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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 731
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New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by Theresa on August 2, 2019 at 8:10pm
That is so hard to hear especially when you are leaving.
Is this a recent thing?
How old is she again?
It seems as though it’s always something new every day
I am agonizing over watching my boy get old. Before I always had my mom there for support and now I don’t. I feel so anxious all the time. I’m scared to face losing him all alone without her here telling me it will be ok
Comment by Brett Bowman on August 2, 2019 at 1:54pm

Yeah, I am having a problem as well. All of a sudden my dog has started to cry from the time I leave to work until the time I come home. She sounds like a coyote. She bays. My neighbors have been telling me about it. I live in an apartment. This can't go on forever. Life is hard enough right now without having the fear of losing my dog. I wouldn't get rid of her. I would never do that, but if I just go to another apartment the same thing will happen. I don't know what to do. The little dog doesn't realize that, if she really misses me that much, this is the worst possible move. Not only that. I hate the idea of her being so sad. I am going to take her to the vet next week. Maybe  they can help. There is just so much guilt for me. I used to feel so bad when I had to leave my mom to go to work. Mom needed me at home before I became her full time caretaker. Now, I just walk out the door and all I hear is crying. It's heartbreaking. 

Sue, I am with you today.

Comment by Theresa on August 2, 2019 at 8:42am

Thank you Sue. I will remember you also 

Comment by Theresa on August 2, 2019 at 7:17am

Sue  I know exactly how you feel I still cry three years later it just hits me so hard some days I just try to keep going 1 foot in front of the other I’m getting ready to leave for church letting you know I’m thinking about you and everyone on here 

Comment by Theresa on July 18, 2019 at 5:01am

Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to.

As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called home.

Some days are painful, I find that most days I'm not happy, but I pray for God to give me strength.

Comment by Brett Bowman on July 17, 2019 at 11:18pm

Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time on this earth is over, just like my mom. And I know that there is only one way that I can be with my mom again, and that is to live my life to its natural conclusion. That means that one day I'm going to die, too. That's kind of a cold slap in the face. I mean, we have always known that we were going to die one day, but that reality becomes a lot more clear and real when the people that we love most start to disappear. I have to get past the fact that I want what I can't have. I want my mom back, right here next to me. It just doesn't work that way.

Comment by Theresa on July 17, 2019 at 8:29pm
Brett so true she was my security blanket
I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her
You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end.
Comment by Brett Bowman on July 16, 2019 at 11:17pm

M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away.

Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone.

I feel like the hard reality of this, for all of us, is the finality of it all. We realize that our moms are not coming back, and that if we live to be 100, it will be without our moms. That is a very hard reality to deal with.

Comment by Brett Bowman on July 16, 2019 at 11:13pm

Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an arrogant thing to say, but I would wager that the death of their moms was not as traumatic as mine. That doesn't mean that I loved my mom more. It just means that the circumstances of my life dictated a very long, hard grief, plus a ton of anxiety, and probably clinical depression, too. My mom was the center of my world. That's on me. I never moved on, got married, had kids, etc. I had a career and my mom. I made a choice. I should have known that I was setting myself up for a fall because my mom was in all likelihood going to die long before I would. I knew that but it always seemed so far into the future. Time ran out.

Like you, I can't express the magnitude of loss.

Comment by M Adams on July 16, 2019 at 5:40pm

Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.  My husband died on this date three years ago and my mother has been dead ten months, they were very close and they are both in my mind today.

 

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