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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 719
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

Not only do I miss her, feel like I lost my purpose. Why go on? 7 Replies

Started by Jennifer Nuss. Last reply by Michael Thompson May 29.

I am lost without her! (MOM) 7 Replies

Started by DeeDee. Last reply by Brett Bowman May 7.

I TERRIBLY MISS MOMMY! 2 Replies

Started by Edger. Last reply by Jennifer Nuss Feb 23.

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Comment by Avi yesterday

Hi All, 

Hope every one is doing fine. Last week my father got an infection and was hospitalized so could not follow much here. Now he is better and recovering. 

Virginia, you seem to be totally engrossed in the guilt which I can understand as I feel the same way. Today I saw one community of Gall Bladder Cancer survivor (same disease which my mom had) and I came to know that my mother's cancer was also treatable to some extent and there are people who have successfully got out of this. I was told by my oncologist in India that it was not treatable as it was stage IV. 

This makes me feel devastated as I feel that more research would have helped her. 

Virginia, you mention that you expect forgiveness from God and your mother. I guess they already forgive you, the issue is that we need to forgive ourselves. 

Comment by Virginia G yesterday

My boyfriend finally gave up.  I don’t blame him at all.

And Brett I will tell you I don’t deserve the prayers, pray for my Mom please.

Comment by Virginia G yesterday

So the dr talked to my therapist and he told her the same things he told me.  I had asked her to try to get more answers.  I actually feel worse because I had someone ask some doctors about using ventilators.  The oncologist told us if there is cancer in the lungs someone won’t get off a ventilator.  That is why I didn’t want her on one.  Other doctors say that’s not necessarily true.  Of course, they didn’t see my Moms records and the ICU dr says she wouldn’t have come off it, however I am left wondering again.  I don’t trust doctors.  I don’t know why I didn’t make them do something.   It’s all so so horrible.

Comment by Brett Bowman on Saturday

Theresa, since talking to you last I have been searching for a natural solution to your issue. There are new supplements since I went through this about a year and a half ago, but my best advice would be to talk to your doctor about trying a new anti-depressant.

Comment by Theresa on Saturday

Hi everyone, I have been reading, going through a tough time with my friend her dog is getting ready to go to the rainbow bridge and that set me into anxiety.  My stomach is flaring up no matter what I eat. 

I started to think about my mom and I cry. I'm tired.

Comment by Brett Bowman on Friday

Virginia, my dad was horrible. My mom and my brothers and sister moved to NC where mom had family. I was six. We found a little house to rent. We had left all of our furniture at our house in Ky. I remember the day the moving truck came to our new house. There was nothing in it except for a couple of small things. My dad had sold it all and kept the money. My mom just broke down and cried.

I never saw him again but oddly enough when he was dying the hospital somehow found me. He was on life support. They needed permission to take him off of it when the time came. I gave it. He rallied for a day or two. He was taken off of life support. I actually called him. I said, "Dad, this is your son, Brett." He said, "What do you want? I said, "I don't know dad. It's been 40 years. Just thought I would check in."

What a tool. But my mom more than made up for it.

Comment by Brett Bowman on Friday

Bluebell, I do not know if you have the same symptoms that I did. It was scary. I was in my shower one day. I was looking at my bottle of shampoo and I couldn't remember what to do with it. And then when I reached for it, it was like my arm was moving in slow motion. In the ER the doctor was explaining to my mom that I had bleeding in my brain. That's why I had been in the hospital. My mom asked him how we would know if it had stopped. He shrugged and said, "He will probably go into a coma." I was sitting right there. I wasn't a zombie. I just felt like one. Days went by with me wondering if the bleeding had stopped. Obviously it did, but I have never been in a mental fog like that. It was scary.

Virginia, tonight at church my prayer group gave you a good praying. And don't even think about telling me that you don't deserve it.

Comment by Virginia G on Thursday

Pamela,

Those are hurtful things you had to deal with.  I am so fortunate that drinking was never a frequent activity with most of my family.  The only thing I can say is this.  I am the one feeling guilty, desperately hoping my Mom and God can forgive all the things I did wrong.  I’m sure your Mom is sorry for what she caused you and is hoping for your forgiveness.

Comment by BLUEBELL on Thursday

Thank you Brett. It is very scary. What I do not like the most is the lack of motivation and being so easily fatigued. I am also frustrated with the lack of support from the Doctors. I keep asking it it would be dangerous to increase a certain medication from 5 mgs to 10 mgs. I am getting no straight answers how much the % of a bleed risk would increase and I am being left to make the decision myself. I feel abandoned.

Bluebell

Comment by Virginia G on Thursday

Brett, the dr may realize that he didn’t tell me what was going on in the hospital and that’s why I have all the questions.  I blame myself for getting upset with him, then not seeking him out but he might feel responsible. I don’t know.

I can’t believe your Dad.  Good thing your Mom made up for it.  You turned out great without him.

 

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Monty replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Im sorry for your loss no matter how long ago it is. i can only imagine the pain and emotions you are still going though. for me it was taking care of the kids and finding one thing to achieve (no matter how small) helped a lot. it was as small…"
21 hours ago
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"Thank you for creating this site, it is a lifeline for many people.  Hope your health is improving every day."
23 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hope every one is doing fine. Last week my father got an infection and was hospitalized so could not follow much here. Now he is better and recovering.  Virginia, you seem to be totally engrossed in the guilt which I can…"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My boyfriend finally gave up.  I don’t blame him at all. And Brett I will tell you I don’t deserve the prayers, pray for my Mom please."
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So the dr talked to my therapist and he told her the same things he told me.  I had asked her to try to get more answers.  I actually feel worse because I had someone ask some doctors about using ventilators.  The oncologist told us…"
yesterday
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Saturday
Profile Icon13 new members joined during the past week
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, since talking to you last I have been searching for a natural solution to your issue. There are new supplements since I went through this about a year and a half ago, but my best advice would be to talk to your doctor about trying a new…"
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, I have been reading, going through a tough time with my friend her dog is getting ready to go to the rainbow bridge and that set me into anxiety.  My stomach is flaring up no matter what I eat.  I started to think about my mom…"
Saturday
Profile IconAshley Gatehouse, Maria Allen and Lori Gersbeck joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Lori Gersbeck joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Orphaned Adults

This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.
Friday
Fran replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You are not a failure! You are a survivor. It's hard to continue a life that was balanced and enriched by a truly loved spouse.  Just do what helps YOU go on."
Friday
Crystal Parker posted photos
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, my dad was horrible. My mom and my brothers and sister moved to NC where mom had family. I was six. We found a little house to rent. We had left all of our furniture at our house in Ky. I remember the day the moving truck came to our new…"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I do not know if you have the same symptoms that I did. It was scary. I was in my shower one day. I was looking at my bottle of shampoo and I couldn't remember what to do with it. And then when I reached for it, it was like my arm was…"
Friday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Pamela, Those are hurtful things you had to deal with.  I am so fortunate that drinking was never a frequent activity with most of my family.  The only thing I can say is this.  I am the one feeling guilty, desperately hoping my Mom…"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Brett. It is very scary. What I do not like the most is the lack of motivation and being so easily fatigued. I am also frustrated with the lack of support from the Doctors. I keep asking it it would be dangerous to increase a certain…"
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, the dr may realize that he didn’t tell me what was going on in the hospital and that’s why I have all the questions.  I blame myself for getting upset with him, then not seeking him out but he might feel responsible. I…"
Thursday
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia yes I will tell you what she lied about who my father is my mother told me the man who is on my birth certificate was my father but he told me I was not his daughter and I look like my so called step father who raised me since I was a baby…"
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, Are you having more symptoms to make you think this?  Or is it from the anxiety of the one you had?  Did they say how long it would take for it to resolve?  "
Thursday

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