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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by Brett Bowman on August 7, 2019 at 11:10pm

Sue, I went through grief counseling and I cleaned out the books on grief at my local library. None of it helped. I'm not knocking it. Those classes and books help a lot of people. Didn't help me though.

I will tell you what especially didn't help. My brother calling me the day after my mom died (Christmas Day) and asking me which was the biggest television in the house. He reduced my mom to a television. My sister, who was angry that mom didn't choose her as her caretaker, who would call me every day and tell me all the ways that I had let mom down in my lifetime. Or my other brother who just saw mom as a bank account and never knew what a wonderful woman she was.

It didn't help that my friends gave me about a month to grieve and then acted like I had mental problems because I was no longer the life of the party. There was my minister who I had made an appointment with, who just kept looking at the clock over my head while I was talking.

It was not having a support system that broke me down. I still do not.

Theresa, I swear (I try not to swear), you and I are like brother and sister. I understand everything that you say. Less than a week separates our mother's death. We are the same age, and we mostly have the same issues. I really believe that if you live close by that we would be best friends. You are dear to me.

All of you are dear to me. If I ever figure this out, you will be the first people that I tell.

Comment by Theresa on August 7, 2019 at 5:41pm

Sue My mom was the same way I never realized how many peoples lives she touched until she was gone  all the way down to the guy at the 7-Eleven the guy at the Acme everywhere in her hometown she was kind compassionate caring she always calmed me down because I’m a big worrywart I have no one now that understands anyway except for everyone on here believe me I’m right there with you I don’t care if it’s been one day one year two years three years I still feel the same.    Is it as strong the pain and the sadness I would say you come to terms with the “new normal” but I still cry I miss her so much so much I keep saying I know one day I’ll see you again mom I know you’ll be waiting for me  when my time comes.  Sometimes I just can’t put into words how I feel I have to say the first year I can’t remember I was in such a fog I don’t know how I functioned.   This December will be four years everybody else has gone on  and if I mention my mom they say that was years ago and I say you still have your mother you have no idea     My mom and I had a special relationship she had me when she was 42 and we were very very close or used to call her probably 10 times a day to make sure she was OK just to hear her voice  and make sure that she was OK wherever she was home out if she was out I would say call me when you get home 

Comment by Sue Toler on August 7, 2019 at 12:26pm

Good Moms are such a blessing.  My Mom was wonderful & she was always so kind to others.  

I worry all the time about everything.  My Mom always would have something calming to say about my worries & made them easier to deal with.  I miss her words of encouragement.  I keep reading books on grief & worry, hoping something will help, but no easy way to work through it.  Miss my Mom so much, 

Comment by Avi on August 7, 2019 at 1:09am

Mothers are the biggest asset and it is so unfortunate that we have to lose them someday. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 6, 2019 at 10:43pm

Yep. It's like we had the same mom. In a way we did. They both loved their children the same.

Comment by Theresa on August 6, 2019 at 4:00pm

Yes Brett I suffer with anxiety, I worry constantly.

I think my dr is tired of hearing me, he prescribed some SSRI, but I am afraid to take it, go figure.

You brought tears to my eyes, I miss my mom and love her so much, sometimes I just shut my eyes and try to remember her face, always smiling, always happy.

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 6, 2019 at 3:47pm

I often times pray that I will have a dream about my mom. Hasn't happened yet. Not a good dream anyway. I've had some bad ones. Dreams often reflect what you are feeling. I have so much anxiety in regards to my mom that it only makes sense that my dreams would be bad.

I haven't been able to take a nap since my mom died. I know why. Before my mom went on Hospice care we had good days and bad. One day all seemed well. I decided to lay down for a few minutes. I was having a really good dream that my mom was healthy again and we were having lunch. I could hear someone calling my name. That woke me up. It was my mom. She couldn't get up. She was calling me for help. I don't want this to sound like I blame my mom, but that day, my mom invaded my dreams. My reality invaded a few minutes of peace.

Now, when I try to take a nap, something will jar me before I can fall asleep. It's fight or flight. I can't avoid it.

I will say this though. As messed up as my life may be today, my mom was worth it.

I love you mom. 

Comment by Theresa on August 6, 2019 at 3:20pm

It’s terrible.   Thank you for letting me know you feel the same

Comment by Sue Toler on August 6, 2019 at 3:06pm

Theresa, hi, I stay tired & just feel like I drag through the day.  Hoping it will get better.  It helps so much to have others that understand.  Take care, 

Comment by Theresa on August 6, 2019 at 2:53pm

 I am just sitting here reading what everyone has written and it’s just peaceful to know that we all feel the same 

 I only could wish that I could have a dream of my mom I have no dreams 

Avi hope your daughters birthday makes wonderful  memories

yes Brett a light at the end of the tunnel would be great 

Some days I’m just so tired 

 

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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Danny. Surviving is art which we all need to practice. Today I met a friend whose father is witnessing the similar illness as my mother i.e. late stage cancer. He is also going through the same emotional turmoil as I went in 2018. After this…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Danny. I hear you.  December will be 4 years "
yesterday
Danny replied to Carla Rose's discussion Lost my Mom a Few Days Ago in the group Lost Without My Mom
"Great reply Sandra"
yesterday
Danny updated their profile
yesterday
Danny commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Its been 5 years and here I am back on the site. Surviving and functioning but just about. "
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Wonderful Avi!!!  "
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Amen, Avi."
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks all. This group is my extended family. "
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, that is so lovely to hear — best wishes to her and your family!"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"That's wonderful, Avi. Congratulations. And I wish you another 100 years with her."
Friday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am so happy for you & your family.  I am glad your daughter had a great birthday!  That first birthday is always special.  Take care, "
Friday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Friends, my daughter's first bday celebration went great. She is now 1 year old and motivating force for my dad to live. My dad is able to laugh and enjoy life because of his grand daughter. Even I feel motivated to live so that I…"
Friday
Stephanie Berndt is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Judy Pugh left a comment for Kevin's Mom
"You are still Kevin’s mom, and you always will be. NOTHING, not even death, can change that. I don’t know what your beliefs are, and I’m not trying to shove my beliefs onto you. I just want you to know that I truly believe this is…"
Aug 10
Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Teresa D. the line is "Mama  don't you cry for me, I'm sailing in eternity..." Makes me feel emotional and happy that it resonates with you and that you remember it. <3"
Aug 9
Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Kevin's mom I am so terribly sorry for your devastating loss. I lost my only child as well - Daniel - at age 17. That was 6 and a half years ago. I can't tell you how i made it through, but I have, one day at a time sometimes one minute at…"
Aug 9
Gale Brunault commented on Gale Brunault's group Loss of an Only Child
"I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious son. Why do bad things happen to good people? We may never find the answers.......please know that you are not alone. "
Aug 9
Holycow updated their profile
Aug 9
Kevin's Mom commented on Gale Brunault's group Loss of an Only Child
"I lost my 32 yr old son, my only child, on July 10 2019. He was killed in a motorcycle accident. My heart is shattered and my life will never be the same. This is life's most cruel event."
Aug 9
Kevin's Mom joined Gale Brunault's group
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