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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 731
Latest Activity: Sep 9

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New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by M Adams on April 22, 2019 at 11:16am

Thanks for thinking of me Avi — hope you’re doing well and enjoying your little girl.  This is the first Easter without my mother. Losing her has really changed things, it seems that she and I (and my husband) were the ones who cared about celebrating such occasions, the others not so much.  In the end I decided not to travel to my father’s home, since it is not that meaningful to the family there and it is hard on me ... and expensive flying to a different country, of course.  So I stayed home and had a quiet day, remembering Easter through the years with my mother and with my husband — it was good for me to think about them.  I put out my husband’s wooden Easter eggs and some other things that I associate with the day.  My mother gave me two vases which apparently were meant for just one flowering branch, so they are on the table as well.

Comment by Theresa on April 22, 2019 at 4:38am
Hi Avi
Hanging in there days go by months go by and I just can’t believe this year will be four years I miss my mom every day I still cry but I know I have to live my life and keep going how are you doing I hope everything is going well with your new baby
Comment by Brett Bowman on April 21, 2019 at 7:12pm

Hi, Avi. Happy Easter to all. It's status quo for me.

Comment by Avi on April 18, 2019 at 11:46am

Hi All, 

Hows everybody doing? Theressa, Brett, Adams, Virginia?

Comment by Avi on April 5, 2019 at 12:57am

Hi All, 

Posting after long time. The days are passing by and life is back to normal but whenever I sit alone, I miss my mom. I miss the moments I spent with her and regret the moments which I may have spent with her. 

Have a nice day to all. 

Comment by M Adams on April 4, 2019 at 12:20pm

What you’ve said here, Brett, is so powerful.

-Tomorrow is not promised to anyone.

-We have to reinvent ourselves.

-I am with you.

Those three phrases sum up much of what I’ve been trying to take in recently by reading the philosopher Epictetus — acceptance of life’s fragility, the requirement to engage anew with the world, and the responsibility to be kind.  Glad that you are “plugging away” to such good effect, and that you are taking care of your health — thanks for this thoughtful posting.

Comment by Brett Bowman on April 3, 2019 at 3:43pm

Time flies too quickly. My mom's first birthday away from this earth was very hard. It was a very odd day because it didn't even hit me until that night that it was my mom's birthday. I knew. I knew without even realizing that I knew. So many things were weighing on me that day. There comes a point when your conscious mind will insist that you face your problems. I was physically sick that day. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I went to the ER. My blood pressure was 230 over 115. I had never had high blood pressure before. The doctor told me that whatever I was dealing with was attacking my body. Stress will do that. In some ways that day was a positive turning point for me. I said to myself, "This is ridiculous, and it ends today." Well, it didn't end that day, but I put my big boy pants on, and started to face my new reality. I have come a long way since then. I still have quite a way to go. And there is no telling if I will get there. If I do not, it will not be because of lack of effort. It is more the realization that tomorrow is not promised  to anyone. Life is very short. There are two seasons in life. The first, for most of us, is a time of love and security. The second is when what has always been familiar to you goes away. And then we have to reinvent ourselves. Some are better equipped to do this than others. For me it has been quite a struggle. I keep plugging away though.

That is why it is important to say. In a world where people are not attached to what you each are going through, I can promise you that I am. Each one of you that posts here. I understand. It hurts. It's scary, and it's hard. We are all trying to reinvent ourselves. I am with you.

Mom's are a wonderful thing.

Comment by M Adams on April 3, 2019 at 1:26pm

My mother’s birthday, the first one without her, has come and gone.  A sad occasion but also filled with many sweet and bittersweet memories.  I don’t know how other people here have handled these birthdays.  I was with my father and sister — my father didn’t seem to remember that it was the day until a fair way into dinner, but he appeared pleased when he realized it and we raised a glass to my sweet mother.  I had the idea to post a picture from last year’s birthday, maybe with the birthday cake that she really enjoyed, a Hummingbird cake.  However, it seems that all the pictures from her birthday are not on my devices, I guess my father and brother have them but I don’t.  While searching around I found this picture from a bit earlier, from a festive lunch with my dad and me — it seems to have a birthdayish mood, so will paste it here instead.

Comment by Avi on March 14, 2019 at 4:05am

Thanks for kind words Brett. Please let me know if I can call you someday on Skype. If yes, please share me your skype Id. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 14, 2019 at 1:04am

Yes, it is absolutely obvious that you are a loving son. And we all have our own stories. I know why I feel guilty but I do not pretend to know why anyone else here feels guilty, unless they tell us of course. And I want to be honest. I want to look at each person's situation like I look at my own, and I am my harshest critic. Avi, I believe you. If you say t hat there are things that you should have done differently, I believe you. It's not just a matter of not being perfect. Sometimes we do things that are just plain wrong. We know we were wrong, and no well meaning person can convince us that we were not wrong.

I was talking to my best friend recently. His mom is reaching the end of her life and he feels a lot of guilt because he lives in another state, has children, and work, and can't get home as much as he would like to. He feels guilty, and I know that he will feel even more guilty after she dies, but I also know how much his mom loves him, and that she understands, and the way she feels about him will not change one iota. That's kind of the reason why we are all here. We each experienced a level of unconditional love that perhaps only a mother could give.

Avi, I feel like I have a pretty good understanding of what kind of man you are, and if I know, I can guarantee you that your mom knew. You can live with that. The love between you and your mom was known and understood. Nothing can take that away. We all learn from our mistakes. If there is something that you feel badly about, learn from it, grow from it, remember those lessons if you are ever in a similar circumstance. It would be great to be able to go back in time and apply those lessons to our time with our moms. We can't. But remember that your mom couldn't love you more even if you had done everything perfectly. If you could ask my mom what kind of caretaker and son I was, I think she would tell you that I probably did the best I could, but I was a LONG way from perfect. But if you asked my mom if I loved her, the answer would have been a resounding yes. There's not much more that I could ask for. We say that we love someone warts and all. That works both ways. Our moms love us warts and all, too.

 

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