Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Started by silvia maria. Last reply by silvia maria Aug 5, 2022.
Started by dream moon JO B Aug 13, 2021.
Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.
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My Mama flew away eleven months ago. I am healing...this is the hardest part of being human, death. We grieve our lives, our memories, our love. All I know is that this path is sacred and our tears our a sign that love is present. Cry me a river...love to you all. Here is something I wrote 2 days ago:
How do I put into words my profound feelings of grief. I no longer have a ground to walk on. I cannot show you love in all the ways I did before. I don't know who I am anymore without you. You gave me life...You were always going to be here for me. What happened? Did you know all along that you would be leaving so soon? If only that brought me more comfort, to know it was your soul plan. I am not there yet. My humanity is split into a million painful pieces. How long will it take me to put myself back together again? In so many ways. Mama, you were my reason to get up every morning. I had a plan to show you love, to help you be happy. It was what I was good at. Loving you was what I was good at. Even then, I felt invisible. But at least I had you to cling to. We were healing together Mama. I wanted more time for healing with you. I feel like I have spent all my life just trying to catch up. There has been so much trauma and pain and yet I still try to be okay. We all do. Now you are gone and have left a huge hole in my heart. I didn't need anymore pain Mama. I didn't need anymore suffering. I thought life was bringing us peace. All our talks about prosperity and peace. I truly thought that you were going to be able to relax for once. You have had a crazy hard life. I felt it was your turn for peace. Maybe that is why you left? You finally are at peace....It is me that hurts now. You are finally at peace....oh Mama, you deserve peace...
Yes, this is my first Christmas without mom. I can't stop thinking about her and crying. I can't stop thinking about the day she passed away. I can't stop thinking about the day I saw her in bed dead. I kissed her many, many times. I hugged her very, very tight and didn't want the funeral home people take her body away from me. It was October the 8th. After her death I had a lot of dreams about her. I want her with me. This is going to be a sad Christmas for me.
It is rough. i just keep hanging on to god for help.
Megan, I am feeling like you. It is hard to know that she is not here. Seeing the Christmas decorations make me sad. Knowing that I can't go to visit her and give her the gifts make me cry. I want to have my mom with me. I want to see her dancing for me. She was adorable. I miss her so much.
I didn't anticipate how difficult the holiday season would be. I am finding it very rough. It is hard to believe she is gone.
I know Margie, i keep calling my brother and telling him i cant do it anymore either. I am not the same either, and i dont find much to laugh about, her and i would laugh alot. But we have to keep trying, i know how it feels when you feel like you cant do it anymore. But we have to keep trying, thats when it has to be an hour at a time or a min.
I don't laugh like I did when my mom was here. More sadness than happiness right now. My heart is too hurt to laugh like I did in the past when I was with mom. I just can't do it anymore. I miss my mom too much. I have changed.
“The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.”
King James Version (KJV)
Ecclesiastes 7:3
“Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.”
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