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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Song to my mom 3 Replies

Started by Panda. Last reply by Jayne May 14.

New here 4 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Jayne May 14.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11, 2019.

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Comment by Brett Bowman on May 3, 2020 at 11:40pm

I just remember, when my mom was sick but not yet dying, we would be sitting in our sun room, talking or watching TV. Our two little dogs would be there wagging their little tails. I started to realize that I would see all three of them die. But then I would say, "not today." That day did come though, three times. I don't have anything left that will die. 

I really miss being loved. And I miss having family. To me, my dogs were family. All I can do is pray that God is aware, and that he will help me through this.

Comment by SelV on April 29, 2020 at 11:34pm

Awww...Brett! Heartfelt condolences to you. Life never gets any better, does it? When you keep 'losing' living beings very close to us one after another...we question the existence of our life, don't we? I do.

I hope you can channel whatever energy you are left with and when you are ready  to whatever causes close to your heart soon...as no one can replace our mothers and/or our pets.

I am not worried about myself...rashes can disappear...just need to buy the right medicated soap...ha! I can gain body mass if I stop grieving...is it possible? 

One day, we will all die. We are actually dying everyday...getting closer and closer. I always content...10 months in my mother's womb-safe, sound and healthy...probably happy too.  How many more years in Mother's Earth womb-unsafe, going crazy with Covid-19 and what nought, soon to be inflicted with age old illness? When will our last breath becomes air? I am waiting...for Mother Earth to deliver me from her womb...happiness and peace!

Avi...take heart for having your daughter.

Comment by Avi on April 29, 2020 at 10:57pm

The news of passing of your dog is sad Brett because last 2 years your dog has been in our discussion and I feel connected to her. 

I can understand that having a motivation to live is very imp. Currently my 1.5 years daughter is my motivation to live. She has started talking a lot and I forget grief when I am with her. When alone, grief again takes over. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on April 29, 2020 at 10:35pm

SelV, some of the things that you described are frightening. I have a very similar feeling about life. My precious little dog died a couple of weeks ago. She was my mom's dog as well, and she was the best thing I had going for me. Her unconditional love through my mom's illness, and especially after, was the greatest blessing that I had received since my mom died. I have dreaded her death ever since my mom's death. I always felt like, "Please dont take her, too. She's all I  have." I love, love, lover her, and I really miss her.

People talk about wanting to live to be 100. I can't imagine. At least, there is nothing left that I love that will die. I just wish, hope, and pray that God will lead me to a happy, secure place. I have wanted that since my mom died.

Comment by SelV on April 29, 2020 at 10:12pm

Hi Avi...and everyone. Just like your mum, it has been two years since my mum left this world. I function better but do not feel better. Working from home, makes it even harder as I am constantly reminded of my mum. Grief, depression and stress have left their marks on the body - internally and externally. Rashes all over my body, lost of body mass(even though I eat well). Have not accepted my mum's death(evident from my daily crying). She was all I had. Now I am totally broken! I just don't want to continue experiencing life. Same old same old...The only good thing is she comes in my dreams...pleasant dreams. I see her alive there. Take care everyone. 

Comment by Avi on April 29, 2020 at 4:50am

Hi All 

How is the grief during this pandemic all over the world. I remember my mom daily as life has come to halt. 

Comment by M Adams on February 17, 2020 at 8:27pm

Re doing things we did together I was thinking more of making piecrust with my mom, or the right way to chop vegetables, or starting plants from cuttings, not anything like vacation travel.  When my husband died several people, including relatives, promoted going on a cruise — it seemed such a bizarre and horrifying idea to me at that time.  Even now, more than three years later, it would be hard for me to contemplate doing something like that.  People are so different in what feels right to them, and when.

Comment by Brett Bowman on February 17, 2020 at 6:02pm

Brenda, I think that people look too hard to find some thing very big. That something that makes you happy could just be a doughnut. When you are taking baby steps it's just a matter of getting from the chair to the couch.

That's what I have done for the best four and a half years. Just make it from here to the couch, but I am growing. I have grown since my mom went away. And, maybe, just maybe, we will all be okay, if we just keep plugging. Life's not so bad. Life gave us our moms. They're gone now, but maybe there are more blessings ahead if we just don't give up.

Comment by Brenda on February 17, 2020 at 5:04pm

Thanks M Adams.  I like that idea, my mom's thing was traveling, she loved it and we always went to Mexico together, I am just scared to go, I am fearful because she won't be with me, I think it will be too sad, but everything is so sad.  Thanks Brett for finding something that makes me happy, that's a hard question for me.  Good things to think about.  Appreciate the kindness and ideas. 

Comment by M Adams on February 17, 2020 at 3:02pm

Re baby steps, one thing that has helped me is doing things that we did together, or learning to do things that she did.  It might sound sad or even heartbreaking, to do those things alone, and if it feels that way it’s not the right thing for you, at least not now, but it has been a good experience for me.  Part of it is honouring the history of your relationship with someone you loved and love, remembering beautiful, ordinary moments shared.  

 

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My Story

When I was twelve my mother was murdered then my beloved sweet grandmother died when I was 18. My maternal grandfather died when I was 22. My maternal grandmother died when I was 33 and my final living parent/grandparent died when I was 35.  I lived with a lot of loss most of it came at a sudden clip.  I'm left with incredible feeling of loneliness even though I've been married for 20+ years and have two wonderful children.  It's tough to share my true feelings with my wife because it's so hard…See More
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