Comment

Comment by Jeff R on March 28, 2013 at 8:48am

a few days after my Mom passed, I had a dream that I was driving my car w/my Aunt in the front seat and my Mom in the back barking directions....maybe her way of telling me "where to go"! it was kind of funny, actually.  I woke up and chuckled. 

Comment by Amanda on March 28, 2013 at 8:30am

I was up for 3 hours thinking about my mom and crying. When I finally fell back to sleep I had a few dreams about her. One dream, she was dying and sitting on her bed crying. The next dream she was sitting in her room, I'm holding my baby(who was just 2 months old when she passed, she's now 9 months old) I'm telling my mom all the cute things she's doing and we are just talking and I break down in tears. The next dream we are someone's wedding reception and she's ill but still talking with everyone and sitting with my dad at a table. I love having dreams about her but sometimes it takes a lot out of me emotionally. Like today.

Comment by Jeff R on March 27, 2013 at 2:34pm

Easter season is a tough one...all about resurrection and such.  A lot of emotions are just churning around right now.  Over the last 10yrs or so, I'd be the one in charge of preparing the holiday dinners at my Mom's house...we were down to me, my Mom, my aunt and whomever Mom's caregiver was at that given time.  Right now, I can't even consider preparing or eating a meal in her house, not until I can get things to a better place.  I'm just going to take my Aunt out for brunch and keep it low key....she's already distraught over things. 

And, it sounds a bit selfish, but we all have to worry about our own physical and mental health.  Amidst the sorrow, it's easy just to get completely run down and depressed.  I noticed that I'm losing weight (good), but mainly because I've been rather "down" and don't really want to prepare food or eat all that much (bad)!  

My best wishes to all of you to take care of yourselves! 

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on March 27, 2013 at 9:56am

hi everyone....im having a  hard time, ive been writing quite a bit lately....I have gone thru some of my mom's stuff today, but actually, it didn't upset me, I think im growing up....its more comforting...I did find a necklace of hers that I gave her and am wearing it and I will never take it off.....its beautiful....I forgot I had it....im so glad I have it....I forgot about it but found it, ive been sick recently, and not feeling well, and I think part of the problem is that I might be inwardly upset about  her.....I don't know, imeating right....im not trying to figure it out, im just tired of it.....im a healthy person.....but people do have things fall upon them.....Michael, im still so sorry for your loss....its been 2 years since mine and its fresh....im just now having problems again.....but its not upsetting me, sometimes I feel like I have no emotion, but that's ok, cause too much emotion is not good either, the advice I can give people who are mourning, try and not wallow in it, cause I got to that stage, you need to be healthy and try and move on without our loved ones.....but it is not easy.....im thinking happy thoughts at this point...........but when you don't physically feel well its harder.....if you want to email me my email is rchschl6@aol.com....i would love to hear from you guys if I cant get on the post

Comment by Jaime Blythe on March 27, 2013 at 9:26am

My heart goes out to everyone here. I started to go thru my moms stuff, at least got the clothes I wanted into boxes, which are still at my parents home. My dad found her wedding gown, the dress she wore to my wedding as well. I plan to have them both preserved so that they can be passed down the family line. We found out the other day that I do not have cancer, thank God. Yet, now on April 24, I go for surgery, I'm having 3-4 procedures at once. The doctor believes that I have endometriosis. Hopefully after surgery I will start feeling better very soon. Everything that's been going on though has just been too much to deal with all at once. Now with Easter coming,I keep flashing back to last Easter, so much has changed that I don't know how much more I can take. I know my mom is great now, and not in pain or suffering, I miss her so much though. When will this pain ever stop? Will it stop?
With the way my husband is working this weekend, and since we are having Easter at my parents house, my dad said yesterday that he wants me and my daughter to stay overnight Saturday so that will make it easier on Sunday. I thought about it, but my dad is one that he doesn't listen, it's his way or else. Yet I just can't bring myself to stay there overnight. The last time I did, the next morning my mom had to be admitted to the hospice center and she only said one thing after that. She died two days later. I just can't do it, I can't stay there. I can't even deal with Easter, nor do I want too. I'm trying to put n a brave front for my daughter but its tearing me up inside. With everything that's been happening lately I don't think I can keep up the brave front much longer. I feel like I'm starting to breakdown, I want my life back, my mom back, everything back to where and the way it was before my mom got sick and died. I need it back! How do I get through this stuff anymore?? I don't know how. I'm sorry for ranting and raving, please forgive me. Hugs and love to all of you.

Comment by Judy on March 27, 2013 at 1:50am

What a tender gesture, Jeff! I think it's great that you included such personal items for her. I feel that those kinds of actions are felt by our departed loved ones in ways we may not understand. Your thoughtfulness was definitely noticed, though. Good move!

Amanda -- I only wish my mother used a cell phone so I could still hear her voice! I think you should hang onto that phone as long as you want to. Nothing weird about that.

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on March 26, 2013 at 9:46pm

I love you, Mom.  Me and my Mom used to sew together all the time.  I went today and bought some fabric at JoAnn like she and I used to do, and the feeling of missing her was almost as raw as if she had just passed away yesterday.  It's like no matter how long she is gone that I can't stop longing for it to be like it was when she was alive.  I'm having such a hard time moving forward into a reality that does not include her in a physical sense.

Comment by Amanda on March 26, 2013 at 7:53pm

Jeff-that is really sweet! I bet your mom thought so too and I bet she was happy you followed through with her request!

Comment by Jeff R on March 26, 2013 at 5:38pm

Thanks Judy; yes, I think you are right, it's never enough time and you are never quite prepared for their departure.  It sucks.  Re: phones and such, I had a run in w/the gas co., as they were giving me a hard time about redirecting the bill to me. It's unreal that we have to go thru this crap.  Re: Cell phone, I still have a message from my Mom on it from the day before she passed (within 24hrs).  Nothing dramatic, just one of those silly little things...she was looking for a calendar...actually then called me at my office about it.  It was one of those, "really, is this that important?" kind of requests.  Well, it turned out to be her last request.  But, I made sure she got it.  I buried her with a small pocket calendar tucked under her hands along w/photos of me, her favorite dog and my dad.  I just had to give her what she asked for, one final time.

Comment by Nancy L on March 26, 2013 at 1:18pm

No Amanda, that is not silly.  I find that to be a very sweet! You needed something to hold onto. 

We boxed up my mom's clothes to take to goodwill.  I did take several things that were hers.  I have a couple nightgowns and pj's.  I love wearing them. 

I have come across things that have good memories and some bad memories. 

My old room still has things in it from when I was a kid...it is hard for me to remove those things.  It is just so difficult.  I keep asking why she couldn't have stayed for a few more years!

 

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 395
• 396
• 397
• 398
• 399
• …
• 542
• Next ›
• Page