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Comment by Bruce Bagley on October 22, 2010 at 11:25pm

I lost my mother about 10 months ago, after having cared for her for the previous 3(+) years...There are nights, like tonight, when the grief is so strong, I feel like my whole body could just burst...

Comment by Bailey Eginoire on October 13, 2010 at 11:21am

I lost my mom September 26, 2010. I didn't live at home at the time, and had made a spur of the moment decision to stay with my parents that night because I had been in the neighborhood out with some friends. I came home, went up to the guest bedroom (my mom had been sleeping in my room because she loved my bed) and threw my stuff in there and took a quick shower. My phone was dead so I went into my parents' bedroom and asked my dad if his phone charger was upstairs. He told me no so I went downstairs and checked his charger in the living room. Too big for my phone. So I went into my room where my mom was sleeping to check her charger. I laughed when I walked in because she was face planted into a pillow in front of her. She had fallen asleep in the past in funny positions so this struck me as no different. I checked her charger, too big for my phone, and then decided to lay my mom down. I lifted her up and she had uneaten food under her stomach. When I laid her on her back she didn't respond at all. I checked her pulse, didn't feel anything, and then turned on the lamp and saw that her color was off and she felt cold. I ran upstairs telling my dad I thought that mom was dead and he came down....

I knew my mom was gone the minute I turned on the lamp to look at her. My dad didn't accept it until the paramedics showed him the flat line of her heart that was no longer beating.

I don't like going back to that night. I miss my mom. I miss her laugh, her smile, her personality... did she annoy me? Yes. She is my mom. But her love was so passionate and overwhelming... I hate living this life without her. My dad is broken. My brother is broken. And I feel like getting out of bed in the morning is the hardest thing to accomplish.

Comment by dawn on October 10, 2010 at 12:58am

My mom was killed by her neighnor who was stalking her for 5 yrs. She was shot in her driveway july , 7th. I can't breathe. He killed her after she put a restaining order on him, he used to follow her everywhere. He killed himself too. I don't know how to live without her, plus I found out I was pregnant one week after her death. I cannot find the strength to be happy about anything.

Comment by April Hensley on August 20, 2010 at 11:34am

Shelley, I am so sorry for the loss of both your parents. So close to each other, I can't even imagine how hard that must be. I lost my mom three months ago yesterday. You are right, your body feels weighted by all that grief and it is so hard to put one foot in front of the other, to make your mind focus on one thing, but the pain gets lighter. I know you will get through this. Rely on other family members if you can, lean on your friends, believe me, they don't have any clue how to comfort you unless you tell them what you need. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. April

Comment by shelley hughes on August 20, 2010 at 3:16am

hi my name is shelley I lost my mother on the first of August 2010 three days after we buried my father.Dad got diagnosed with cancer and we nursed him at home until his death. Little did we know a week after we lost him we would loose mum. My mother was my world my being a beautiful lady who I was lucky to be with every day of my life and that is why it hurts so much.I think in life you can be too close to some people and that is the problem i face now the emptiness and sadness my heart aches and my body is so heavy how do you go on. It feels like you are so alone

Comment by Dana LaPaglia on August 19, 2010 at 9:11pm

Hi Julie, I know how you feel and the emotions that you are going through! I miss my Mom everyday and it has been 17 months for my Mom and 16 months for my Dad. Mom was my best friend and always will be! the only thing that gives me comfort is knowing that she is watching over me. I know that your Mom is watching over you as well, just believe. Dana.

Comment by Julie Dolsey-Weiss on August 19, 2010 at 3:39pm

On August 17, 2010 was the one year anniversay of losing my mom. I am still devasted by her death. She was my cheerleader, best friend and always, always there for me and now when something happens my first thought is I should call mom and then it dawns on me yet again she is gone from my eyes forever. Yes I believe in God! I only know what I can see here. I lost my sweet dad in 2005 that broke my heart but losing them both so soon...heartbreaking.

Comment by Dana LaPaglia on August 17, 2010 at 12:39am

Hi April, I guess u are back from visiting your Sister? cant wait to hear how it went. And there is no time frame on missing someone my Mom has been gone for 17 months &10 days! but i miss her Her as much today as the day She died! so u just Grieve its ok there is no time limit. Dana

Comment by April Hensley on August 17, 2010 at 12:16am

Thank you, Tania, it sure is nice hearing that you aren't crazy, that you aren't the only one feeling the way you do. I love my husband, but he has yet to feel the loss of a parent, let alone his mother. I try to talk to him about the stuff I'm feeling, but he really doesn't get where I'm coming from. If I could keep this pain from him, I would, but I know that it's inevitable. On the subject of birthdays, so far my niece and my sister have been the only two to have to deal. My brother's and mine, as well as my nephew, are all in September. I told my sister since it was my 39th birthday I just wasn't going to have one. I'll just stay 38, thank you very much! But then I realized that I am having enough difficulty living in the now. Moving forward is the biggest hurdle for me. I like what SisterShirley said. It is the absolute truth that if I let go of the pain I have to accept her being gone. I'm just not ready to do that yet. Sometimes I feel like I may never be ready...but it's only been three months since she died, so I may just give myself some slack and do this as I need to--one minute, one hour, one day at a time.

Comment by sistershirley on August 2, 2010 at 2:38pm

Hi everyone, I just wanted to say that the pain will pass and turn into something beautiful in time. When my mother passed away suddenly and at a young age, I didn't want to let go of the pain because it meant accepting that she was gone. I didn't want to hear that it would get better in time because I didn't want to live in a world that was "okay" without her. Still, time does transform the pain into a veil of love and acceptance. On important dates, such as her birthday, day that she passed, and mother's day, it helped me to do something to commemorate her - I'd write a note on a balloon to her and send it up. Or go to the beach where I'd think of her - or take a walk alone through the woods and imagine she was walking with me. God bless!

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