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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Latest Activity: Aug 4

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Started by Lucinda. Last reply by Joe von Anjou Jul 27.

I am lost without her! (MOM) 12 Replies

Started by DeeDee. Last reply by Joe von Anjou Jul 23.

Song to my mom 3 Replies

Started by Panda. Last reply by Jayne May 14.

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Comment by mercy on June 13, 2011 at 3:18pm
Rachel you are such a sweetheart. Last night I was having a terrible time with my moms passing. I wasn't home when they took her to the hospital; I kept thinking, did mom know that would be the last time she would see the house she's lived in for more than 50 years? I totally lost it. I was so mad at God, I kept thiking I should never love anyone since they will be taken from me prematurely. I lost my 43 year old brother suddenly in June of last year and now my mom. Three of my brothers are now gone and, my dad died in '94 when I was 20 and now my mom. Its so hard Rachel and most days I'm just really struggling to get anything done. Its been two weeks since mom left us and I pray it gets easier. My 18 month old daughter gives me reason to go on since my mom loved her so much. Anyway, I appreciate your concern and I pray that you too will be strong to get through these rough days. God Bless you my dear.
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on June 12, 2011 at 5:36pm
mercy, dont ever think of taking your life....you need to pull out of this, and i will try and help....recently i went to that dark place and had to be hospitalized, i didnt care anymore, but I'm ok now, I want to live, and my mom wants that....you will get there too, your mom wants you happy honey....just keep trying, and ONE DAY AT A TIME :)....you can write me whenever...I'm here....
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on June 12, 2011 at 5:35pm
mercy, my mom worried about me before she died too....I remember the day that, well, I called her at the hospital, to see how she was, and I didnt know what was going on with her....she said "Rachel, I need you to be strong for me, I have cancer"....those words shattered my world, I screamed....I couldnt believe what was happening....she said "stop it"....she knew how hurt I was, she said "I cant protect you"....I will never forget that, ever....and what she went through....she loved me so much, her worry overrode her illness....she needed to know I would be ok........
Comment by mercy on June 11, 2011 at 1:30pm
Lisa, I know what you mean about birthdays. My birthday was Monday, I totally forgot about it until someone reminded me. I didn't celebrate it and I didn't even acknowledge it. I cannot imagine ever enjoying my birthday again knowing the one person who should be here to share this day with is gone forever. Mom was everything to me, the reason why I always had hope for tomorrow.
Comment by mercy on June 11, 2011 at 1:23pm
Thanks Rachel; thats what I always think, I say what would mom want for me? My mom would hate to see me so sad and devastated. I know its part of grieving and the price I pay for loving her so much. I'm the baby in the family of ten and though I'm not yet forty, I've lost three sibblings at their prime and my mom and dad. I will try so hard to do the best to keep pushing through all the pain. So many times I've thought how I could just end it all. When she was ill, I envied everyone; even the homeless wishing I could trade places with them instead of seeing my mom suffer. The one thing that keeps me going is imagining what my mom wants for me and my little 18 month old. I always think how selfish it would be for me to kill myself and leave her without a mom. Anyway; this pain will never go away but I know with time and support from special people like you, it will get easier to live with. God Bless.
Comment by mercy on June 11, 2011 at 1:11pm
Rachel; I think its true that mom is with me. She was so worried about me (being the youngest) before she died . She also knew I was having a hard time with my brothers passing and God knows she fought hard to keep living; just for us. Yesterday morning I was so upset when it hit me again that I can't pick up the phone and talk to her. I was so mad, and sad. At times like this, I think of all the different ways I can end my life and go be with her. Later in the day, I felt a very unusual calm; I know it was her comfort. I also remember not being able to find the remote despite looking for it all over the living room. Later when I sat at the sofa, I saw it sitting right there. I think she had moved it, just to play mind games on me. Anyway, I would love to know if any of you have had any experiences where you felt your mom had visited you? Thanks for reading and being there for me.
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on June 11, 2011 at 10:00am
I have not been to my mom's grave either, she was just buried, long story, but anyways, not sure what tha will be like when I go there....its an hour away, but my dad's is 8 hours away, and I hate that, if I want to go leave flowers or go there, I cant.....but at least with my mom I can, but I dread the day....my sister didnt even help with the funeral, I shouldnt even be talking to her....it was left all up to me because "she didnt get along with mom"....thats crazy....families are SUPPOSED to band together at times like that
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on June 11, 2011 at 9:59am
Caitlin, god bless you today hun, you have us, it must be hard hun
Comment by Robin Williams on June 10, 2011 at 6:56pm
Thank you for your prayers Judith- I need all that I can get.  I'm in my early thirties and also feel like a young child who has lost her moma.  I feel too young for her to be taken but then again I think any age to lose your mom is a young age.  I feel like it's been one thing after another since her passing and now my Dad has a girlfriend and my moma has only been gone 10 months.  I keep having to adapt to these new things which I am TERRIBLE at doing.   I'm not even close to accepting my mother's passing much less a new woman in my dad's life. My moma was really my rock especially at times like this.  I wish I had the magical answer of when this gets easier.  I will be praying for us all.
Comment by Caitlin Doherty on June 10, 2011 at 1:41pm

I lost my mom on June 11, 2010. This weekend is the one year anniversary and the grief is overpowering. The heartache is literal. The pain is palpable. I miss her so much. I remember trying to help lower her fever as she passed away in front of me. I felt like I had failed her even though we knew hospice care wasn't going to take a different direction. I felt her spirit very strongly that day. I've never been particularly religious but there was an instinct that came over me that knew her body was a mere shell and her spirit lived on. I am going to her grave tomorrow to lay flowers and it feels nice to have that feeling like I am going to visit her.

 

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