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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

I miss my Mom 4 Replies

Started by Sun. Last reply by Michael Thompson Oct 28, 2018.

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Comment by Avi on October 14, 2018 at 10:06am

Lia, your post made me cry because I also feel similar. 

I wish you all strength 

Comment by Brett Bowman on October 12, 2018 at 11:48am

Lia, a few lost minutes cannot compete with a lifetime of love that you shared with your mom.

Comment by Lia Lynch on October 12, 2018 at 8:36am

Hi there.  Brett, you were (are) totally right -- I was and think I still am in shock. There was so much to do, and with my kid to take care of, I wasn't processing. At all.

Still not. I didn't get to say goodbye.  She was in a hospice, alone, when she died. She told me the day before that she was going to die soon, and I went in to work to take off, and she died the next morning before I could get there to spend the day.  I'd spoken to her clinician just four days before her death to ask how long, and he'd said "weeks to low months" but he was wrong.  No one really knew -- she'd only been diagnosed less than four weeks prior, first diagnosis and the cancer was everywhere. So no one knew how it would go, just that treatment was not really an option, even had she wanted it.  Which she did not.

Now her ashes are here and I am just constantly saying I'm sorry to them. And my poor daughter, who always had her grandma here after school, comes home and is alone until I arrive. It's not long, but still... my mom helped me raise her for the past eight years. And I am trying to hold it together for my kid, but in doing so I am just pushing things away, it makes it worse when it pops back up.

Comment by M Adams on October 11, 2018 at 1:13pm

As Brett suggests, you sure can be griefstricken without feelings of guilt -- for me guilt doesn't seem relevant to my deep sadness about losing my mother.  It's more a combination of loneliness, shock, emptiness, disappointment (because she'd come through so much and was really improving, then suddenly collapsed), and a kind of futile anger at all the suffering she so patiently endured.  I find myself longing to look at photographs of her, but when I do I start crying and have to put them away.  I keep thinking 'I must tell Mom about this' and then remembering I can't.  

Comment by BLUEBELL on October 11, 2018 at 8:38am

Seems like we all have our regrets and sadness that we live with every day. But I have noticed for myself that though I still have them, they have softened over time.

Bluebell

On a different subject I want to celebrate this morning of being able to sit comfortably on my bum. Physical Therapy has changed his plan of exercise and it is working after only having 2 sessions!

Comment by Theresa on October 11, 2018 at 5:55am

Brett, me too, the only guilt I have is if I did not stop at her house for three minutes, I would have been there, but I was not.

I say it everyday why did I do that...

Comment by Virginia G on October 11, 2018 at 12:32am

Avi, what is what’s app?  I don’t have a smart phone.

Comment by Virginia G on October 11, 2018 at 12:29am

The pain seems to get worse everyday.  I guess the numbness is starting to wear off.  I need God to listen to me.  I can’t live like this.

Comment by BLUEBELL on October 10, 2018 at 2:01pm

Me too Brett

Comment by Brett Bowman on October 10, 2018 at 11:24am

Even if I didn't have guilt, I would still miss my mom very badly.

 

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dream moon JO B commented on M Adams's blog post Who copes best with loss? Men or women?
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"Thank you for such a wonderful, in depth and reflective post. It sounds like your Mom really had the devotion and love she richly deserved from you. As you said. The Doctors could have done a lot more. It was if they didn't want involved unless…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Friend's, Big Deal, It's St. Patrick's Day. All is does to me is relieve my Husband's death. In 2013 he passed away 2 months after St. Patrick's Day. We did go out to dinner together put he was in so much pain we had…"
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Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"That you all for your kind compassion.  Just plain hell today as usual.  Tears at times and don't know when or what will trigger them.  The only time I venture out is my daily visit to the cemetery (closest I can be to Her…"
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Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Be thou my vision - (with lyrics)

"dont no why but it  it so sothin relzinin i do"
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Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, So sorry to hear that you are having an extraordinarily bad day... This is the life for us after we are left here in this world without the love of our life beside us."
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