comes back to haunt us. When we were kids we were afraid of monsters underneath the bed. As grown ups we are afraid of the realities of life. I prefer being scared of the monsters. Real life is a lot scarier to me. My mom would say, "There are no monsters underneath the bed or in your closet." She was right. Real life? We saw our moms die. The security that we had known for our entire lives has been ripped away from us. Of course we are anxious and nervous. Grief has to be dealt with. We can't hide from it. It will find us. There were people in my grief group who had lost their moms years before. They thought they had gotten through it okay but it finally came back to them. Everything truly bad that happens to us is in our memory. The only way to face it is head on. But I know, I have met lots of people who have lost their moms and seemed to get through it just fine. I'm just not one of those people. It hurts more than anything has ever hurt me. I've got deep scars and they need to heal. I hope they do. I have to look down every avenue to find the answer. And if taking medication responsibly helps me, I'm going to take medication. The alternative is not very positive.

Comment by Virginia G on June 26, 2018 at 1:09am

So I had been afraid to watch tv, as it’s something my Mom and I loved to do every night.  The only thing I could think of to watch is baseball, since we didn’t usually watch it.  I wasn’t even sure about that because I have happy memories of my parents and I going to double headers when I was younger.  My Mom would make really good sandwiches and we’d bring a cooler.  You were allowed back then.  My Dad knew a guy at work who got us great seats where the players families sat.  We’d get a program and it had the players pictures and their families so we could tell who they were.  A players kid would pulling on my hair, things like that.  Oh to be back there now, how wonderful that would be...

Anyway, somehow I am able to watch it, but doing anything that’s considered pleasurable seems wrong.  Not that I’m happy doing it, but it makes time go by.

Sorry for rambling

Comment by Virginia G on June 26, 2018 at 12:55am

But does Therea need an antidepressant or an anti anxiety med like Xanax, Ativan, Valium?  Lexapro is one I never took.  I don’t take my anti anxiety meds unless I have to, only because I don’t want anything to add to the numbness of emotions I am having.  I used to shake pretty bad every morning.  That is much less, only shake sometimes now.  I hoped the shaking would kill me.  

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 25, 2018 at 10:16pm
Diet can definitely contribute to depression. Avoid processed foods, soda, caffeine, too much starch. Green leafy vegetables and lean protein are always the way to go. B vitamins, minerals, and fish oil, have been known to combat depression. They are all necessary for cellular function.
Comment by Brett Bowman on June 25, 2018 at 10:06pm
Theresa, I have a feeling that your cortisol levels are very high in the morning. I'm sure of it. It is so hard to lower cortisol with nutritional supplements. You experienced a trauma. There are a lot of supplements that are touted to lower cortisol by use of adaptogens like Ashwaganda and Holy Basil, but adaptogens can actually give you more energy. And that can be counter productive. The best way to lower cortisol is to reduce stress. That is doable for you in the day time because you are doing yoga. Cortisol levels can skyrocket at night because your mind is replaying a lot of bad memories. All those things that we can hide from in the light of day by staying busy can come back to bite us at night. It was really bad for me last year at this time. I would go to bed and wake up after a couple of hours, and I would be so anxious and nervous. That was cortisol. And to be honest, besides eating a good diet, I don't know that you can lower cortisol naturally. At least not to the extent that you need. I believe that your doctor is right about your IBS. I've taken every antidepressant under the sun. Remeron helps me. That's what I am taking now. Remeron has two jobs. It's wonderful for sleep. It is one of the few antidepressants that you take before bed. It has been a huge help for me and it has definitely lowered my cortisol. There is a sad reality for me. I have been able to beat so many things with nutrition, but I have not been able to touch depression. Not real depression. There just aren't many supplements that act as a SSRI, and the ones that do, like St. John's Wart are very hit and miss. Mostly miss. I would suggest taking an antidepressant. It may take a while to find the right one. Don't be scared by your experience with Lexapro. You just have to find the right one for your body chemistry.
Comment by Theresa on June 25, 2018 at 7:01pm

So today and every day when I walk by the picture of my mom that I have on my bureau with the candle I light every night, I say mom I miss you and I cry.

I know it shouldn't be that way, I would give almost anything to wake up feeling refreshed and happy, but I have not for 2 1/2 years.

I can't even drag myself back to practicing Yoga, I love it but I just don't have the energy 

Brett any suggestions, you are a nutritionist.  I feel like a big blob.

Comment by Theresa on June 25, 2018 at 6:58pm

Bluebell, I have friends that take it and love it, not for me, now I am afraid to take something else, my dr. thinks if I can calm my anxiety my IBS will get better.

After my mom passed it was in full force wake up nervous, and that was it the ball started rolling for the day.

When you said what happened to you I freaked out, I get headaches all the time, scared me.

I hope you are feeling better.

 

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