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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 731
Latest Activity: on Thursday

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New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by M Adams on February 4, 2019 at 8:43pm

I have something similar I think, rush of negative thoughts at lights out and then when I’ve finally managed to trick or distract most of them away and start to drift, it’s like I suddenly find out that my mother is dead, my husband is dead, like something that just happened, although it’s been months for my mother and more than two years for my husband.  And my heart starts pounding and it’s like I’m terrified, although at the same time I’m not deluded, I do know that it isn’t new information, but it feels like it is.  Started reading some stuff lately about considering that love and especially the people we love are on loan to us, and maybe that is making some sense to me as an approach that might help me to better accept my current reality. Not yet though.

Comment by Brett Bowman on February 4, 2019 at 7:21pm

I just want to add... this is horrible. I always miss my mom so much, but there are times when the reality that my mom is not coming back is just too much. I couldn't sleep last night. When the lights are out and it's so quiet, I can think so much more clearly, and that's not always a good thing, because I can picture my mom so well. Sometimes I feel almost a sense of panic when I feel the reality of my mom's death. It's like I can close my eyes and it all seems so fresh, and I wonder how time got away from me so quickly. Just yesterday (It seems like) she was here. Now she's gone. All in the twinkling of an eye. I want my old life back, but I cannot have it, ever again. That is so hard to accept.

Comment by Brett Bowman on February 4, 2019 at 6:19pm

My photo albums are in a drawer next to me bed. It's like opening Pandora's box. I just can't.

Comment by M Adams on February 4, 2019 at 5:19pm

It’s strange about pictures.  After my husband died I immediately searched for and printed out phots and put them everywhere in frames so I could see him.  Later I made a photo album with pictures of him and us and our life, also writing about him and the story behind individual pictures.  That meant a lot to me but after I finished it I haven’t been able to look at it again, afraid it would be too painful. Yet I’m glad it’s there.  At some point I will be able to look at it.  Since my mother’s death I have also surrounded myself with pictures of her which I do find comforting. I want to be able to see her wherever I am.  Yet when my father sends photos of her, which he now does all the time, I often can’t face opening the envelope for many days, and when I do finally open them, seeing the photos make me cry.  Yet after I posted my mother’s picture here, the kind response was uplifting for me.  So basically it is all kind of confusing and I’m not surprised that some people are like Brett and not up for looking at pictures of the people they have lost.

Comment by Theresa on January 31, 2019 at 6:35pm

She looks like a wonderful person.

Its hard and it always will be

Avi, hang in there we all have success and many many failures

Comment by Brett Bowman on January 31, 2019 at 6:22pm

It's good that you can look at her picture. I have 100's of pictures of my mom but I am afraid to look at them. That cut is still very raw. But I think it's wonderful and therapeutic for you to look at her. Maybe one day I will be able to look at a picture of my mom and smile instead of cry. 

Comment by M Adams on January 31, 2019 at 6:02pm

Why in the world am I crying, guess it’s just my thing now...thank you so much, Avi and Brett, for your kind words about my mother, they are appreciated.  Kind of a strange impulse to put her picture there, but glad now that I did.  

Comment by Brett Bowman on January 31, 2019 at 5:44pm

Avi, I go through those emotion every day.

Comment by Brett Bowman on January 31, 2019 at 5:44pm

Your mom is lovely. I love her already.

Comment by Avi on January 31, 2019 at 1:26pm

Such a lovely smile adams. Thanks for sharing. 

I was travelling for the last 10 days and just got relax today. In the last 10 days, I tried really hard to feel normal and enjoy, got success to some extent and failed on many occasions. 

 

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Nancy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
G B is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
Friday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Wednesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Tuesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Jul 16
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Jul 16
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 15
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Jul 15
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Jul 15

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