I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by Theresa on June 12, 2019 at 5:14am
Hi everyone.
SelV it will be four years from my mother in December I cry every day I pray and I cry I just have come to the realization that this will be the way it is for me I will miss her forever she was all I had she was my strength
Brett and Avi. I think about you all the time it seems if you have a type of distraction it occupies your mind for a short while but when that distraction is done you start to think again and you go over things again I just started back practicing yoga it helps my mind greatly I hope everyone is having a good summer so far where I live we’ve been lucky it hasn’t been raining as much as it did last year but it still rains I think I’m more than it needs to
I hope everyone is doing OK and thinking about everybody God bless
Comment by SelV on June 12, 2019 at 3:42am
Hello everyone...come 15 June, it will be 15 months since my mother transited. But I have not transited from the grief and trauma of watching my mother die. How to? And never day/night goes by where I do not cry.

Avi and Brett, tears certainly ease my pain a little. but can never make me accept my mother's death no matter what!

Similar to Brett, my mother was more than a mother to me...she was my world...the reason for my existence!!

Good day to all!!!
Comment by Brett Bowman on June 11, 2019 at 10:45pm

Tears can be a great comfort. They can be such a wonderful expression of love. And it may all be in my head, but I feel that God, and even my mom are closest to me when I cry for her. Sometimes a good cry is the best release. 

Comment by Avi on June 11, 2019 at 9:44pm

Hi All, 

I hope you all are doing good and journey of grief is easing out. My life got busy in work, family specially my daughter. Yesterday one incidences made me remember my mother and I felt like crying but was required to control my emotions. Then I cried when I was alone and felt better. Never realized that tears can help. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 14, 2019 at 10:50pm

Avi, I felt something very similar. After a year the pain and shock of mom's death had eased somewhat, but the guilt increased. I learned that grief is a process that has many different facets.

I am really amazed by the folks who seem to transition a lot more easily than I did. I really believe that so much of that has to do with their support system. I would imagine that having a loving wife and children would help. My mom was the center of my world. 

Comment by M Adams on May 14, 2019 at 8:19pm

Avi, these anniversaries are so hard and confusing.  My husband’s birthday was this Saturday, and Mother’s Day, the first since my dear mother died, was on the next day, Sunday.  A hard weekend to get through.  I want to honour these days with some gesture or ritual.  I planted the seeds from my mother’s memorial earlier in May and by Mother’s Day some have germinated. That was good to see, but I miss her so much and somehow keep imagining that i will hear from her, that she will call.  I suppose that feeling will gradually change and soften as months and years pass.  

Comment by Avi on May 14, 2019 at 1:36pm

Hi All, 

It is now 15 May in India, my mother's first death anniversary. The pain has decreased, life has moved on but the guilt has grown. 

I wish her rest in peace and all comfort in heaven. 

Comment by Sue Toler on May 14, 2019 at 10:12am

Betty, I am so sorry for your loss, but please don't blame yourself.  I lost my Mom two months ago.  The ads & treatments don't work for everyone.  My Mom had adverse reactions to medications.  You loved your Mom & you did what you felt like was best.  It is obvious that you loved your Mom, please don't feel guilty.  

Comment by Avi on May 14, 2019 at 9:33am

Hi Betty, 

I wish for your comfort as guilt is a tough emotion. I am sailing in the same ship as you. 

This is Avi from India. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 13, 2019 at 1:49pm

Betsy, this is a tough post to answer or respond to, because I know that you have already put yourself on trial and found yourself guilty. You are not going to be consoled now. You want people to tell you that it wasn't your fault, but you will argue with anyone who does. I'm in tremendous pain myself and I do not have the energy to fight with you.

I will tell you that there is nothing in the world sadistic about a DNR. More times than not it is merciful. When a person is that sick, what they need is more important than what we need. I needed for my mom to live. Her body would not allow that. Mom had a DNR. I miss her every day. It's horrible. I sure know that I didn't kill her though. If I hadn't given her water and food, or if I had laughed when she called out to me, that would have been killing her. Did you do that? I sincerely doubt it. 


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