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Comment by Kevin Velez on November 6, 2011 at 10:00pm

hi Elaine.  Talk about your mom here.  so long as you don't forget your mom, she won't be!

Comment by Sue Waxman on November 2, 2011 at 10:06am

My outlook isn't so great today! My sister's true colors came back. I have to remove them from my life. Really. I was hopeful that I was wrong about them. This fall out is over ...yes...I asked for a small credenza...and turns out someone else has their eye on it! They have been busy little bees! I have made the decision to just walk away. They can keep all of the furniture. It was beyond any of them to be kind to me ONCE in their lives. To much to ask. So....I am a bit depressed today knowing how pathetic my family is.

Comment by Kevin Velez on October 30, 2011 at 10:10pm

Sue, you have a great outlook.  I hope to share that view with you soon.  It's so hard.

Comment by Jun White on October 30, 2011 at 4:09pm

Holidays are coming, This would be the first holiday season without Mom.  How to cope?

Comment by Sue Waxman on October 30, 2011 at 12:54pm

Elaine,

I completely agree with you that cancer is an evil disease. I will share this with you. When mom was in the hospital, very weak from chemo and radiation...she told myself and my two sisters that the night before two babies slept beside her. One tucked under her right arm and one the left. My sisters made fun of her stating it was the medication. HA.HA. But when they left the room I told my mother that they were angels guarding her and she said yes they were. She was as clear minded and sincere as I can tell you. Cancer is evil. Created by the devil himself. It robs us of our lives, our loved ones. Same as Alzheimers, heart attacks and still born babies. Life without our mother's is almost unbearable isn't it. But we have no choice. God does has a plan for each of us. My mother was all I had in this whole world. Now I spend all of my time earning my way to be reunited beside her. God bless and remember there is way more to this thing called "life" than we can possibly imagine. Be open...there is a great deal to learn before we are accepted into heaven. Sue

Comment by mercy on October 29, 2011 at 9:08am

Elaine, I know exactly what you are saying. I have fantasies of going to bed and not waking up to this torture, but then I wonder who will raise my daughter that I love so much? I didn't know I could make it thus far but I have so maybe God has a good plan for me.

Comment by mercy on October 26, 2011 at 4:51pm

I’m so sorry; it’s very hard to live life without mom. Mom was sick for one year and we watched her slowly lose her battle with cancer. It was the most painful thing I had to go through. My two brothers and dad had sudden deaths and my other brother had a long battle with illness too. It’s never easy. I thought I would be prepared for mom’s death since she was so sick but I was so wrong. It’s been five months and I cry almost daily. I long for her so much that sometimes my heart aches.  Mom was our hero, when dad died 17 years ago, she took over everything, she worked tirelessly to continue my dad’s legacy. We miss her and tried so hard to get her the best treatment but God had other plans. It’s still very hard for us to come to terms with mom’s death, I know I’ll never be the same ever again. I’m not forty yet but have had five deaths in my immediate family and numerous death in my extended family, including my baby niece and nephew.

God bless you dear.

Comment by Cindi B on October 26, 2011 at 3:58pm

Hey Kris and Zonna.

Thanks for sharing your stories. It's not easy to lose our mothers. Rather it was a long or sudden illness. We're never truly ready to let them go. At least that's my feeling. Mine has been gone for almost 4 months now and today while making coffee I thought of something funny I wanted to tell her and started to reach for the phone. It breaks my heart every time.

Zonna I know exactly what you mean about underestimating the pain of grief, I use to too. Not now, never again.

Comment by Zonna on October 26, 2011 at 3:47pm

Hello, my name is Zonna and I lost my mother 7 months ago, I took care of her for several years and we lived together, I lost her within two days after getting her out of the hospital and home where she wanted to be. I had just got her to bed and walked out of her room for maybe five minutes went back in to check on her and found her not breathing, her wishes were not to be ventilated or any heroics, I found out after calling 911 they had to do these things, at the emergency room I was talking with the doctor when her heart started to fail for a fourth time, at that time I had to make the decision to respect her wishes and let her go, I got to hold her while she left but it is so painful. My two sisters and I are lost without her, she raised us three by herself, she was and is our hero, I am having a very hard time, I cry out of the blue, I miss her so much, I miss walking into her room and talking to her, does it get better? I will never underestimate the pain of grief again, I truly did not know what it is like until now.

Comment by Kris Baclawski on October 26, 2011 at 8:40am

I thought I'd introduce myself as a new member of this group.  I lost my 88 yr old mom about 4 months ago to a massive stroke following emergency surgery.   From the time she entered the hospital's emergency room to the time she passed away was less than 48 hours.   What has been most difficult for me is "renegotiating" my relationships with my father (parents were estranged) and my older sister who lived with my mom and is my dad's greatest supporter.   I feel smothered by my sister wanting to take care of me.   Mostly I had no idea how much I'm missing Mom, even though the effects of her initial stroke whittled away so much of her ability to communicate.

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