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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 732
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New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12, 2019.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11, 2019.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by Brett Bowman on Sunday

Brenda, I rely on my faith so much, but I realized a long time ago that there won't be a magic moment where an angel comes down and tells me that everything will be okay. I'm not criticizing God. I just realize that this is something that I am going to have to experience and live through. There is going to be pain in life. Losing my mom, one of her dogs, and knowing that the day is coming for this little bundle of fur is sickening intense pain. I still love God. I still pray every day, but I realize that this is something that have to experience. That is one of the hard things about grief. When we lose the person we love the most we hope for help. It didn't come from my family and friends, so I leaned on God. I don't have to tell anyone that it can be frightening and disheartening to pray and not find relief, but we keep praying and hoping. We keep taking baby steps. Not another day is promised to us. It will be over some day, but I am always looking for a light at the end of the tunnel. Always hoping that I will be happy again. It's when we stop hoping and trying that it becomes too late. Keep going. Keep taking baby steps.

Comment by Brett Bowman on Sunday

I'm having a lot of trouble getting Krissy to eat. She has diabetes and she has a very limited diet as it is. She can only eat prescription dog food. I switched to the wet version and she was eating up, and now it's the same as before. My vet is monitoring her weight and when she loses a certain amount he wants to put her down. Eating is everything, and I can't give insulin or her thyroid medicine if she will not eat. I have literally begged her to eat. She won't open her mouth. It's heart breaking.

Comment by Theresa on Saturday

Brett yes as horrible as it is for us both our dogs have aged almost 5 years since our moms died I’m having a really hard time with it I’m thinking that I might need counseling my boy is going to be 13 he still gets around but I know he’s on borrowed time

Comment by Brenda on Saturday

Welcome Kimberly, I am glad you found us!  So many have and continue to be on the same journey as yourself.  Reach out at anytime.  I am fairly new myself and this place has become a light for me. I feel understood, accepted, and heard, which provides me hope everyday, especially my darkest and saddest.  Your picture of your mom, she is beautiful!! Blessings.

Comment by Brenda on Saturday

I completely get it Brett, I do worry that I will go into depression.  I don't enjoy going out anywhere any more.  Really I just go to work, church, cemetery to visit with mom.  I have two girlfriends I occasionally go and take a walk with, text most others who are still around in my life, but most have distanced themselves because they ask me how I am and I truthfully answer, not good most moments, my life has forever changed and I didn't ask for it, so I am sad and mad!  My faith is strong, but I question things.  Trying to sleep is the hardest time, just because for 10 months I woke up for every noise to check on mom, I slept in a bed next to her holding her hand.  Continuously my broken heart breaks into smaller pieces daily.  I am sorry to hear about yours and Theresa's dogs, I can't imagine the worry and sadness you are both feeling for your dogs.  Thank you for expressing and sharing yourself, it helps me!  

Comment by Brett Bowman on Saturday

Brenda, so much of what you said is so familiar with me. I haven't been able to take a nap since my mom died four years ago. Once, while my mom was still alive and on Hospice, I laid down for a second. I fell asleep and I was having a sweet dream about my mom. She was healthy and we were having lunch in our sun room. Suddenly I woke up in a panic. My mom was calling for me. I felt so guilty about falling asleep. Whenever I try to take a nap now I will almost immediately have a bad dream that my mom is calling for me and I can't get to her.

I woke up last night drenched in sweat. I couldn't go back to sleep. I don't know what I was dreaming about, but I can guess.

I don't want to give my heart to anyone either. I have my mom's dog and I love her with all my heart. She is the same age as Theresa's dog. I thought I was going to lose her last week. The vet hospital pulled her through. It can't go on forever though. She has so many health issues. I'm going to lose her one day. I have already lost her sister. Mom had two dogs. Losing her tore my heart out. I won't get another dog. I can't go through this again. My dog is all that I have left of my mom.

I gave up a long time ago on having friends that understand. They were good for about a month, but now they think I should just get over it. I would if I could but I can't. Outside of this site, I just keep this stuff to myself.

There is nothing in the world wrong with getting professional help. Our grief is so strong that it can turn into full blown depression. I have a grief counselor. She is a doctor and prescribes me medicine for sleep. When mom was sick I was sleeping with one eye open because mom frequently needed me at night. Now that she is gone I can't turn that off. I went days without sleeping before I sought help. I am a Nutritionist and I could not fix this problem with diet and supplements.

We're not crazy. We just have broken hearts. 

Comment by Theresa on Saturday

Brenda. I know exactly how you feel.  This is how time changed things for me, as time went the thoughts seem to have become more acceptable but missing her still remains. And I cry.  Probably to much   

Comment by Brenda on Saturday

Theresa, I agree with you, I don't want to rely on a Dr or medication.  I want to face the grief head on, I am jist suffering so much with emotions coming at me in all directions, I am struggling to deal and how to deal, my faith is strong, I am just all over the place emotionally.  People in my life don't understand, they have their mom's to go too, I don't, it's painful on so many levels. Thank you for your words of hope and understanding.

Comment by Theresa on Saturday

Brenda.   I am terribly anxious every day.  I try to have faith in God to get me through whatever I am dealing with.  
I have a dog who is goi g to be 13 in April and all I do is worry about him. My last dog I had my mom to lean on and help me with my feelings.  Now I’m lost anxious and it’s a bad way to live.  People tell me go to the dr get something but I need to face it not mask it.  

Comment by Brenda on Saturday

I am having such a difficult time getting up and getting through the day without being a total puddle on the floor.  I am feeling anxious all the time and missing my mom so much.  I am just so sad all the time.  I feel no joy anymore.  

 

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bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Morgan, Thank you; I sometimes hesitate to speak (type) the truth of how this is for me, as the last thing I want to do is make it worse for anyone else. At the same time, I know that it helped me to find others online whose truth was similar to…"
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Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
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12 hours ago
morgan replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
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bluebird and Martee are now friends
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Martee, I am so sorry you are also in this hell. I really have no hopeful words to offer; for me, any meaningful life ended when my husband died. I didn't survive, my body just hasn't died yet. There is no joy in life anymore, for me. That…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Re doing things we did together I was thinking more of making piecrust with my mom, or the right way to chop vegetables, or starting plants from cuttings, not anything like vacation travel.  When my husband died several people, including…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brenda, I think that people look too hard to find some thing very big. That something that makes you happy could just be a doughnut. When you are taking baby steps it's just a matter of getting from the chair to the couch. That's what I…"
yesterday
Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello mommas  Nice to have your words and well wishes here. We all know this journey all too well. There are days u dread as well, and on those days we all have, we just need to be very gentle with ourselves. That's something I'm…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Re baby steps, one thing that has helped me is doing things that we did together, or learning to do things that she did.  It might sound sad or even heartbreaking, to do those things alone, and if it feels that way it’s not the right…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you said it perfectly and you actually helped me also God bless you and your little dog and everyone of us here it’s always nice to know that we still keep in touch after almost 5 years"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Day by day. Minute by minute. Find something, anything that makes you happy and focus on it. For me it's my dog. When she is gone I will focus on something else. It could be anything. If that doesn't work, do it for your mom. Carry on for…"
yesterday
Luna Nightshade replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"For me it now has been three years ... three years and four months. I survived first by distracting myself from it, thrust into work and no time to think, it would only come back at evenings and nights to haunt me ... I guess what helped me was…"
Monday
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, so sorry for you loss,your posts spoke my feelings exactly on grief and pain of living. Can you please let me know how you survived all these years. Its been just over 2 weeks and each day is an eternity for me I hope I don’t…"
Sunday
Martee posted a status
"I don’t want this..."
Sunday
Martee posted a status
"Today I have been walking as a lifeless, joyless, husk for 2 weeks and 4 days. My beautiful, loving husband is gone...."
Sunday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes it’s almost five and I’m still so very sad "
Sunday
Casey commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"it has been almost 6 years (my mom passed away on Feb 18, 2014) since my mom (56-year-old) passed way, it still feels like yesterday..I can't believe it..anyone here whos still here after all these years?"
Sunday
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Sunday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I am looking for the same light at the end of the tunnel.  I feel the same way about my dog he is a Labrador and its so so difficult to see him limp or have a bad day, he takes meds, I just want him to be comfortable.  I say to…"
Sunday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brenda, I rely on my faith so much, but I realized a long time ago that there won't be a magic moment where an angel comes down and tells me that everything will be okay. I'm not criticizing God. I just realize that this is something that…"
Sunday

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