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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 731
Latest Activity: Aug 17

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New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by Daylight on December 15, 2018 at 8:48pm
Hi, Theresa, it is always very hard. I think every season is difficult. After Christmas, here it will be summer. Although summer is a beautiful season, I will feel sad because my mom died in January. Plus, the weather gets extremely hot, and sometimes that is overwhelming. I think every season without our moms is worse than they really are.
Comment by Brett Bowman on December 15, 2018 at 8:38pm

I know it will be hard, Theresa.

Comment by Theresa on December 15, 2018 at 8:14pm
Well as I sit here in bed at like 930 tomorrow is the yearly mass I hate to say yearly but it’s the third year for my mother and I have a mass said every year for her. I know I’ll be sitting in church and when they say this mass is being said for my mom I’m going to cry
I can’t get away from Christmas with my job it’s all about Christmas people buying jewelry for their significant other or for their children or whatever I am really tired tired of it all. I find myself just going through the motions every day
Once Christmas is over I’m sure winter will kick in here I hate it I don’t like snow I’m a summer person
I’m sorry to say I find no joy and the holidays without my mom
Comment by Brett Bowman on December 15, 2018 at 12:27pm

What's hard is that, even if we don't celebrate it, the rest of the world will. I can't get away from the Christmas music and decorations. That's okay. The world shouldn't stop celebrating Christmas just because it makes me sad. Life goes on.

I realize that everyone dies and that God doesn't have it in for me, but of course it all seems unfair. It's just too great of a loss.

Comment by Daylight on December 15, 2018 at 6:07am
Brett, praying is all we have now. I hope it can helps us cope better. I've always loved Christmas but this year I don't feel like celebrating it. I haven't decorated my house, and I haven't got a Christmas tree. I just can't. It doesn't feel right. Instead, I keep listening my mom 's voice telling me what we are going to eat, what we are going to shop, etc. I'm definitely not in the mood for celebrating. This year Christmas feel like a nightmare. I feel the void, and I feel can't have a happy time without my mom because it feels unfair and wrong. I hope this feeling will go away someday. I keep all of us in my prayers.
Comment by Brett Bowman on December 14, 2018 at 11:37pm

Yes, it's true that I was blessed to take care of my mom, but that only makes saying goodbye harder. Losing our moms is never easy for anyone, but for some of us who find our way here, our moms may have been the center of our lives. That's how it was for me. And almost as soon as she died, those Christmas decorations looked very different. They looked cold, and very old. They reminded me of Christmases that had passed instead of Christmas present.This time of year reminds me of so many things, and it's like if I close my eyes, it's almost like I'm back there, but I'm not. I'm here.

There is always hope that tomorrow will lead me one step closer to the light at the end of the tunnel. That happiness in this life is still possible. That's my hope.

I am sure that I am not the only person here who feels this way. When my mom died I entered a dark period in my life, and I am still there. Deserved or not, I am still there. I pray a lot. I know I'm going to wake up in the morning and the first thought I'm going to have his, "Mom's not here anymore." It's time to move past this. It's not as easy as just knowing that.

I won't give up. I'll keep praying and keep hoping.

Comment by SelV on December 14, 2018 at 10:24pm

Dear Brett,

You and I

Lived with our mothers or

They lived with us

For a long long time

For better, for worse

In sickness and in health

Until Mr D parted them from us!

You and I

Are trying to cope with the trauma of

Watching our mothers taking their last breath

Are trying to cope with the grief of

Losing the very most important person in our lives!

You and I

Are the little girl or little boy

Still yearning for the love and care

That Mama showered us!

The ‘umbilical cord’ is still attached.

Maybe what we need is

Someone or anyone

In the same boat as us

Who can give us their time

To bare our souls completely

To cry our hearts out

And talk about our Mama

No advising, No judging

Just listening.

You are a very good son

Who has given your mother

The loving tender care

None of your siblings 

Had that opportunity

It is a blessing...

It is divine love!

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 14, 2018 at 7:44pm

Thanks, SelV. I wish there was something I could say something to make you feel better. I wish there was something you could say to make me feel better.

Comment by SelV on December 14, 2018 at 4:02pm

Dear Mother,

On 15 March 2018

You departed this world.

Watching you take the last breath

Cremating your body thereafter

Collecting your ashes and

Scattering them into the sea

Have broken me...totally!

Having nurtured me with love and care

Unconditionally...

For more than half a century

Your absence makes me drown

In an ocean of tears...

You mattered most to me

But now nothing matters...as much!

Waiting patiently

To complete my sojurn on Earth

Embrace eternal sleep

To return home to you, Ma!

Your soulmate loving daughter

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 13, 2018 at 1:05pm

Pamela, you are grieving for your mother. You may not be able to see it but I can. My father was horrible. I did not grieve his death. I barely gave it a second thought. You are grieving your mom, and you are grieving the way things were. The advice I would give you is this... there is no way to change the past. If you can, wish her peace. Talk out loud to her. Tell her what you feel. Tell her that you love her anyway, and wish her peace. It's not really about forgiveness. It's about letting go and finding peace.

You had a horrible experience. To lose them both in nearly a weeks time would be incredibly traumatic. We are always here if we can help you.

 

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