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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Does it ever end? 5 Replies

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Comment by Leslie on October 9, 2011 at 5:58pm
Elaine, you will have many more moments like that. It was a special moment you had.   I dream about my mom.  the dreams are good, odd and bad.  i wake up crying, upset, out of breath, mad.   i too feel that my heart is gone and actually i have felt that half of me is gone or dragging.
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on October 8, 2011 at 4:36am
awww elaine, im sorry you feel that way...when my mom died i felt the same way....but now my heart is with a man, ive been given a second chance, and my mom would want this.....i hope things get easier for you
Comment by Jun White on October 7, 2011 at 10:11am
Leslie,  there is not a single waking moment I don't think about her.  I created a video for her that I watch every day.  I cry every time I see the sweater she was knitting for me that didn't get to finish.  She had her medical treatment here in the States, when the doctor told her that the only option left is continued chemo, she decided to go back to China where she was born.  I flew back to China to be with her in her final days.  Watching her dying was so horrible, like you said it's so vivid in my head.  Watching her being cremented was even worse.  I felt guilty because she might have lived longer had she stayed here and continued her treatment.
Comment by Leslie on October 6, 2011 at 5:38am
Jun and Cindi, my thoughts are with you.  You both have just lost your mothers; in the "acute" stage of grieving they say.  I still feel the same yet my mom died on May 2, 2010.  It was a brain anerysm, 2 days later we had to make the "decision" then watch her take her last breath. (that was horrible watching & it is so vivid in my head)   Jun-I dont know if there is life after death, but you can find out your own way to talk to her or reach out to her.  Make a collage of pictures of your mom or collect things she would like and put them in a memory box.  You dont have to do anything right now!  It is too soon!    Cindi-Im right there with you, It is 1 1/2 yrs later and Im still grieving and emotional as it happened yesterday. Some members of my family are the same.  When I visit with friends, they noticed something is still wrong with me but its like nothing ever happened. So they just dont say anything.  Its like you have had this life altering moment and it has changed me forever, forever in a negative way.
Comment by Linda McDonnell on October 5, 2011 at 10:14pm
I totally agree, my coworker is in final stages and it's so hard watching.  She's trying to work because of the large medical bills. she's white as a ghost and has an incredibe pain tolerance.  I feel so bad for her, don't know what to do to ease her pain.  I told our boss toight that I wanted to donat some vacation time to help with bills.
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on October 5, 2011 at 11:01am
hey mercy, try not to dwell on this honey....she is in a better place, just as my mom is....
Comment by mercy on October 5, 2011 at 10:29am
My mom, my poor little mom is under the earth, I'm here on earth to try and live life without her. It seems like torture to wake up everyday. I agree with Elaine, its so sad that life just keeps moving right along like nothing happened. The worst part is that my dad passed away years ago so now our family home sits empty and cold. I cannot bear top visit home, thinking about it is more than I can handle. I always pray that I go back to my country in a coffin so I won't have to face the pain.
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on October 5, 2011 at 7:46am
i miss my mom alot, think about her often, and she would be so happy to know that a man has entered my life who i really love and adore and we are just crazy about each other....I believe God brought him to me, I finally have the chance for real happiness....I'm so blessed, I wish mom could be here to see it....frankly I deserve it through all I've been through.....love you mom, be so happy for me
Comment by Linda McDonnell on October 4, 2011 at 9:13pm
Cindy I too lost my mom to congestive heart failure, copd, kidney failure. Although it hurts like hell, i was very fortunate to have had her for 91 years.  The drs. couldn't understand why she was still alive she had so much wrong but it is so hard for me and you're right people don't understand.  sometimes i feel like i'm being sefish because she did live so long.  People also telling me to move on and i was/am so resistent to that.  it has caused strife between myself and my siblings.  but they weren't as close.  hope things get easier for both / all of us
Comment by Jun White on October 4, 2011 at 8:52pm
Isn't that the truth!  People expect you to move on like nothing ever happened. The truth is part of me went with her.
 

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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Avi. I hope that we are all doing great as well. That's a lot to hope for. When I first lost my mom, the idea of doing great seemed impossible, and it still seems like it is an incredibly hard task. I think of what we are experiencing now…"
Saturday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi AllHope you all are doing great. I felt really discomfort yesterday, not sure why. I remembered my mother and talked to her, felt better. Sometimes I feel she is around. "
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"evry now agan i still loss my way i do"
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Sep 11
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.  God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
Sep 11
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan, Thanks so very much for your supportive letter. Sorry i didn't see it before. I replied to it just now, Sending you love and good wishes."
Sep 10
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
Sep 10
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her.  Like yesterday, I found a small  3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
Sep 9
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me. Joe,  So true.  That's exactly why I post here too.  I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone.  That consoles…"
Sep 9
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello All, I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
Sep 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all.  Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
Sep 9
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Once again I want to Thank You for sharing you thoughts with us. You put into words the things I don't know how to express."
Sep 9
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
Sep 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T,   I saw your post late late last night.  I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing.  After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
Sep 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.  Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
Sep 8

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