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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29.

I miss my Mom 4 Replies

Started by Sun. Last reply by Michael Thompson Oct 28.

I am lost without her! (MOM) 9 Replies

Started by DeeDee. Last reply by DeeDee Jul 26.

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Comment by Theresa on July 14, 2018 at 5:02am

Hi everyone, I have been reading, going through a tough time with my friend her dog is getting ready to go to the rainbow bridge and that set me into anxiety.  My stomach is flaring up no matter what I eat. 

I started to think about my mom and I cry. I'm tired.

Comment by Brett Bowman on July 12, 2018 at 10:52pm

Virginia, my dad was horrible. My mom and my brothers and sister moved to NC where mom had family. I was six. We found a little house to rent. We had left all of our furniture at our house in Ky. I remember the day the moving truck came to our new house. There was nothing in it except for a couple of small things. My dad had sold it all and kept the money. My mom just broke down and cried.

I never saw him again but oddly enough when he was dying the hospital somehow found me. He was on life support. They needed permission to take him off of it when the time came. I gave it. He rallied for a day or two. He was taken off of life support. I actually called him. I said, "Dad, this is your son, Brett." He said, "What do you want? I said, "I don't know dad. It's been 40 years. Just thought I would check in."

What a tool. But my mom more than made up for it.

Comment by Brett Bowman on July 12, 2018 at 10:44pm

Bluebell, I do not know if you have the same symptoms that I did. It was scary. I was in my shower one day. I was looking at my bottle of shampoo and I couldn't remember what to do with it. And then when I reached for it, it was like my arm was moving in slow motion. In the ER the doctor was explaining to my mom that I had bleeding in my brain. That's why I had been in the hospital. My mom asked him how we would know if it had stopped. He shrugged and said, "He will probably go into a coma." I was sitting right there. I wasn't a zombie. I just felt like one. Days went by with me wondering if the bleeding had stopped. Obviously it did, but I have never been in a mental fog like that. It was scary.

Virginia, tonight at church my prayer group gave you a good praying. And don't even think about telling me that you don't deserve it.

Comment by Virginia G on July 12, 2018 at 3:42pm

Pamela,

Those are hurtful things you had to deal with.  I am so fortunate that drinking was never a frequent activity with most of my family.  The only thing I can say is this.  I am the one feeling guilty, desperately hoping my Mom and God can forgive all the things I did wrong.  I’m sure your Mom is sorry for what she caused you and is hoping for your forgiveness.

Comment by BLUEBELL on July 12, 2018 at 3:32pm

Thank you Brett. It is very scary. What I do not like the most is the lack of motivation and being so easily fatigued. I am also frustrated with the lack of support from the Doctors. I keep asking it it would be dangerous to increase a certain medication from 5 mgs to 10 mgs. I am getting no straight answers how much the % of a bleed risk would increase and I am being left to make the decision myself. I feel abandoned.

Bluebell

Comment by Virginia G on July 12, 2018 at 3:25pm

Brett, the dr may realize that he didn’t tell me what was going on in the hospital and that’s why I have all the questions.  I blame myself for getting upset with him, then not seeking him out but he might feel responsible. I don’t know.

I can’t believe your Dad.  Good thing your Mom made up for it.  You turned out great without him.

Comment by Pamela philipp on July 12, 2018 at 3:20pm

Virginia yes I will tell you what she lied about who my father is my mother told me the man who is on my birth certificate was my father but he told me I was not his daughter and I look like my so called step father who raised me since I was a baby then my mother told me she met my step dad in the summer of 61 I was born in spring of 62 then and until she died she insisted the man on my birth certificate was my father she was worried how people would look at her because she lied about my brother who we found out she had an affair and he has a different dad also she was a mean alcoholic and was extremely abusive to us if I ever get the money to pay for a full sibling test I will finally get the peace of mind of the answer that I asked her for no begged her to tell me the truth and she would not everyone in my family believes my step dad is my father unfortunately both possible dads have passed away many years ago sorry to babble on I just wanted to try to explain better thanks

Comment by Virginia G on July 12, 2018 at 3:11pm

Bluebell,

Are you having more symptoms to make you think this?  Or is it from the anxiety of the one you had?  Did they say how long it would take for it to resolve?  

Comment by Brett Bowman on July 12, 2018 at 3:04pm

Bluebell, I have experienced this and it was the scariest time in my life. It was caused by a concussion. After leaving the hospital I had lingering issues. I had trouble putting two and two together. I went back to the ER twice. The consensus was that I may still have bleeding. I didn't understand why they just wouldn't give me another scan to see for themselves. I just had to wait. It seemed to me that the decision was that either I would get better or I wouldn't. I felt very helpless.

You are in my prayers. And we are always here if you ever feel scared. Stay strong my friend.

Comment by BLUEBELL on July 12, 2018 at 2:26pm

I am asking for your prayers please. I am very afraid of having another bleed in my brain. I am so depressed and so very easily irritated, that it is hard to live with myself. I am not feeling positive about my future. I know this is not related to the loss of my Mom, but since you are all such supportive people, I thought you might be willing to help me.

Bluebell

 

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Billy Jo Colt commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Hi Pamela, I can understand your situation as you aretorn between two worlds. Your daughter in her own way is trying to help you with your grieving process. She thinks that her way is the only way through your grief. It is also a confrontation you…"
1 hour ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Brett Your words give me hope that I will be with my mom someday. This is enough motivation to live.  Virginia, sometimes we do feel that God has done lot of injustice to us but if you look around there are people who suffer lot more than…"
2 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, do you think I feel any joy right now? I don't. But I think about how much my mom loved me and how much it would hurt her if i harmed myself. She could not have led a happy life if she knew that was in my future. She would have held…"
5 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird,   I always feel a spiritual kinship with what you write.  You were the first person here who when I started reading who was honest and told it like it was.  That hasn't changed and I truly believe that if anyone outside…"
7 hours ago
morgan commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Pamela, I may not be the best person to respond because U can get kind of feisty `but i am going to anyhow.  I will be at six years in January.  I have pictures of my husband all over my house.  I am still slowly going through boxes I…"
9 hours ago
Virginia G posted a discussion

What’s the point

Whats the point of living if there’s no happiness?  If you don’t care about anything except being with the person you lost...if everything is meaningless...if you can’t stand the pain or the numbness...if you don’t belong anywhere..if everything feels wrong...if you have no idea what to do about it...if you can’t get through the daySee More
10 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There’s no joy without her and I wouldn’t want any. its the only answer"
10 hours ago
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

I need advice

I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…See More
14 hours ago
Denise Lavoie left a comment for Pamela philipp
"Hi everyone Scotishbrat here. We had our 1st snowfall Thursday. If Ron was here we would be out making a snowman laughing and throwing snowballs at each other.We did everything together.When he passedl felt so lost I still do its like half of me is…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe & Bluebird, Thanks for sharing you thoughts mine are exactly the same. I hate that I have to go on in this world. I have friends that our dying of cancer, I would trade places with them if I could. To endure my feelings I drink at least 6…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, you so often end your posts with something ominous. You are trying to say something and it is coming across loud and clear. Don't wish yourself dead. Try to live while you're alive. Find joy where you can. Never give up."
Saturday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Some songs have popped into my head for no reason but that are appropriate.  I don’t even listen to the radio anymore so it’s not like I heard them recently.  I wasn’t trying to think of songs either.  First it was I…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I love the Doors. Jim Morrison is just the coolest. And I love that song. It's about feeling alone in a crowd. I can relate. Virginia, why would God tell you that you deserve to be alone? I think it is quite the opposite. You are telling…"
Saturday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am realizing the only people that truly love me are my family. So how am I expected to live without them?"
Saturday
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"I agree, that is a big step. You should be proud of yourself for being able to take that step. ((((Hugs))))"
Saturday
Fran left a comment for Denise Lavoie
"Hello Scottishbrat. I just passed the 4 year mark of losing my husband. With him I felt complete. Now I just seem to be in limbo. I don't remember what  hobbies I used to enjoy. My life had been taking care of him and the 2 wonderful…"
Friday
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi my name is scotishbrat this will be my 3rd holiday season with out my love.It is so hard to do anything.l have crying spells that are so intense it feels like l am going to die.Once l stary it could go on for hours and then l feel completely…"
Friday
Kristen Harlow replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"Such a good question. No, probably not. I've finally come to the place where I have accepted that I have to accept it's over. That feels like a big step."
Friday
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"That is a lot of shit to deal with, all at once. It's good your sister is ok now.  If the man who you feel is your best friend and the love of your life were to come back now, do you think you would be ready to be with him now?"
Friday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, As usual, I identify so much with your post.  As you said, by burying our soulmates we buried ourselves. Why can't people understand that? If I had a child with my husband, I would feel some pull to live for that child. I felt that…"
Friday

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