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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 730
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New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12, 2019.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11, 2019.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by Avi on August 17, 2019 at 1:01am

Thanks all. This group is my extended family. 

Comment by M Adams on August 16, 2019 at 12:02pm

Avi, that is so lovely to hear — best wishes to her and your family!

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 16, 2019 at 11:48am

That's wonderful, Avi. Congratulations. And I wish you another 100 years with her.

Comment by Avi on August 16, 2019 at 12:57am

Hi All, 

Friends, my daughter's first bday celebration went great. She is now 1 year old and motivating force for my dad to live. My dad is able to laugh and enjoy life because of his grand daughter. Even I feel motivated to live so that I can see her grow. 

I feel gratitude to the almighty for giving me this angel. 

Comment by Theresa on August 9, 2019 at 4:58am

Brett. Like I said it my one hour of peace

than you Brett 

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 9, 2019 at 1:27am

Theresa, sitting in adoration is wonderful. It's easy to lose faith when life is kicking you in the gut. You are keeping a light burning.

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 8, 2019 at 2:03pm

We lost more than half of our class. Sometimes what a person needs is specific, and one size does not fit all. The homework just made me miserable. The first week we had to write a letter to our loved one and tell them what we miss about them. The next week we were to set a plate at the dinner table for our loved one. I don't see how any of that would help. It sure didn't help me. It just made things worse. I guess the point is to help you face what you are feeling. I needed no help there. I can understand why some therapists may not like those classes. The person who volunteers to lead the class may not be qualified to take on such a heavy subject.

The counselor I saw was no better. She would push daily affirmations. I can tell myself that I like myself all day long. That doesn't make me miss my mom any less.

What I need is to replace the love that I no longer have. That's hard to find. The day after my mom died, my girlfriend at the time, told me not to talk to my mom out loud because mom was probably in purgatory. That was a horrible thing to say. The problem is that you can't just manufacture love. You just can't pick a random person. It has to be real.

I sure do not get it from my remaining family. A couple of days after my mom died, my sister actually asked me if mom and I had ever had sex. I hung up on her. That's my family.

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 8, 2019 at 12:28pm

One of the issues that I have with almost any kind of counselor is that they are being paid. They are not emotionally invested. I guess if you find the right one you can still get some great advice, but there is something discouraging about having to pay someone to listen to you.

The grief class that I attended was through the church as well. We would meet for one hour a week and the person who ran the class would rush us through it so that it wouldn't go over an hour. Not everyone got to talk. We would go from one topic to the next too quickly. And I did realize that all of us could offer advice to the others without filter. It only takes one person who thinks his brand of pain is worse than yours to ruin a class.

All of this is why I think a real support system is so important. It would be great if the person who is there for you also loves you dearly.

Comment by Theresa on August 8, 2019 at 8:23am

Sue I went to a grief support group at my church do you know what one guy said to me and he was a surgeon when I was telling my moms story he said well what did you want she was 92 how about that I never went back

 He acted like I shouldn’t be grieving he’s there because his 26-year-old daughter died from appendicitis or pancreatitis or something I was in shock how rude he was 

Comment by Theresa on August 8, 2019 at 5:44am

Brett  I agree with you 100% the same exact thing occurred with me my friends my family for goodness sake half of my mothers family never even acknowledged her passing 

 I feel a special connection with you something has brought us to befriend each other  i’m so glad that somebody else understands how I feel anyway it’s nice to have everyone to talk to on here feels like we’re all friends but we’re so far away

 Sometimes we think why does no one else seem to understand how I feel or they’ll say to me your mother had a good life I said how do you know what kind a life my mother had I said my mom was here through the depression my mother some days didn’t have food to put on the table of course I was not born yet my brother was he told me that grandma knew how to make a lot of meals with potatoes 

 I’m so fortunate that I had my mom during the time that I did and  I was fortunate enough to have a kind and loving caring mom who I miss with every breath 

 

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Billy Jo Colt left a comment for Miriam Holmes
"Hi Miriam, You have my deepest admiration and empathy. I don't have any family left to speak of. For years there was no one to talk to about my daily life. Although I found it difficult to be open with people and preferred to help them rather…"
17 hours ago
M Adams commented on Miriam Holmes's blog post Healing Repetition
"Miriam, thanks for what you’ve said here, think it will be helpful to many other people here and I hope writing it down will help you as well.  What you say about the way you miss your uncle, the loss of rituals and of his expressions of…"
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Shirelle posted a status
"It will be 2 months since my son pass I'm feel do lost I'm don't want to work but have bills I don't want to talk to anyone just want to cry"
yesterday
Miriam Holmes posted a blog post

Healing Repetition

An uncle in our family committed suicide.  For five years his wife, Aunt Alice, said the same things over and over again to anyone who would listen.  We are a loving family, so we listened and said the same hopefully comforting things back to her again and again.  And after five years she was done and could move on.  I hope it doesn't take five years, but I need to talk about my Uncle Jim and my cousin Paul and probably repeat myself a lot. It took a long time to develop my relationship with…See More
yesterday
Katherine A Pericas Geersten commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, My name is Katherine.  I am learning how to deal with the loss of my mom, she passed away two months ago.My mom was never my best friend, but she was so much more. She made me the person that I am today and living without her has…"
Friday
Katherine A Pericas Geersten joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Friday
Katherine A Pericas Geersten posted a discussion

Hello, a little bit about me.

Two months ago, my mom committed suicide. As of now, this has to be one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with in my life. I hope that through this forum I may be able to just reach out to someone who can kind of understand what my situation is like.My friends try to talk to me (and I do reach out to them) but I feel that the situation I am in is a really heavy thing to talk about (basically I don't want to rope my friends into my troubles, nor do I want to be a burden to them). I talk to…See More
Friday
Profile IconRonald Gordon and Dona Fiedler joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
Miriam Holmes left a comment for Dona Fiedler
"Dona, I am so sorry for your pain.  A difficult relationship like yours always leaves all sorts of conflicting feelings that are hard to sort out.  I hope that the support you receive here will help you find your way to a better place."
Thursday
Miriam Holmes left a comment for Dona Fiedler
"Hi, I'm brand new, too.  I needed some place to talk out the grief that other people don't understand and don't really want to listen to.  Hopefully, this will be a helpful place for both of us.  Whatever your loss, I…"
Thursday
Miriam Holmes posted a blog post

The Little Things

This morning there was a crescent moon.  I always called it a "fingernail moon," but my cousin Paul called it a "toenail moon."  I got all choked up seeing it.  Then the Valentine cards are out at Walmart.  He loved all the holidays, and I always sent him cards.  But no more.  More tears to fight back.  Sometimes his love for you would overflow, and he would just have to give you a big hug and tell you that he loved you right then and there.  I have never had anyone else do that for me.  I knew…See More
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Monday
Carol Peckham Taylor left a comment for Greg Darby
"Sorry to hear of your loss. Taking baby step and present moment living will help, along with your family and close friends."
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Profile IconMiriam Holmes and Greg Darby joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 19
Shirelle posted a status
"My son died November 25 at 936 am and I have. Cried everyday I honestly don't know what to do I can't function at all what do I do?"
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Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello to all of you who are here for the same unimaginable reason as I am. I found this website last night after another night of going to bed where instead of sleep, pain sets in that I was able to escape from all day by being busy. Jess's…"
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Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.See More
Jan 14

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