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Comment by Dia -Ayesha on October 19, 2013 at 5:36am

Thank you so much Martha for your kindness and encouraging word. May you be blessed for spreading kindness. Thank you.

Comment by Martha on October 17, 2013 at 4:39pm

Well Dia, the fact that you are crying is healing and your posting about your pain, as well. It is understandable. And, in due time you will realize that your mother's memory is not just her passing. Her life with you will eventually resurface in your being, and the love which is an unbreakable bond will be predominant. 

Comment by David on October 16, 2013 at 10:47am

It seems to me that the main point of this holiday is to celebrate more the soul and less the body as explained below. Maybe trying to look at things from the inside out might help to make your grieving a little less painful.

"The celebration of Diwali as the 'victory of good over evil', refers to the light of higher knowledge dispelling all ignorance, the ignorance that masks one's true nature, not as the body, but as the unchanging, infinite, immanent and transcendent reality. With this awakening comes compassion and the awareness of the oneness of all things (higher knowledge). This brings ananda (joy or peace). Just as we celebrate the birth of our physical being, Diwali is the celebration of this Inner Light." (Wikipedia)

Comment by Dia -Ayesha on October 16, 2013 at 10:17am

I can't stop crying. Anytime and everytime be it when I am alone or in the midst of people anything triggers it off. When people mention my mother, talk about her, when I think of her which is every second of everyday , when anybody shows me kindness I cry on all the above occasions. Soon it will be the festival of Diwali ( the Indian festival of lights) the most significant festival for us Indians . My mum loved Diwali . Even when she was sick her joy during this festival was present. This first Diwali without her makes me want to run away. It literally means festival of lights but after losing mum my world is plunged in darkness. Sometimes the pain is so unbearable I struggle to breathe. I have a great , loving family yet I feel so lonely. Loneliness is a killer . Help.

Comment by Martha on October 15, 2013 at 2:30pm

Dear Dia:

Do not blame God, we all chose our life path, the more difficult the life, the more advanced the soul is. Try to read the book "Journey of Souls" by Michael Newton, it did me good. Your mother is a much better place than this, she is with all our mothers that have passed over and with their families that have passed, as well. You will see in due time that the suffering turns into a deeper understanding of the spiritual, and you will feel the Peace of God all around you. Your mother lives on, the soul is immortal. It took me over a year to have the energy to look for this site even though a good friend told me to do so for months. Look at you, you are here, doing all the right things. Have faith in yourself. I have.

Comment by Martha on October 14, 2013 at 5:05pm

Wow, Dave. Great post on the afterlife. Reading "Journey of Souls" by Michael Newton helped during this process. I, as you know our mothers are in a wonderful place in the spiritual realm. We are the ones left here missing them forever, but in time we can turn all this, and help others that are grieving. To honor my mother's memory is my new mission in life. I want to make her proud til we are together again.

Comment by David on October 14, 2013 at 11:36am

Dolly, since your page is set to private, I wasn't able to respond to your message so my abridged response is below:

What I learned comes from a rabbinical Jewish understanding so some of the concepts might not be applicable to your beliefs if they differ. As many of us probably believe already, the souls have no physical form so disabilities and other outward issues are irrelevant at this point. The apparent coincidences that you've noticed are exactly what you think they are. Being contacted from the other side isn't unusual and I've had a number of similar experiences. I've heard a song in my head and then it suddenly came on the radio. Probably the most peculiar event where mom decided to make her presence known was when I was at the Ministry of the Interior in Haifa last week and she appeared under a photo of Binyamin Netanyahu. She always thought he was handsome so her appearing there was obviously a manifestation of her great sense of humor. In a nutshell, after she died she appeared before a court where her entire life played like a DVD in front of everyone but with the audio off and her "thought track" on. So the judges could hear what she was thinking at the time and not what she actually said. Since we don't believe in the common idea of hell, after spending no more than one year waiting to get into one of His unlimited academies, she received her assignment and is studying now. She was sent to one of the limitless academies to study Torah on a level that we here can't imagine. As are all those who have passed on. Imagine being in school forever 24 hours a day six days a week. Literally. It's a not a bad thing of course. I was surprised to learn that they follow the same sense of time that we do here with a six-day study week and Shabbat/Saturday off. I haven't gotten that far in the series to know what they do with their "free time" as it were. When and if the time comes and it's determined that she's needed to complete another "mission," 40 days before conception, part of her soul (we actually have souls with three distinct parts) will be sent back here to fulfill an as yet unknown series of tasks. It was hard for me to come to terms with the fact that she could come back as any red-blooded creature since the soul is in the blood, not specifically human blood. So the next time you see what appears to be a brilliant dog, a clever cat or whatever, there's far more to that creature than meets the eye. That's why being kind to our non-human friends is actually more important to some degree than our human friends as stated in the Book of Mishlei. We can defend ourselves and they can't and they must be fed first before we feed ourselves. It gets quite complicated at this point but this is at least a brief idea of the rabbinical understanding of the afterlife.

Comment by David on October 14, 2013 at 10:06am

Surprisingly, I found great comfort in my religion after listening to a series of audioclasses (http://www.chabad.org/multimedia/media_cdo/aid/527957/jewish/Afterl...) about the afterlife. I'm not preaching here whatsoever but maybe you can consider finding something similar in your own belief system that could help you through your grief before giving up faith in whatever deity you believe in. After all, knowing how and what mom is doing today and how her journey has been thus far has helped me to focus more on that and less on the terrible circumstances that led to her death in May 2012.

Comment by Dia -Ayesha on October 14, 2013 at 9:50am

I feel so lost. Lonely, tired and defeated. My mum was the most kindest, most wonderful person. I'm in shock and disbelief. I grapple betweeen two extremes : intense , raw sorrow and pain and shock and disbelief. I don't know what to make of her pain, suffering and hardships . My faith in God is gone. If he could not spare her pain, suffering, diseases and hardships even though she was such a wonderful, pure person why should I hold onto my faith? I feel so lost .

Comment by Lisa S on October 12, 2013 at 6:33pm

I was just reading the story of the tragic death of Lulu and Leo Krim, killed by their Nanny in Oct. 2012. I wanted to share a few very profound words spoken by the Reverend and close family friend at the memorial. "Nothing will erase the pain, and nothing should. The depth of your pain is a measure of the depth of your love."

I just thought that was so beautifully articulated and wanted to share those words with all of you. God bless the Krim Family and all of you as well.

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