Information

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 731
Latest Activity: Sep 9

Discussion Forum

New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of I miss my Mom! to add comments!

Comment by Theresa on January 2, 2019 at 6:22am

Avi, you know meditation is wonderful, I need to get back to yoga, it did wonders for me after my mom passed.

Brett I agree with everything you say, I am happy to have somewhere to go an express my sorrow, my friends, family don't care, you know why because my friends have no idea they still have both parents.......

Comment by Avi on January 2, 2019 at 4:24am

Thanks Brett for the lovely words. 

Where is Virginia?

Comment by Brett Bowman on January 2, 2019 at 1:07am

I think those are great resolutions. Exercise makes you feel better. I love to lift, and the time that I spend in the gym is the best part of my day.

Avi, I have really high hopes for you. You have all the tools (blessings) to be happy. You lost your mom but you welcomed a child into your life. If there is anyone that we can love as much as we love our moms, it's our children. I don't have any kids, but what a blessing that would have been to have filled the void in my life with a child. You have a life partner (your wife) to go through the days with, and to spend the holidays with, someone who cares if you ate today, or if you have clean clothes or not. Someone who is waiting for you to come home safely. And someone who is only an arms length away. You have a career, a purpose. Your guilt is certainly real, and I understand it, but you obviously love your mom, and if I know that, I can guarantee you that she knows that. Allow yourself to be happy. The Lord has blessed you with an abundance.

If we (all of us) could combine all that we have, we probably wouldn't need to be on this site. I may have something that someone else wishes that they had. Some would say that I had the perfect ending with my mom. There is not a day that goes by when I don't think about Theresa's last visual of her mom. One of us, I can't remember who, found out that her mom died on Facebook. That is beyond horrible. M. Adams is dealing with the loss of both her husband and her mom. But I still have holes in my life that are bigger than the Grand Canyon. Maybe we all do. I don't know. I can only speak for myself. I hope I am alone there.

I hope and pray that the void each of us has in our life can and will be filled. I think of you all as family.

Comment by Avi on January 1, 2019 at 11:55pm

Yes Brett. Agree. 

Today I start the first day in office with below resolution 
MMS (Meditation, Muscle i.e. to exercise and Smile). I hope all these help overcome my grief and guilt. 

Wishing you all a great year ahead. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on January 1, 2019 at 12:23pm

Avi, I thought about that as I posted. We all have different experiences. Theresa didn't get to say goodbye to her mom, and I know how you feel about your last days with your mom. We have a saying in the church, "Robbing Peter to save Paul." Basically it means trading one thing for another with no clear advantage. While I did my best with my mom, I could probably list 100 other ways in which I came up short. My mom's death was like a nuclear warhead going off. I survived, but I feel like the world as I know it has been destroyed. I'm trying to pick up the pieces and am not succeeding. For all of my great memories of that time, I also have so many traumatic memories as well. And what's scary is that you realize that life doesn't wait for you to pick up the pieces. It just keeps coming at you. Quite often I just want to give up but I can't. We have to keep plugging. Somehow, we have to keep trying. 

Comment by Avi on January 1, 2019 at 11:39am

Brett, the feeling that your mom loved when you took care for her is amazingly pleasing as I do not have the same feeling. 

I would easily lived with this feeling the rest of my life but unfortunately for me it is not the case. I think she may have thought that I have not taken good care of her. In the last few days I was there but I feel guilty of not able to understand her illness clearly and made her last few days very painful. I was trying to save her but it never worked. 

Wishing you all a very happy new year. For me 2018 was worst than 2017. My mother's critical illness was detected in 2017 but she died in 2018 so I consider both of these year as devastating for me. I hope to find peace in 2019. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on January 1, 2019 at 1:00am

I felt that as well. There were times when my mom would bounce back and be able to drive and shop and take care of herself. Those were such good times. It always culminated with mom and I watching television at the end of the night, laughing over the same episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond over and over again. I just enjoyed my mom's company. She was my best friend, and then couple that with our dogs, I couldn't have asked for anything more. I will miss that for the rest of my life.

And then the gratitude. When the chips were really down, my mom was so grateful that I was there for her. If I just got her a glass of water, I could see it in her eyes. Once I heard her talking on the phone to one of her sisters. She said, "I couldn't ask for better care. If I so much as cough he is standing over me." That just made my heart leap. My mom was a single mom who did it all for us, and even if it were only one of her children, she seemed so pleased that I was trying to give back. It always kind of surprised my mom that a man could be tender. She trusted me so much and that meant the world to me.

Comment by M Adams on January 1, 2019 at 12:24am

In my case the gift was being able to help my mom and to be with her.  Despite her health challenges there was a lot of joy in our relationship, joy that is gone from the house now.  Very empty here without her spirit of celebration and gratitude.  I’m realizing that being there for her death, holding her hand as she died, was not as important to me as being there in the years before when we were so close and shared so much.  I am grateful to have been there at the end, and it was my honour and responsibility, but it was also traumatic, a trauma that those who choose not to help are spared.  

My mom and I played scrabble together a lot — since her death I have not played. Tonight, though, thought I would try to play with my brother as a sort of ritual, and found the board mysteriously broken.  Not a big deal but brought tears.  Never know what will do that these days.

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 31, 2018 at 8:51pm

Being my mom's caretaker was the greatest blessing of my life, but it has some with a cost. I wouldn't trade with my brother's and sister in anyway shape or form. When they remember mom, I'm not sure what they remember. I mean, they have memories, but not like what I have. I could not have gotten more from my relationship with my mom, and I was fortunate enough to be with her until her dying breath, but that doesn't make it any easier. It's not easy for any of us. Far from it.

Comment by SelV on December 31, 2018 at 8:07pm

Indeed Brett, sadness personifies us. 

My five siblings have returned to their more or less 'normal' life with their spouses, children or pets and work, social life. Mum was never a long term responsibility for them. I cannot be angry with my siblings or envy them at all. I am happy for them...at least they do not have to wallow in the grief for this long. How long for me...I don't know. Let nature takes it course.

 

Members (730)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"evry now agan i still loss my way i do"
Thursday
Kim Darichuk is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 11
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.  God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
Sep 11
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan, Thanks so very much for your supportive letter. Sorry i didn't see it before. I replied to it just now, Sending you love and good wishes."
Sep 10
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
Sep 10
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her.  Like yesterday, I found a small  3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
Sep 9
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me. Joe,  So true.  That's exactly why I post here too.  I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone.  That consoles…"
Sep 9
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello All, I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
Sep 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all.  Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
Sep 9
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Once again I want to Thank You for sharing you thoughts with us. You put into words the things I don't know how to express."
Sep 9
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
Sep 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T,   I saw your post late late last night.  I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing.  After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
Sep 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.  Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
Sep 8
Profile IconBev R, Kelly Darnell and Wil McGregor joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 8
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, We are blessed to have this wonderful group to come to and share our grief."
Sep 8
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thinking of you John T.  I understand.  "
Sep 7
John T. replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"5 years since my wife died suddenly of heart failure right in front of me.  The time since that day has been just awful and when I reached this anniversary, I just couldn't believe it.  All I think about is all the years ahead without…"
Sep 7
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the death of my wife.  I spent the day unable to believe it has been 5 years but somewhat surprised at how well I handled the day.  Today I have kept having outbursts of crying and overwhelming memories…"
Sep 7
Emmyk replied to Amy R's discussion So many questions in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"That is horrific for you. Im so sorry. Just know yoy aren't alone. Know we dont think you are some kind of monster and know that we validate what you guys had and the love that existed there. Try not to fixate on the particulars that you have…"
Sep 4
Joe Kelly left a comment for Maria
"Maria, The only comfort I can possibly provide is that your mother and father are blissfully reunited eternally in spirit.  I lost my wife to cancer over 18 months ago.  We were together since age 16 and would had celebrated our 50th…"
Sep 3

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service