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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 731
Latest Activity: Oct 8, 2019

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New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12, 2019.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11, 2019.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by SelV on December 14, 2018 at 4:02pm

Dear Mother,

On 15 March 2018

You departed this world.

Watching you take the last breath

Cremating your body thereafter

Collecting your ashes and

Scattering them into the sea

Have broken me...totally!

Having nurtured me with love and care

Unconditionally...

For more than half a century

Your absence makes me drown

In an ocean of tears...

You mattered most to me

But now nothing matters...as much!

Waiting patiently

To complete my sojurn on Earth

Embrace eternal sleep

To return home to you, Ma!

Your soulmate loving daughter

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 13, 2018 at 1:05pm

Pamela, you are grieving for your mother. You may not be able to see it but I can. My father was horrible. I did not grieve his death. I barely gave it a second thought. You are grieving your mom, and you are grieving the way things were. The advice I would give you is this... there is no way to change the past. If you can, wish her peace. Talk out loud to her. Tell her what you feel. Tell her that you love her anyway, and wish her peace. It's not really about forgiveness. It's about letting go and finding peace.

You had a horrible experience. To lose them both in nearly a weeks time would be incredibly traumatic. We are always here if we can help you.

Comment by Pamela philipp on December 13, 2018 at 10:13am

I lost my mother on 9-6-15 eight days before I lost my husband on 9-14-15 and I feel horrible because I am struggling with how I am grieving for my mother because we had a very strained relationship because my mother was an alcoholic all her life and was physically and emotionally abusive when I was growing up I also know that she lied to me about who my father is and she never told me the truth and when she passed away I felt anger because of how she left things and now I feel like I don't belong and I cant find forgiveness for her I loved my mother and I do miss her but still feel horrible because I haven't grieved for her I feel  like there is something wrong with me I am so broken losing my husband but losing my mother has left me feeling lost can someone please give me advice on what to do  

Comment by Daylight on December 12, 2018 at 9:42pm
Hi Avi, it would be nice to have a friend. The time gap is big but we can agree on a time to talk. Keeping busy also functions for me. Anyways, as soon as I have free time the thoughts and feelings came back and grief hits so hard. I wish you have a nice day.
Comment by Daylight on December 12, 2018 at 9:37pm
M Adams , I hope this feeling of desolation lessens in time. It is an extremely hard process. Unbearable at times. I hope you are doing well.
Comment by Avi on December 12, 2018 at 9:23pm

Hi Daylight

India is 8.30 hours ahead of Argentina. We can talk at your early morning whenever you want. 

Feeling of desolation still exists for me but I try to be strong and do things (work, travel, eating etc) with sincerity. 

Comment by M Adams on December 12, 2018 at 8:27pm

Agreed, Daylight.  I often think about how appalled my mom and my husband would be by my current state.  But I would say that the feeling of total desolation will change, based on my experience with my husband’s death, thirty months ago.  In that case I could see improvement in my functionality, energy, etc., particularly last summer, when I started having more positive memories of my life with my husband, instead of constant painful and traumatic feelings of loss, and more energy for life — then my mother, who had been improving, suddenly died, and I have kind of gone backwards since then.  So I think there is for most people a process.

Comment by Daylight on December 12, 2018 at 3:59pm
I just wonder if these feelings of complete desolation will ever end. We have to remain strong. I think that is what our moms would have wanted for us.
Comment by Brett Bowman on December 12, 2018 at 2:43pm

You sound just like me. Lost at a mall. Waiting outside of my school for my mom to come pick me up. Expecting her to come home from a trip. Mom had been there for me my whole entire life. She never let me down.

We can't have that back. This is one set of circumstances that my mom can't overcome. Hopefully, if I can keep standing up, eventually I will be able to stand on my own two feet. And I'll tell you, the easy thing to do would be to let the grief overtake you, to just roll up in a little ball and give up. It even sounds good, but life doesn't allow that. We have to stand up. We have to keep moving. Our sanity depends on it.

Comment by Daylight on December 12, 2018 at 1:43pm
Sorry for The grammar mistakes. I'm writing from my smartphone.
 

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Missing my Son or Daughter

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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I have seven tattoos one for each year Julian has been gone. It is my way of honoring him  People make fun of me saying I am too old (71) to have them. Glad to hear I am not the only one still honoring their spouse after death."
Jan 13
Serenity replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
"Wow..you suicide yourself there us no place for you in heaven. You will find yourself again and life will go on without your dearly departed. Learn to love yourself find what you like to do there has to something. Think of it like this he…"
Jan 12
Serenity replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"It is a tradgedy to lose a loved one. But it does get better. Not everyday will be the same some days burn to the core more than others. Find a hobby or volunteer or help someone basically find something to do to ease the monotony of the day. In…"
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Linda.  It's beautiful for you to had done that.  I have tattoo of our names in a heart.  I wear two sets of our wedding bands on both pinkys and ring fingers.  We're still married and always will be forever.…"
Jan 12
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful post. I have a tattoo on my shoulder of both our hands on our wedding day. I added my own words. God be with you."
Jan 12
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Rick Rilloraza left a comment for morgan
"Yes I still miss her terribly.  I am still sad and angry.  I was left with two boys ages 12 and 8 at that time.  What kept me going was making sure they were provided for and raised well.  I still have full on bawls when the…"
Jan 11
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Reliving two years ago.  Ten days till She took Her last exhaling breath in my arms.  She went knowing that we will be together forever and it can't come soon enough for me. Till then:"
Jan 11
morgan left a comment for Rick Rilloraza
"Rick, I am curious because I am within a week of being a widow of seven years how you are doing it allotter eight years?  Today, and more often lately (lets say for about the past six months) I have become more angry and more hateful of having…"
Jan 9

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