I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

I miss my Mom 4 Replies

Started by Sun. Last reply by Michael Thompson Oct 28, 2018.

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Comment by BLUEBELL on October 9, 2018 at 11:23pm

This anxiety is hard to get through sometimes. I am having a surge of adrenaline right now with a pounding heart and an unnamed fear. I have a book called "Jesus Calling". This would be a good time to read it. I also am going to text my brother and shoot the breeze. I am going to beat this and not let it get the best of me.


Comment by Brett Bowman on October 9, 2018 at 10:33am

Nothing in this world wrong with going to church. It can only help. Most churches have speakers in the lobby for people who need to walk around or stand.

I would also advise joining a group at church. There are a lot of choices. I believe that God reaches us through other people, and church is a great place to find those folks.

Comment by Theresa on October 9, 2018 at 5:57am

Bluebell, I wake up anxious all the time, its awful and yes you should go to church because only God sees deep into our soul, when I go on Fridays for my hour with the Blessed Sacrament, Adoration its called, it is so peaceful.

Comment by BLUEBELL on October 8, 2018 at 8:47am

It is morning and I feel like crying. I miss the things I used to do with Mom when she woke up. Now all I have are the cats and my dog to care for and keep me company. It just seems like I should be moving on faster than I am and developing a life without her. But there is a hole in my life that I can not seem to fill. I still have so many days where I just feel lost and anxious. I try reaching out to those around me to help fill the void. Sometimes it helps me. But who the hell wants to hear from me at 5 in the morning when I wake up anxious. 

I am trying to develop a closer relationship with God because I think it will help. But it is slow going. A couple of times I have been invited to attend church with a neighbor. I want to go, but so much of the time it hurts my bum to sit for any length of time, even if I have a cushion to sit on. Maybe I should give it a try and if I can not tolerate it, I can go stand in the lobby.



Comment by Theresa on October 7, 2018 at 6:31am

Brett. yeesh you are right, I can't everyone how many days it just comes across me like a flash and I cry, but not to discourage anyone my mom still cried 45 years after her mom's death, everytime we went to the cemmetary, she would put her hand on the grave stone and say mom, you worked so hard your life and she would have tears in her eyes, of course my mom was the last of 11 children.  There are no siblings left after my mom passed her last brother passed at 97

Christmas is not what I am looking forward to, but I remember through all the heartache my mom had she still put up the wreaths and window lights, Brett her mom died on Christmas eve also and my dad on December 14th.  So December for me is i month I can do without, my dad on Dec 14, my mom on Dec 19, and grandmom on Dec 24.

Comment by Brett Bowman on October 7, 2018 at 2:05am

Virginia, I feel the same way, but we are not going to get our wish. There are lots of other folks who are alive, and my hope is to share my life with one of them. But right now that seems about as likely as getting over my mom.

Comment by Virginia G on October 7, 2018 at 1:30am

i want my Mom or nothing

Comment by Virginia G on October 7, 2018 at 1:04am

How have you all dealt with your birthdays

Comment by Virginia G on October 7, 2018 at 1:03am


i don’t know how to skype

Comment by Brett Bowman on October 7, 2018 at 12:46am

Well, we are a sad group. For those of us who have been posting here for a while it may be especially tough because we hoped that time would help us heal. Maybe it will, but apparently it's going to take a lot longer than we knew.

There is so much more to this than missing our moms, though that is sure the worst part. It's horrible. I feel for all of you guys. Bluebell, what you have gone through since your mom died is horrible, and now you have to worry about your own health. A broken heart hurts enough without having physical pain as well. Lord knows, I dread the holidays, too. I lost my mom on Christmas Eve, and it was Thanksgiving Day when I realized, without question, that she would die soon.

Theresa, there is something unsaid but I can see it. Your husband doesn't understand what you are going through. I'm not married but I know that feeling. And I bet that you never feel quite as alone as when you miss your mom the most, and he just doesn't understand. To understand what you feel, he would have to have his heart ripped out. We can't just can't, "Get over it". We can't just pull ourselves up by our boot straps. It doesn't work that way. And like me, you focus all of your love on a sweet dog because, like our moms, they love us unconditionally. And not a day goes by when I don't look at my little dog and think, "You're going to leave me, too. You don't want to, but you have to."

Avi, I do feel like this is my karma. That scares me. People tell me that God doesn't want me to be unhappy. I would tell them the same thing. That's just hard to believe when you're the one that it's happening to.

You are all in my prayers. Virginia, I can't believe that this is as bad as prison. If I were in prison, and my mom was still alive, she would come visit me, but I can't imagine the guilt I would feel when I saw her, for doing whatever I did that put me there. I feel guilty enough as it is. Besides, I'm too pretty to go to jail. I don't want a dadgum boyfriend.


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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, So sorry to hear about your day. My doctor was the same way with me when I had a breakdown, he could have cared less. Thank God for our friends here who truly understand."
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Be thou my vision - (with lyrics)

"dont no why but it  it so sothin relzinin i do"
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"Joe, So sorry to hear that you are having an extraordinarily bad day... This is the life for us after we are left here in this world without the love of our life beside us."

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