Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Started by silvia maria. Last reply by silvia maria Aug 5, 2022.
Started by dream moon JO B Aug 13, 2021.
Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.
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And more to your point Tonya, I've been surprised with family at times... even before my mom's passing. You think people would all step up to the plate (cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, etc.) before and after death. Some people do what they can to help while others just try to make it harder for you. Be strong.
I'm sorry to hear about this happening in your family, Tonya. My mom passed away at the end of June from cancer and have a lot of changes to adapt to (housing, work may change, etc.). She would have just turned 64 a week ago. I was her caregiver toward the end and now care for my autistic brother since she is gone. My stepfather is also living with me, too. We have our moments and it can certainly be stressful. I've known him for most of my life so there's an interesting dynamic there.
The sadness is also that we don't have our beloved mothers available at the ready to discuss the madness and dispense advice. It's certainly tough. My mom made predictions of what might happen before she passed. She was very intuitive... almost psychic it seems. Hopefully I can ward off some of her predictions!
I wish you peace and some serenity, although I know it's been such a challenge.
John Barry, thank you for mentioning GriefShare--certainly worth looking into. I hope that you're able to find peace with everything, too. I know it's beyond difficult being the caregiver and survivor.
I'm sorry for everyone's loss that I've read about so far in this thread. May we all find some comfort, even if fleeting, thinking of the beautiful times we've had. The great memories we made when we didn't even know we were making memories. "The good ole days." Certainly hope for good days to come, even if we can't see them now. Certainly no day can be as good as when our loved ones were around, but I like to think that they're helping to guide us through everything. Some days more than others, but always around nonetheless.
Tonya, I've had that happened within my own family. Some people can just be very cold when it comes to anyone else's grief. I know how you feel.
Last week I had a very unfortunate argument with my stepmother, who I've only known for less than two years, about my grief. In the last ten months, I've lost my mother, separated from my spouse, sold my house, moved, and started a new relationship. My stepmother had the nerve to say that "everyone loses a loved one and people's marriages break up every day, but I shouldn't feel sorry for myself, and stop stirring my pity pot". Some people can be truly heartless and not understand the grief process. It's very heartbreaking.
Ron B., It sounds like you're in a pretty tough time in your life. I can relate, not exactly, because everyone's grief is different, but I sympathize.
It can feel like you're totally alone in the world. I too have no other family than my father who has had mental disabilities all of his life and therefore hasn't been a "support" for me in the way that most people think of. It can be so tough with out a solid support structure. Thankfully, I have a couple of friends that are like family and I'm grateful for them everyday.
For me, what has worked is simply never giving up. Every day I wake up and tell myself that life is worth living for. There.is.no.alternative. Period. I want that for you too and for Everyone on this forum and everyone out in the world who go through tremendous, traumatic grief. We Must soldier on because, well, life Is worth living for :)
I second Charity and John's suggestion that you seek out a support group, pastor or therapist. I hope you do because you seem like a very nice person and wish for you to get well soon! Sending strength and positive thoughts.
My heart hurts for you Ron B. I agree that a support group would be good. Can you go talk with a therapist, pastor or? You are not alone even though it seems that way. Can you pray for guidance? When I feel hopeless, I pray. Please try to be gentle with yourself cause your heart is mending. I am sending a hug..you are not alone...
Ron B, there is a group called Grief Share. They have them in almost every city and town. This is a group that meets for 12 weeks at a time. You need to be with people who have also lost a loved one.
It's been awhile since I posted in here..If anything, I am at the worst point in my life..This past July 22 was the 1 year anniversary of losing my mom. Its been a rough year even more so for me because I dont have any friends to support me, or do things with, and i'm pretty much alone as the only relative I have is my brother and him and his family dont want anything to do with me over something thats happened over 20 years ago and they wont forgive me...
I had my job at first to keep me busy but as of January 12th, after 30 years with my company, I couldnt do the work anymore because of disability, so now i'm on social security disability, and my only outlets were to go visit my former co workers at 3am(I used to be overnights), and now people are making it an issue that i'm keeping them from getting their work done, so technically i'm not allowed to go there and just sit out of the way..i'm only allowed 15 minutes to come in to shop and then leave, so now I go there to pick up odds and ends, and then end up buying a coffee and sitting in a parking lot right next to the railroad tracks..My other source of comfort which is my dog is about to come to an end because she is 10 years old, going blind, has tumors all over her back and cant stand up straight to walk without falling over, so tomorrow I have to go to the veteranarian to end the life of the only friend, only being that still loves me unconditionally as the only other person was my mom who passed last year and my wife who passed in 2008. This may not be the forum for all this, but not a day or minute passes by that I dont think about suicide..The one thing that kept me from acting on it is my religious beliefs that its a sin and i'll go to hell, but in some ways, I feel i'm already there. I long to hear the advice and conversations with my mother, or to eat my wifes hot home cooked meals which now all I eat is microwaveable crap that is cooked in 2 minutes. Now after tomorrow when I come home from the vet alone, it will be a stone silent house...No dog barking at every little noise, no furry head to pat, noone to talk with, or do anything with.
sorry to be so depressing, but i'm hurting more than I ever have and at my breaking point...Just wanted to vent out a little in a grief chatroom.
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