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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

I miss my Mom 4 Replies

Started by Sun. Last reply by Michael Thompson Oct 28, 2018.

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Comment by Sue Toler on May 7, 2019 at 6:24am

I have been dreading Mother's Day.  It will be my first without my Mom.  Thanks for what you wrote.  It gives me hope.  I wish I could have told my Mom one more time what a wonderful Mom she was & how much I loved her.  Thanks for your kind words & wisdom.  

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 7, 2019 at 12:16am

Mother's Day is my mom's birthday. There is good and bad about being further removed from my mom's death. I remember when she died, in the days and weeks that followed I would think to myself, "In 20 years maybe I will have adjusted to this." It's going on three and a half years and the trauma of her death has abated, but one thing I regret is that my mom is not as fresh in my memory as she was. I think about her every day, but I can't hear her voice or picture her face as easily. The memories are still there but I feel further removed from them. Immediately after our moms die it is hard to accept the reality that they are gone. You just saw her. You just talked to her. It's hard to imagine saying, "Mom" and not having her answer. The second phase of grieving for your mom is when you finally know that she is gone and she is not coming back. That's a cold reality. Now it's about holding on to what I knew. M, those little green shoots you saw are important. You are keeping her memory alive.

Comment by M Adams on May 6, 2019 at 11:28pm

My mother was the heart of our family — hard to go on without her, but I appreciate the image of love continuing to flower.  At her memorial packages of seeds were given out — she loved to garden and grew beautiful roses, lilies, tomatoes, everything.  A while back I put them in a pot on the windowsill, watered them and set the pot inside a plastic bag.  This morning checked for the first time and saw some little green shoots coming up.  In a way I’m dreading Mother’s Day but this made me feel a bit closer to her.

Comment by Sue Toler on May 6, 2019 at 8:09am

How beautiful, thank you.  I took care of my Mom & am so thankful now to have been there for her.  She took such good care of my brother & I, always there for us.  

Comment by Avi on May 5, 2019 at 11:40pm

Thanks for sharing this M Adams. I also weep remembering small small things about my mother. 

Comment by M Adams on May 5, 2019 at 10:18pm

Just came across this quotation from the wonderful British actress Miriam Margolyes.  Very devoted to both her parents, she took time away from her career to nurse her mother through illness, and later had this to say:

” [on her mother] She took centre-stage in our lives. She was the star. And when I hear pieces of music that my mother liked, I weep. I think it's true that the people you've loved in your life never leave you, because seeds of that love always remain flowering somewhere.”

Comment by Sue Toler on April 26, 2019 at 11:26am

That is so true.  I was blessed to have my Mom & have wonderful memories.  She was my best friend & always to good & kind to everyone.  

Comment by Brett Bowman on April 26, 2019 at 10:37am

The triggers are one of the hardest thing. Just hearing a song, driving down a familiar street, a smell, a television show, can all bring back a painful memory. Even if they invoke a nice memory, it still hurts because of lost time, not being able to have something that had always been there.

The goal and hope is  that one day those triggers will not hurt so much, that they will even make us smile. But it's hard to get from point A to point B. All we can do is try and to realize that there are things in life that we cannot control.

Comment by Sue Toler on April 26, 2019 at 10:28am

Thank you so much!  It hurts, but it helps to share with others.  Some days are better than others & there are triggers.  I am so happy for Avi, his daughter & father.  She will love having her grandfather there.  I appreciate your message & thank you so much.  

Comment by Brett Bowman on April 26, 2019 at 10:20am

Sue, if we can ever answer any questions that you may have about what you are experiencing, please let us know. Everyone's story is different, but the feeling of loss that we all have is familiar. This is a group of people who understand.

 

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