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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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I am lost without her! (MOM) 12 Replies

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Song to my mom 3 Replies

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Comment by April Hensley on August 17, 2010 at 12:16am
Thank you, Tania, it sure is nice hearing that you aren't crazy, that you aren't the only one feeling the way you do. I love my husband, but he has yet to feel the loss of a parent, let alone his mother. I try to talk to him about the stuff I'm feeling, but he really doesn't get where I'm coming from. If I could keep this pain from him, I would, but I know that it's inevitable. On the subject of birthdays, so far my niece and my sister have been the only two to have to deal. My brother's and mine, as well as my nephew, are all in September. I told my sister since it was my 39th birthday I just wasn't going to have one. I'll just stay 38, thank you very much! But then I realized that I am having enough difficulty living in the now. Moving forward is the biggest hurdle for me. I like what SisterShirley said. It is the absolute truth that if I let go of the pain I have to accept her being gone. I'm just not ready to do that yet. Sometimes I feel like I may never be ready...but it's only been three months since she died, so I may just give myself some slack and do this as I need to--one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
Comment by sistershirley on August 2, 2010 at 2:38pm
Hi everyone, I just wanted to say that the pain will pass and turn into something beautiful in time. When my mother passed away suddenly and at a young age, I didn't want to let go of the pain because it meant accepting that she was gone. I didn't want to hear that it would get better in time because I didn't want to live in a world that was "okay" without her. Still, time does transform the pain into a veil of love and acceptance. On important dates, such as her birthday, day that she passed, and mother's day, it helped me to do something to commemorate her - I'd write a note on a balloon to her and send it up. Or go to the beach where I'd think of her - or take a walk alone through the woods and imagine she was walking with me. God bless!
Comment by Tania Isaacs on August 2, 2010 at 2:30pm
My Mom;'s birthday is coming up.. Aug. 4. Its going to be a difficult day, but like Crystal said, I have to be strong for my 5 year old son who misses his "Nant" very much. My mother passed awau on Feb 12 2010 and Valentines Day will never be the same for me, its just to close to the most painful day of my life. This does suck!
Comment by Crystal B on July 26, 2010 at 6:46pm
My mom's birthday was July 18th.. just a few weeks after she passed. That was so hard.. makes me not want to celebrate any holidays anymore.. but I can't do that to my baby daughter.. ugh this sucks.
Comment by Tania Isaacs on July 22, 2010 at 5:40pm
Hi April, my mom passed away on Feb.12 2010. People tell me that the pain will begin to ease with time, so far thats not the case. I am still as raw as I was in Feb. Its not helping that moms birthday is coming up on Aug 4. I cry a lot. My soul literally hurts and I am doing the best I can with losing her but it is hell. I understand your pain and am sorry for it. No one should have to hurt like this. I will pray for you. Hang in there, you're not alone.
Comment by Dana LaPaglia on July 21, 2010 at 11:46pm
April if you would like to talk one on one my email is maxi113@live.com maybe we can help each other in some way big or little it does not matter, just that we try. Dana.
Comment by Dana LaPaglia on July 21, 2010 at 11:42pm
Hi April I know when I here my Moms message I still can not believe shes gone either! Her message makes me laugh because my Mom just did not quite understand electronics and how they work so when she talked on the answering machine I think she thought she was actually talking to me and waiting for an answer from me, so silly but I love Her so much and miss Her deeply! Daddy too.
Comment by April Hensley on July 21, 2010 at 11:05pm
Thanks, Dana. I'm so sorry for your loss, I know that people say that all the time, but I seem to have developed a really thin skin and a lot of empathy towards others since my mom passed. So I really do mean it. No one knows what that loss feels like unless they have experienced it, so it makes me angry when people who haven't lost anyone they love, especially their mom, say it to me. I was cleaning up my voicemail box yesterday and there was a message from her from November on there. She sounded so healthy, so alive, that it's hard for me to believe she is gone.
Comment by Dana LaPaglia on July 18, 2010 at 11:12pm
April hi my name is Dana, it has been 16 months since my mom died and 15 since my Dad. I still have those Days everyday I cry and when I go to bed I cry, so no there is nothing wrong with You. We all grieve in our own ways and on our own time! I still have my Moms message on my cell phone and I have no plans on ever deleting it! their room is still the same I have not cleaned it out my Husband has been great he said when ever Im ready who knows when that will be. And You do have someone to talk to You just do not know me but I am here! my Dad died on the 19th and was born on the 19th. I will keep You in my prayers. Dana.
Comment by April Hensley on July 16, 2010 at 11:16pm
It will be two months on the 19th since my mom left. She became ill suddenly in February, two weeks after my grandmother died. I miss both of them so much, every day. The tears come in waves. Some days I don't feel anything, other days I can't stop crying. My brother seems to have moved on, and my sister is doing ok, but I quit my job because I couldn't handle working with the public in a service atmosphere, seeing her everywhere I looked, every customer was my mom. Then there's the muzak cd playing in the background, all very innocuous, except all the songs reminded me of her-they were some of her favorites, some made me think of her, and some were just plain sad. I spent more time in the bathroom crying then I did on the sales floor and my concentration level is zip. I used to read 3 books a week. Now I'm lucky if I finish one in 3 weeks. I miss her so much, there is no one for me to talk to like I could talk to my mom. I still haven't deleted her cell phone number from my phone. I just want to talk to her one last time...
 

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Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
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My husband and I 11/17/14 10 months before I lost him.
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Luna Nightshade replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
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Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I understand where you are coming from.  "I sometimes wonder the percentage of people who react long-term to a spouse/partner's death in the way I do, and the percentage who instead want to live and "move on" with their…"
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Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Some days, I feel I can make it through this. Some days, I can fight the kick in the stomach I feel when I wake up and remember my mother is dead."
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Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Spoke with my doctor. Social worker, than psychiatrist, then, possibly, psychotherapist, being arranged."
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