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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Comment by Robin Williams on August 17, 2011 at 5:28pm

Janice-

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I loss my moma who was only 63 last July to a massive heart attack.  She was perfectly fine one day and gone the very next.  Every day is like a roller coaster physically and emotionally.  The latest bomb to drop is that my dad is looking at engagment rings for a woman he has only been dating for 2 1/2 months.  He began dating before my beloved Moma had been gone for a year.  My whole life is upside down so I understand that some days are are a total mess and other days you are "okay".  I pray that God will bless you during this time and that we all can find the peace we so desperately need.

Comment by mercy on August 17, 2011 at 2:11pm

Hi Janice; I'm so sorry about the loss of your mom. For me its been two months and even though mom was ill for a long time before her death, we still were not prepared. She was only 72 and had so much she wanted to accomplish. I miss her so much and have contemplated an easy end to life so I can be with her but I know that would hurt my family so bad. The only thing that gives me comfort is knowing she's no longer suffering emotional and physical pain. She had endured so much loss from a very early age. The last straw was ehen my 43 year old brother died suddenly last year. I was so angry at God for putting such a burden on my mom who was recovering from cancer. I know the pain you are going through, I don't have any words of comfort to give you but just know I understand and are here for you dear. Take care.

Comment by Janice C on August 17, 2011 at 9:56am

I wrote this and thought I posted it last year but no one ever responded to it so I'm re-posting. 

 

My mom passed away suddenly on October 23, 2010. She was 83 years old and was still working...go mom! She'd had stents placed in 2009 in her heart and was doing great and then out of nowhere had a heart attack on October 8th and was admitted to the cardiac unit at an area hospital. I got to the hospital in time to talk to her and be with her till it was time for her to go into the cardiac cath lab for the doctor's to check the stents and add new ones or re-stent. My sister and oldest brother were there with me and we all told her we loved her and that she'd be fine right before they took her in for the procedure and when they brought her out she was on a ventilator and never regained consciousness. This all happened on October 9th because she went into emergency around 2am and they got her stabilized. From that moment forward we were never able to communicate with her again. The doctors were optimistic in the beginning but it was a roller coaster. Some days she show signs of getting better then others she'd be the same or worse. She had an advanced medical directive that we were following regarding her wishes for treatment, etc. They'd given her 3 units of blood and she started bleeding internally and her other organs began to fail so we decided, along with her doctors, and following the directive, that we needed to let her go. It was the hardest decision we ever had to make. My sister, two brothers and I and our spouses and other family members gathered around her bedside on October 23rd as they removed her from the ventilator and she slipped away quietly at 5:50pm. It had been storming badly all day long but as we were all leaving the hospital, so numb from what we'd all been through, the clouds parted and the brightest beam of sunlight shown through. We felt it was a good sign. We all still miss her so, so much. In fact I've been decorating for Christmas today and had to stop because I was crying so much. If anyone had told me a year ago that mama wouldn't be here this Christmas I wouldn't have believed them. I feel so lost without her. Some days I'm okay but others I'm a total mess. I'm so thankful to have found this website.

Comment by mercy on August 15, 2011 at 12:40pm
Hi Janet; this is a very tough journey. I miss my mom so much, my chest hurts most of the time. I know I too question myself if I did enough for her and if she knew how much I loved her. She was the most loving caring mom (I know we all feel this way about our moms LOL). She had ten children and we all felt she loved us equally. Yesterday when I opened the box with some of the clothes mom gave me, the song " what a friend we have in Jesus" came to me out of the blues. IT WAS MY MOMS FAVORITE. I miss her so much, don't know how to go on without her.
Comment by Janet Reed on August 14, 2011 at 4:14am
Susan-I remember that was the one of the first things i was told to do by my family was to give her clothes away.  I did.  It was very hard.  but i kept some things that reminded me of her just for a while.  I know i cried buckets.  I am glad it is all done except boxes my brothers won't help me go thru.  I will give them another month then i Have to get rid of them.  I miss mom so much.  Been so down lately.  Cannot stop thinking about her and whether or not i did everything she needed and wanted that last year.  I am praying i took care of her the way she wanted.  I truly hope she knew i loved her so.  I tld her all the time, but did she really know?
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on August 13, 2011 at 3:38pm
susan, i still have my mom's clothes, but i dont even look at them, just know they are there, its too much a part of who she was....its hard for me
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on August 13, 2011 at 3:38pm
i visited my mom's grave the other day, it was hard, but then when i actually got there, it wasnt that bad, it was just a place where she rests, it didnt bother me, im glad i went though, it was so peaceful
Comment by Susan Miller on August 12, 2011 at 11:12pm

 I did not think I would be able to part with my mother's clothes so soon, but in one of those moment where you act without thinking, I found myself at a nursing home with a big tote full of Mom's clothes and shoes.  I lugged the tote to the nurse's station, told the nurse that my 82 year old mother recently passed away and I was wondering if  any of the patients could use Mom's clothes.  She said they would love to have them and could definately put them to good use.   As she helped me off-load the clothes from my tote into plastic bags, I noticed a group of elderly ladies in their wheelchairs gathered nearby, watching and listening. I smiled and said hello but being the emotional time that it was, I couldn't say much more.  As I turned to leave,  the ladies said "thank you" and one reached out at patted my hand.... such a simple gesture but one of the kindest expressions I have received, as by their expressions I could tell their thoughts were not on the clothes, but on their Mothers and I knew they understood. 

Comment by Janet Reed on August 12, 2011 at 6:53pm
Hey I wanted you to know Laura, it gets easier to remember all the memories.  As far as losing mom i am on a rollarcoaster right now not knowing where to go or what to do at times.  It has been 7 months and i seem to be having more good days and i am so happy for that.  Mom would have wanted it that way!  But, still it is tough and seems to be getting more frequent again.  Better tomorrows~
Comment by Janet Reed on August 12, 2011 at 6:49pm

Sounds great Laura!  Wish i could look forward to something as special in remembrance of mom.  Bad day!  Hopefully will have a good one soon to have a bit more hope for my future!  Take good care and keep omn living! You Go Girl!

 

 

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