I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 731
Latest Activity: Oct 8, 2019

Discussion Forum

New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12, 2019.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11, 2019.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by Brett Bowman on December 10, 2018 at 11:59pm

Avi, I wish you more than 20-25 years. No girl should lose their daddy when she is still so young.

Comment by Avi on December 10, 2018 at 11:40pm

Yes Brett. A bit of rough phase but coping up to do things as mentioned by Selv. To do work to earn and other things. 

One thing which is driving me is my angel (my 4 months daughter). Her name is Kiana and her smile is my driving force to live. I wish I can live at least for 20-25 years, give her a good life and then meet my mother. She will also like me to fulfil my responsibility before meeting her in heaven(in english) or Swarg (in hindi). In India, we call heaven as Swarg (place where good people go). 

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 10, 2018 at 12:14am

Avi, I feel like you are going through a rough time right now. You're not alone. One of the great things about a site like this is that you are a world away but I know who you are and I know that you are missing your mom just as much as I am. You're not alone, buddy. I'm with you. Post here when you need to talk. I can't remember, of all the people who post here, who is going through their first Christmas without their mom. And to be honest, I can't say the first Christmas is the hardest. They are all hard. My first Christmas was the night my mom died. So, the second year was really the first. The advantage of that first year is that the memory of your mom is so much fresher. My memories are still fresh but I am three years removed from hearing her voice, or looking into her eyes. What is most unfortunate about the following years is that, the farther you are away from her death, the more people will assume that you have healed. That can be very hard. Some people that I have met after my mom's death will say, "How long ago was it?" When I say three years, they kind of act like, "Oh, you're fine." I am not fine. I don't know how long grief takes. I know that we will always miss our moms, but I am talking about the duration of intense pain, if not agony. I don't know when that ends. I do know that it varies from person to person. And probably depends on your support system. after my mom died, it would have been a dream come true if I could have snapped my fingers as had a loving wife and children. I also realize that those relationships are not always perfect either. No one gets out of this without scars. I am just a little boy who misses his mom with all of my heart.

Comment by Avi on December 9, 2018 at 11:46pm

Agree Brett. Completely. My mother used to worry about small things and I used to get irritated sometimes. But now I miss it

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 9, 2018 at 11:04pm

My mom worried about every detail of my life. There are some who would say that is intrusive. I felt that she was just being a mom. I miss that so much. I had the flu last year. I was laying in that bed and all I could hear was silence. My mom would have checked on me frequently. If the batter in my car dies in a random parking lot, no one would care. My mom would care greatly. I just don't know how to say goodbye to that.

Comment by Avi on December 9, 2018 at 10:10pm

Good morning Adams. It is 9:40 AM in India and I am at my job and trying to concentrate hard as my Mom always wanted. 

I have almost stopped complaining of anything in life now as I have already lost my most precious gift. Now what ever I have is privilege. 

Comment by M Adams on December 9, 2018 at 1:56pm

Avi, the fact that you were close enough with your mother to share your negative feelings about your job shows real intimacy, which I think is what loving mothers treasure above all else.  So hard accepting that we will not hear that beloved voice giving advice or (in my case at least) unearned compliments.  

Here’s an example of the latter.  After my husband’s death in 2016 my mother often praised me for eating proper meals when I was alone.  At the time I found it kind of droll to be complimented for eating, now I really realize how wonderful it was to have someone care about that.  

Your post reminded me more generally of how sweet motherly advice can be.  One thing my mother often asked, when I was getting ready for a party, was how tall would the guests be...because, if they weren’t VERY tall and time was short, I could skip cleaning the top of the refrigerator.  Thank you for bringing back these memories, they bring tears but also a kind of joy.

Comment by Avi on December 9, 2018 at 6:07am

Even my mother always used to say that live your life fully but I was always complaining on some matters. She used to worry about me the most as I was not stable in my job and used to talk about quitting it often. She always used to say, love your job as it gives you bread and butter. 

I was unfortunate not to be with her in last few mins. 

Comment by Theresa on December 8, 2018 at 2:29pm

Brett, my mom said those exact words.....

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 8, 2018 at 9:46am

Your mom sounds a lot like mine. She also used to say, "I lived my life, now you have to live yours." 


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" suicide yourself there us no place for you in heaven. You will find yourself again and life will go on without your dearly departed. Learn to love yourself find what you like to do there has to something. Think of it like this he…"
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