I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 729
Latest Activity: Mar 14

Discussion Forum

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

I miss my Mom 4 Replies

Started by Sun. Last reply by Michael Thompson Oct 28, 2018.

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of I miss my Mom! to add comments!

Comment by Brett Bowman on February 28, 2019 at 12:07am

Avi, I have been thinking about your post all day.  And I do not want you to feel like you are alone at all. There's not a day that goes by, not an hour when I don't think about my mom. And I think for people like me and Theresa, days have become years. Sadly there comes a time when we see this as the new normal. But three years is still early where grief is concerned. I am always hoping that as time goes on this may get a little easier. And I think there will be times when it feels that way, and then other times when reality slaps us right in the face. For me, I just miss my mom. The guilt has subsided because I loved her SO much, and she knew that. Your mom knows that, too. Missing her still hasn't stopped though. The only thing that I can think of that would make me feel batter is my mom, and I can't have that. So, know that you are not alone. We may be an ocean apart, but I am grieving right next to you.

Comment by Brett Bowman on February 27, 2019 at 12:37pm

That's all it takes, Avi. Just one thing that makes you want to get up in the morning. That's a good start.

Comment by Avi on February 27, 2019 at 12:28pm

Hi All, 

Today I again cried remembering my mother. I miss her so much and feels devastated sometimes. My daughter is my motivation to live. 

Comment by Theresa on February 20, 2019 at 5:44am

I envy people also Brett that have a loving support system to help them through what we are going through.

God is love and he wants us to be compassionate and kind, and he will always be by our side.

I believe that

Comment by Brett Bowman on February 17, 2019 at 10:08pm

You are right. I became conditioned with my mom. Every health crisis that my mom would have was traumatic for me. And then there would be that ray of light. I would have mom safe at home once again. I developed some false hope. But as time passed her body just started to shut down. It was like a little boat that kept springing leaks. We would plug a leak and then there would be another one. I ran out of fingers after a while. I couldn't stop it. Praying couldn't stop it. Her doctors couldn't stop it. Now I am just waiting for another leak to emerge. It's all I know, and it's all I've seen. I can tell another person that things are going to be okay, but I just can't believe it for myself. I am going to have to experience consistent peace and small victories before I can or will believe that things will be okay again. When my mom died my security was just ripped away violently. After a 12 year battle you would think that I had time to prepare, but I was not prepared, and I don't know if you can be prepared to lose the center of your life like that. They say that God is love. In an instant what I loved was gone. So I lost my mom and God suddenly seemed very far away. I have not recovered yet.

I truly envy people who have a loving support system to help them through something like this. 

Comment by M Adams on February 17, 2019 at 12:27pm

Baby steps is such a good metaphor — I think when we’ve been traumatized by terrible loss, many of us lose our resilience, and basically have to baby ourselves, setting very tiny goals and challenges, slowly working our way forward.  Something bad has always been and will always be around the corner, but before the traumatic loss we weathered bad things, and realized — without really even thinking about it — that there were also good surprises around corners from time to time.  In my case, and my impression is that this is true for lots of people, the time before the traumatic loss was a long period of nonstop vigilance and anxiety punctuated by mostly terrible occurrences and a constant struggle to help the beloved person stay alive...a struggle which of course will ultimately fail.  

It’s probably not so surprising that this experience, a kind of training in bad outcomes and terrible shocks, leaves its imprint on the survivor — the depth and duration of the impression no doubt depends on many factors, but regardless of why, it seems like we have to nurture ourselves and bring ourselves along, unless there is someone around with the love and insight to be of assistance in this particular way.  I think it helps, at least seems to help me, to silently list any good things (however tiny)  that happened during the day, when I get into bed and turn out the light.  I also tried writing down things to be grateful for, but it is too soon for me, i think...seemed to just trigger grief and bitterness.  Maybe I will try again in the future.

Comment by Brett Bowman on February 16, 2019 at 11:10am

Theresa, it's hard for me to be positive about anything. I always feel like something bad is right around the corner. That's because every time I thought mom was safe and had cleared another hurdle, something else would go wrong. It's just the way I'm conditioned. That's something people who haven't lived through this just cannot understand. I just have to keep working and taking baby steps.

Comment by Theresa on February 16, 2019 at 5:45am

Brett you are right that is the "dark" side, it scares me too

That is so great about the phone call from the directors at the center, that must have made you feel like a million bucks.  

You are making a positive impact, I know you have on here.

Comment by Brett Bowman on February 15, 2019 at 10:28pm

Avi, I actually looked up the EquoVox. I couldn't find an English link for it. I'll keep looking. I'm just really curious how it works. And I want you to make your own decisions. I just want you to be happy.

Comment by Brett Bowman on February 15, 2019 at 10:26pm

M, I'm half Catholic, and Theresa is 100% Catholic. This is a huge part of Catholicism. Ouiji boards just scare the crap out of me. I listened to a lecture series from a Vatican exorcists. There was a question and answer period. Someone asked him how he knew for sure that the people he worked with were not just mentally unbalanced. He said that 99% of the time the person just needs a good psychiatrist, but he also told some stories that were amazing if true, and I don't know why he would lie. He was adamant about not trying to contact someone beyond the grave. It's scary stuff. The Vatican can list the names of seven angels. They can list a lot more demons. They keep those names quiet for fear that someone will think it's a joke and try to summon those names. He even said that one of the first questions he asks in an exorcism is, "Who am I dealing with?" It's hard to imagine in 2019 that such things are possible, but he is listening for specific names. And he has a history with them. He has picked up conversations from where he last left off with a demon. It will say things that it could only know if they had a history. And he reiterated that when a four year old girl starts speaking in Latin with a very deep voice, and knows your life history, it changes your perspective about how real this is. I know it sounds like a lot of superstition, but it scares the crap out of me, and I'm not messing with it.

This morning when I woke up I had two messages on my answering machine from directors at the Wellness Center. They both said the same thing. One of them was, "I don't know what you did to those kids, but their parents are raving about you." It made me cry. It has been a long time since I felt like I was making a positive impact.


Members (728)



Latest Activity

M Adams is now friends with Brenda Ann, Sue Toler and Elynn m
13 hours ago
Sue Toler shared Karen's group on Facebook
19 hours ago
Sue Toler updated their profile
19 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Our last trip together, cruise to the Bahamas. What a great memory."
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"sinse goin  to spookss spirtt churchhss it seams to  get me comfott it dz i dt frs fewa; feal alonee i do not not iv sean  peplee in tears ti i do bt so omftin ido not get told how i…"
Addie commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"I had a relationship with someone for 5 years. I am married, and wasn't ready to leave my husband. So this man and I met infrequently (every month or 2) and talked a lot through text, but I felt like we had a very close bond. He finally told me…"
Addie joined Cathy Richardson's group

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Profile IconAddie and Donald Perry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife, the love of your life, is BEAUTIFUL! And it does seem like it was destiny that brought the two of you together. Beautiful story of the two of you meeting for the first time. Like Linda says, we have to be grateful that God sent us…"
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife is beautiful. We just have to so blessed for God sending us our soulmates."
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Everyone,  Thanks for the cudos. I know every one of us is trying to cope with the loss of our Beloved Spouses. I too cannot do the things we shared and that's just about everything. Our likes were the same, so the only thing I did…"
Profile IconMary and Leane joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am so grateful that each of you share what you are doing and how you are dealing with your loss at whatever stage in months or years.  In the past I never had to worry about looking for company for misery.  I wasn't miserable.…"
Mar 19
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Thanks for your encouraging words."
Mar 19
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, What you say here about your day sounds like my miserable daily schedule: "My schedule is pretty much go to the bedroom between 1 to 4am and most often I sleep until 11 or noon.  And if I have to get up quickly I find I end up…"
Mar 19
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Marita,  I can relate to what you are saying: the activities that Joseph and I loved to do together are now very painful to do on my own. But it seems that you have started taking baby steps in the right direction by starting to run again.…"
Mar 19
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, This is awesome! How inspiring that you run marathons to honor your beloved husband and soulmate Julian at age 65! "
Mar 19
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, That is quite an accomplishment! My husband was my running partner and we did a lot of charity runs together. My last run was 2 months after he died and dedicated the run to him. Since then I have tried running alone but it was too…"
Mar 19
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi All, This is now I cope with the loss of MY BELOVED HUSBAND AND SOULMATE JULIAN. I run marathons in his honor, it keeps me going. I ran 26.2 miles in his memory at 65."
Mar 19
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am finding it so hard to keep motivated.  I have tons I need to do to keep afloat and try to honor the legacy of my husband and yet all I seem able to do is push myself, force myself.......constantly. Its the putting on the mask and…"
Mar 18

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service