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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 731
Latest Activity: Oct 8, 2019

Discussion Forum

New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12, 2019.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11, 2019.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by Theresa on June 19, 2019 at 11:02am

Yes I agree with Brett and Sue, this website is wonderful, it has helped me understand that I am not alone.

Its like you find a bond with the people on here.

Yes 16 is very young to lose your mom, I am sorry for that, we are all here for you.

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 18, 2019 at 11:12pm

Abbie, I am so sorry. This is a good place to talk because everyone here knows what it's like to lose their mom. We know how much it hurts. Every circumstance is different. I don't know what it's like to have lost my mom at 16. I can't imagine. One thing we all have in common is that we all loved our moms with all of our hearts. We still do.

If I can help you in any way, please let me know. If you have questions, need advice, or just need someone to lean on, please let me know.

God Bless You.

Comment by Theresa on June 18, 2019 at 5:45pm

abbie

my mom died the same way sudden cardiac death, I know exactly how you feel.....

Comment by abbie burns on June 18, 2019 at 5:12pm

Its so hard i miss her so much and can't speak to anyone about it

Comment by abbie burns on June 18, 2019 at 5:11pm

My mum died on a trip with my dad to new york. I already hadn't seen her for 6 days. I'm only 16 and it was a sudden cardiac death

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 13, 2019 at 2:47pm

I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to do. I knew who to call, but how do you go from having someone be a constant part of your life, the best part, to not having her at all? It's an odd feeling. I was just looking at her, seeing that same familiar face, but I knew she was far away from me.

It was worth it though. Mom will always be worth it.

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 13, 2019 at 1:27pm

It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you.

Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will listen for a minute and then she will start talking about her grand kids latest accomplishments, or about a vacation that her kids are taking. I am not afforded grief.

Sometimes we have to take this walk alone. There are people who have a wonderful support system. God Bless them. There are others who do not. I come here from time to time because I know that the people here understand. I hope to offer a listening ear to others as well. I can't be where you are and put my arm around you, but I can sure listen, and I sure do understand.

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 13, 2019 at 11:01am

Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important to face them head on. It sounds like you are.

Comment by Avi on June 13, 2019 at 2:25am

I agree Brett. It is mainly the guilt. Thanks for the nice words

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 13, 2019 at 1:20am

After my mom died I came to a sad reality. It didn't really matter who reached out to me. I mean, it certainly helped to have a shoulder to lean on, but the only person I really wanted to talk to was my mom. I can't have that. We can't have that.

Avi, what you are talking about is two fold. One: It's hard to have a good time because we remember what we have lost, and it can hit you right in the middle of a good belly laugh. Grief has a very long reach. Two: And this is most unfortunate, is the frequent guilt that accompanies grief. It's one thing for me to say to myself, "How can I be having a good time without mom?" I can live with that. It's when I start feeling guilt about all of the things I think I should have done. Hindsight is 20/20. I can't have the old days back. I hope and pray that we all can let go of the lingering, ever present grief that we have. We can learn from our mistakes, but we cannot go back and make them right. Mom's have strong shoulders. If ever I let my mom down, she loved me with all of her heart knowing full well that I was a long way from perfect. It's that unconditional love that I miss the most.

 

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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I have seven tattoos one for each year Julian has been gone. It is my way of honoring him  People make fun of me saying I am too old (71) to have them. Glad to hear I am not the only one still honoring their spouse after death."
Jan 13
Serenity replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
"Wow..you suicide yourself there us no place for you in heaven. You will find yourself again and life will go on without your dearly departed. Learn to love yourself find what you like to do there has to something. Think of it like this he…"
Jan 12
Serenity replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"It is a tradgedy to lose a loved one. But it does get better. Not everyday will be the same some days burn to the core more than others. Find a hobby or volunteer or help someone basically find something to do to ease the monotony of the day. In…"
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Linda.  It's beautiful for you to had done that.  I have tattoo of our names in a heart.  I wear two sets of our wedding bands on both pinkys and ring fingers.  We're still married and always will be forever.…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful post. I have a tattoo on my shoulder of both our hands on our wedding day. I added my own words. God be with you."
Jan 12
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Rick Rilloraza left a comment for morgan
"Yes I still miss her terribly.  I am still sad and angry.  I was left with two boys ages 12 and 8 at that time.  What kept me going was making sure they were provided for and raised well.  I still have full on bawls when the…"
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Reliving two years ago.  Ten days till She took Her last exhaling breath in my arms.  She went knowing that we will be together forever and it can't come soon enough for me. Till then:"
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"Rick, I am curious because I am within a week of being a widow of seven years how you are doing it allotter eight years?  Today, and more often lately (lets say for about the past six months) I have become more angry and more hateful of having…"
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