Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Started by silvia maria. Last reply by silvia maria Aug 5, 2022.
Started by dream moon JO B Aug 13, 2021.
Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.
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Yes, Therapy and medication can help a lot. medication can help with crying. it helped me a lot. therapy also is a big help. I am still in therapy. I started when my wife passed away three years ago, and now, I am talking about Mom passing away. The three years of therapy really did help with Mom's passing. not much, but i did learn things in the last three years.
God Bless Everyone
There is a huge difference between grieving and depression, but the two often go hand in hand. Depression can oft times be worked through without medical intervention BUT when you begin to feel as if you would rather die then continue living, or you stop doing the things you need to do to stay alive and healthy-eating, not over eating, smoking, not taking medication, etc., and you can't or won't do things you normally did-bath, clean, take care of kids, others, etc. THEN it is time to seek medical help. There is absolutely NO SHAME in asking your doctor for help and being on medication.
Simin - I know how you feel, but please hang on. It does slowly get better from here. Your mom would not want you to be doing anything that would be harmful for your health.
Michael and Jennifer and Simin - all of our routines are disrupted. Until we find a new routine, it is hard to know what to do and to stay on a schedule. I found it helped to write down my schedule - what I ate for breakfast, etc. It worked for a while but then my husband was sick again over the summer and I got so busy I didn't have time to do it and everything went to heck again. But, it did help when I was doing it. Maybe it would help for you too.
I'm finding the opposite, i can hardly eat. All i want to do is drink tea and smoke but coz of my own health problems i shouldn't be smoking at all. It's as if doing something to harm myself makes me feel better somehow. Everything seems so bleak at the moment and i just wish i could die and be with mum. It hurts my family to hear me say this but i can't help feeling this way. past week has been much worse than the weeks before it
Deat Stoyas,
My condolences. thank you for the kind words. it really means a lot. I miss my mom so much.
James - good thought to share. Let us pray for everyone on the eastern seaboard. By the time this storm is over, there may be loss of life and people grieving as hard as we are grieving right now. Let us pray for the safety of every one.
Mary, the roller coaster does continue, but it gets a little easier with the passage of time. Just today I went to a candle store that me and my mom used to always go to together. I have been there maybe twice since she died. The last weeks of her life, we went there together. They also sell kitchen wares, and she bought be a cake plate like hers where you can flip the top and put it on a base and use it for a punch bowl too. She knew I had always liked hers, and she bought me one. I cherish that cake plate like nothing you can imagine. It is always on my dining room table, and I make it very clear to anyone who does not treat it gingery that they need to straighten up. I was walking through that candle store today and I thought, "How can this still be here when she is gone. How can life go on like it always has when she is not here any more." You know, life doesn't mean as much without the people we love in it. My family background is the Appalachian Mountains. We were very poor and growing up things we take for granted now were just out of our reach - shopping for something other than groceries, going to a movie, eating out. After us kids grew up and got jobs, our financial lives improved. My brothers took her out from time to time, but me and my mom went out all the time. And, I almost felt guilty sometimes that we had it so good (and good for us doesn't mean a five star restaurant but maybe Arbys), because we'd never had it so good before. Now that my mom is gone (and my dad) none of that means jack to me any more. I'm grateful there is a fast food restaurant if I'm running too much that day and must stop cuz my blood sugar went too low, but to stop and enjoy it - what's the point. You know, I kinda understand the Buddhists a little bit better. This world and it's riches aren't what matter. I still have access to most of those riches, but they aren't rich if I'm not sharing them with her (or my dad), but especially my mom as I always shared them with her. I used to dress funky all the time. I never went out without make-up on, and I loved dressing funky. Now, I run around in sweats and a bun. I used to love to draw and make jewelry. Not any more. The only thing I still enjoy is knitting, and I do that in front of the tv. I do not go to my knitting groups and spend time with friends any more. It just sometimes is hard for me to grasp that this world goes on so similar to what it was before, but she is not here to share it with me. I sometimes wish I could do it all over again, because I would have shared those things with her twice as much and spent twice as much time with her.
Ann - I am so sorry that you are feeling so badly that you think about killing yourself. I think that is common for people in deep grief - I've thought it myself. Please promise me you will go talk to a counselor or get a grief support group where you can physically touch base with someone. I know your Mom would not want that for you. Are you a Mom? If so, think how you would feel if your child killed themselves. You don't want to put her through that either. I believe they still see what we are going through from the other side. Go to the After Death Experiences group on this site if what I'm about to say is not understandable - but I get phone calls from my dad since he passed on. Often they have been to answer my requests that he let me know he is alright. A few weeks ago, my dad's dog who was really sick was dying, and she was suffering. My phone started ringing every night instead of intermittently until I took her to the vet. The vet confirmed there was nothing that could be done for her and that she was suffering, so I euthanized her. The phone calls became intermittent again. I think they can still see us and care intimately about our suffering. My dad knew his dog was suffering, and I could help her. He kept calling until I did. I do not think they would want us to harm ourselves. I think they would know if we did, and I think it would be as devastating to them as how we feel now. Please promise me you will see a counselor. If you can't afford one, most cities have places where you can go for free or sliding fee scale counseling. Blessings to you. I will say a prayer for you tonight.
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