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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Song to my mom 3 Replies

Started by Panda. Last reply by Jayne May 14.

New here 4 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Jayne May 14.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11, 2019.

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Comment by Brett Bowman on July 16, 2019 at 2:48pm

The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on July 15, 2019 at 3:27pm

While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with us, even when we are not aware. It was a traumatic event. Even if we wanted to forget, we would not be able to. The loss is ingrained in us. While it will not go away, we can ease our minds by realizing that we are safe. That is a hard thing to do. It's not something that you can just tell yourself, or something that someone else can tell you. You have to feel it and believe it. That's our challenge. We have to keep trying.

Comment by Brett Bowman on July 15, 2019 at 2:23pm

There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket.

Comment by Brett Bowman on July 15, 2019 at 12:47pm

I would rather cry on the outside than on the inside. Crying on the outside is a release. I am really tired of being sad. I'm also tired of being scared. Life without my mom still seems like a scary proposition. All we can do is to continue to put one foot in front of the other, and hope that better days are ahead. We all need hope.

Avi, it's wonderful that you have someone to concentrate all of your love on.

Comment by SelV on July 14, 2019 at 11:18pm

Avi, I am glad for you. You have somebody-your flesh and blood-to live for...you seem to have made that your motivation. Good for you!

It is 15 July and 16 months since my mother left me for good. Nothing but a tearful day for me. Not only crying outside but also inside. So much pain. I am just a sad person...even when I appear happy, it is smiling depression. 

Comment by Avi on July 12, 2019 at 9:56am

Hi All, 

Hope everybody doing good. My daughter is growing up and keeps me busy but any day I sit and feel guilty of not serving my mother, I feel like crying. She should have enjoyed so much with her grand daughter but destiny had some other plans. 

The journey is tough but need to complete it to meet her again. This is a hope and a motivation to live. 

Comment by Avi on June 25, 2019 at 11:32pm

I also see her in dreams sometimes but when I wake up I hardly remember anything. Initially I was not able to sleep and used to wake up in nights but then life got busy in other things and I started sleeping properly. 

Everybody of us hope to meet her someday, somewhere. Lets keep this hope alive and live. 

I wish I can ever meet few people of this group and cry together. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 25, 2019 at 11:55am

Something I have noticed is that the content of a dream may not be a big deal, but what you are feeling in the dream is where the power comes from. The dream I had was horrible. It was so short, but I had a sick feeling in my stomach throughout. This is why I say that you can't hide from grief. It has to be dealt with. I certainly have not run from my grief, but it still taps me on the shoulder when I try to get a break from it, like when I try to sleep. It's still there. Hopefully, one day it will dissipate. 

Sue, what you are describing is traumatic. That will always be with you. But I hope that knowing your mom is not suffering anymore brings you peace.

Comment by SelV on June 25, 2019 at 12:18am

There's so much literature on the interpretation of dreams on the internet. Not sure how accurate they are. I dreamt of my mother in the aftermath of her death last year...just some fleeting images of her.

But this April and May, I had altogether four dreams in which she was very much alive and healthy. My sister, my mum and I were in all the four dreams. My second brother was in one of the dreams together with us and my third brother was in another with us. 

I like it that I dream about my mother. Very much active and happy in my dreams. How I wish I do not wake up from my sleep/dreams to face the painful reality of being an adult orphan.

More so as a motherless daughter!

All I want is my mother...right now and right here!!

Wishful thinking!!!

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 24, 2019 at 6:22pm

I rarely dream about my mom. When I do dream about her it is almost always bad. I had a horrible dream last night. It was very short. I was standing near the front door of my mom's house. I looked down to greet my dog. There was a little puppy with her. Although I had never seen that dog before, in my dream I somehow knew her. I knew that it was a dog that had died years ago. I said, "You're not supposed to be here" and then I opened the front door to shoo her out. The dog left. I was closing the door when I felt a pull on the handle on the other side of the door. When the door opened I was face to face with my mom. Her face was expressionless. She said, "I'm home." She walked past me and into her bedroom. I was thinking "Mom's dead." I paused for a minute and then followed her into her room. She wasn't there. And her room looked like no one had been in there in 20 years. It was dusty and their was debris on the floor.

I don't know what all of that means. I just know it was horrible. I didn't go back to sleep.

I sure wish I could have a good dream about her. I think the scars are still too fresh, even three and a half years later. I don't know if they will ever heal.

 

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