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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Latest Activity: May 14

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Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

I miss my Mom 4 Replies

Started by Sun. Last reply by Michael Thompson Oct 28, 2018.

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Comment by SelV on December 14, 2018 at 10:24pm

Dear Brett,

You and I

Lived with our mothers or

They lived with us

For a long long time

For better, for worse

In sickness and in health

Until Mr D parted them from us!

You and I

Are trying to cope with the trauma of

Watching our mothers taking their last breath

Are trying to cope with the grief of

Losing the very most important person in our lives!

You and I

Are the little girl or little boy

Still yearning for the love and care

That Mama showered us!

The ‘umbilical cord’ is still attached.

Maybe what we need is

Someone or anyone

In the same boat as us

Who can give us their time

To bare our souls completely

To cry our hearts out

And talk about our Mama

No advising, No judging

Just listening.

You are a very good son

Who has given your mother

The loving tender care

None of your siblings 

Had that opportunity

It is a blessing...

It is divine love!

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 14, 2018 at 7:44pm

Thanks, SelV. I wish there was something I could say something to make you feel better. I wish there was something you could say to make me feel better.

Comment by SelV on December 14, 2018 at 4:02pm

Dear Mother,

On 15 March 2018

You departed this world.

Watching you take the last breath

Cremating your body thereafter

Collecting your ashes and

Scattering them into the sea

Have broken me...totally!

Having nurtured me with love and care

Unconditionally...

For more than half a century

Your absence makes me drown

In an ocean of tears...

You mattered most to me

But now nothing matters...as much!

Waiting patiently

To complete my sojurn on Earth

Embrace eternal sleep

To return home to you, Ma!

Your soulmate loving daughter

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 13, 2018 at 1:05pm

Pamela, you are grieving for your mother. You may not be able to see it but I can. My father was horrible. I did not grieve his death. I barely gave it a second thought. You are grieving your mom, and you are grieving the way things were. The advice I would give you is this... there is no way to change the past. If you can, wish her peace. Talk out loud to her. Tell her what you feel. Tell her that you love her anyway, and wish her peace. It's not really about forgiveness. It's about letting go and finding peace.

You had a horrible experience. To lose them both in nearly a weeks time would be incredibly traumatic. We are always here if we can help you.

Comment by Pamela philipp on December 13, 2018 at 10:13am

I lost my mother on 9-6-15 eight days before I lost my husband on 9-14-15 and I feel horrible because I am struggling with how I am grieving for my mother because we had a very strained relationship because my mother was an alcoholic all her life and was physically and emotionally abusive when I was growing up I also know that she lied to me about who my father is and she never told me the truth and when she passed away I felt anger because of how she left things and now I feel like I don't belong and I cant find forgiveness for her I loved my mother and I do miss her but still feel horrible because I haven't grieved for her I feel  like there is something wrong with me I am so broken losing my husband but losing my mother has left me feeling lost can someone please give me advice on what to do  

Comment by Daylight on December 12, 2018 at 9:42pm
Hi Avi, it would be nice to have a friend. The time gap is big but we can agree on a time to talk. Keeping busy also functions for me. Anyways, as soon as I have free time the thoughts and feelings came back and grief hits so hard. I wish you have a nice day.
Comment by Daylight on December 12, 2018 at 9:37pm
M Adams , I hope this feeling of desolation lessens in time. It is an extremely hard process. Unbearable at times. I hope you are doing well.
Comment by Avi on December 12, 2018 at 9:23pm

Hi Daylight

India is 8.30 hours ahead of Argentina. We can talk at your early morning whenever you want. 

Feeling of desolation still exists for me but I try to be strong and do things (work, travel, eating etc) with sincerity. 

Comment by M Adams on December 12, 2018 at 8:27pm

Agreed, Daylight.  I often think about how appalled my mom and my husband would be by my current state.  But I would say that the feeling of total desolation will change, based on my experience with my husband’s death, thirty months ago.  In that case I could see improvement in my functionality, energy, etc., particularly last summer, when I started having more positive memories of my life with my husband, instead of constant painful and traumatic feelings of loss, and more energy for life — then my mother, who had been improving, suddenly died, and I have kind of gone backwards since then.  So I think there is for most people a process.

Comment by Daylight on December 12, 2018 at 3:59pm
I just wonder if these feelings of complete desolation will ever end. We have to remain strong. I think that is what our moms would have wanted for us.
 

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dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
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Jazi replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"You are a good person. I'm sorry you are gong through this."
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dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
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New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood

Hi everyone, I am new to the group, but not to loss. Thanks for adding me.I wanted to share an essay I wrote, "Welcome to the Freak Show: Becoming an Orphan in My 20s", that is in the New York Times today. Even though all of our experiences with grief are unique, I hope it resonates in some way.Best, KelliSee More
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