I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Discussion Forum

Not only do I miss her, feel like I lost my purpose. Why go on? 7 Replies

Started by Jennifer Nuss. Last reply by Michael Thompson May 29.

I am lost without her! (MOM) 7 Replies

Started by DeeDee. Last reply by Brett Bowman May 7.


Started by Edger. Last reply by Jennifer Nuss Feb 23.

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Comment by Avi on June 24, 2018 at 5:51am

Virginia, I had numbness when my mother took her last breath in ICU. I did not know what to do and doctor told me that she is not in good condition and just let her go. I requested them to try their best but did not ask too many questions. This was because of numbness which is brought by fear. So you are not alone who felt like this.

And I hope the belief that we will meet our loved ones somewhere someday stays intact till our journey ends.

Bluebell wish you are fine. Plz take care.

Comment by Theresa on June 24, 2018 at 5:39am

Sorry my computer is a little behind everyones posts are not showing up unless I click on them  sorry

Comment by Theresa on June 24, 2018 at 5:38am

Praying for you Bluebell.

Comment by Theresa on June 24, 2018 at 5:35am

Omg Bluebell, what happened I was wondering where you were, that scares me I get headaches all the time.

Please tell us what happened.

Comment by BLUEBELL on June 24, 2018 at 2:36am

Reading bothers me so I can not go over any of your posts> But I am thinking of all of you.

I had symptoms I could not ignore such as an intense headache that did not go away and nothing stayed in my stomach. It was scary and still is. But I will recover and not have any further health problems from it. The bleed is stable. I just have to wait until my body reabsorbs the old blood. Mean time, I still have throbbing pain on one side of my head which I can take pain medication for and nausea which I also take medication for. Thank the Lord for a good friend who is helping with taking care of my dear dog and cats.

With all my sister has gone through with just losing her husband, this was the topper. She was afraid she would lose me too. But I am a fighter and I am still here. I would not let her come to the hospital. She has been through too much to have that shoved back in her face.



Comment by Brett Bowman on June 24, 2018 at 2:19am

Your mom is okay. You deserve prayers. God loves you more than you can fathom. We are great friends.

You know why you are numb. That's a defense mechanism. You feel all of this. It's in there somewhere.

Comment by Virginia G on June 24, 2018 at 1:56am

Also Brett, thank you for the comment that you were thinking of me.  And don’t pray for me, pray that my Mom is ok.

If we lived close, I think we’d be great friends.

Comment by Virginia G on June 24, 2018 at 1:44am

I noticed none of you commented on the numbness I have.  I guess none of you experienced it.  It drives me insane.  I googled it on this website and found some posts where people had it.  My therapist keeps telling me it’s normal but to me it makes no sense.  How can the worst thing that ever happened to me stop my emotions?  It should be the opposite.  I’d rather feel the pain.  Like Brett said, I feel closer to her when I cry.  Can your mind logically know something happened and at the same time block it out?  It’s my nature to analyze everything and this is driving me crazy.

Before if we were even watching a tv show and something happened to someone’s mother I couldn’t stand it.  If I heard someone lost their mother, I literally could not fathom it.  If I thought about it, I pictured myself driving to the middle of nowhere and just dying.  How am I still here?  How am I able to live and why?

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 24, 2018 at 1:39am

Virginia, someone will help you find your mom again. If I didn't believe that I wouldn't be on this site. I would just wallow in misery. You will hug your mom again. And you will never have to say goodbye again.

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 24, 2018 at 1:35am

Virginia, you just hit the nail right on the head. I do not like to push my religious beliefs on anyone. Even in my darkest days my biggest fear about hurting myself was that I didn't want to blow my chance of going to heaven and being with my mom. Normally I don't like when the church uses fear to make people fall in line, but I tell you what, if fear of Hell keeps someone from killing themselves, that may not be a bad thing. If someone chooses to live, if they keep trying, maybe, just maybe, they can find a way out of the depression that has them weighed down. And I'm not trying to be funny, but with my luck the past couple of years, I could just see me being damned to Hell and never seeing my mom again. So, in a way we are stuck between a rock and a hard place. There are other reasons why I never hurt myself. There is nothing that I could do that would hurt my mom more. Even in heaven I could just see my mom pleading with me not to do it. Two. It's just not my nature to hurt someone, including myself. I just think it's wrong. I will not judge people like my friend Charles because I just can't fathom the kind of pain that he must have been in. I know pain, but I don't know it to the extent that he experienced it. I want to believe that God would not punish someone who was that sick, but I don't know. I'm not God. I won't play God. I just know that my conscience was telling me that it was very wrong to harm myself.

There is something else. I don't know one person who was once suicidal that wishes that they had followed through with it. Those dark thoughts are like an itch. They climax and then they subside. There is always hope that you can be happy again.

I think you were right about your mom's doctor. He probably did see that your mom was worried about you. One of my mom's doctors, her main doctor, once called me out for crying in the waiting room. He told me that there wasn't time for that, and that I needed to be strong for my mother. He didn't want her to see me like that. He was right. There was time to cry later. My mom knew perfectly well how much I loved her.

About medication... it can take a long, long time to find the right one. When you do find the right one, it can make a world of difference.

About Krissy... thank you so much for remembering. Her lump was benign. It's just a growth that dogs sometimes get as they age. That was very good news. She's curled up at my feet right now.

Don't be a stranger. I know you are in pain. We are all here for you. That's not just lip service. We understand very well how much this hurts.  


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Orphaned Adults

This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, my dad was horrible. My mom and my brothers and sister moved to NC where mom had family. I was six. We found a little house to rent. We had left all of our furniture at our house in Ky. I remember the day the moving truck came to our new…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I do not know if you have the same symptoms that I did. It was scary. I was in my shower one day. I was looking at my bottle of shampoo and I couldn't remember what to do with it. And then when I reached for it, it was like my arm was…"
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Pamela, Those are hurtful things you had to deal with.  I am so fortunate that drinking was never a frequent activity with most of my family.  The only thing I can say is this.  I am the one feeling guilty, desperately hoping my Mom…"
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Brett. It is very scary. What I do not like the most is the lack of motivation and being so easily fatigued. I am also frustrated with the lack of support from the Doctors. I keep asking it it would be dangerous to increase a certain…"
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, the dr may realize that he didn’t tell me what was going on in the hospital and that’s why I have all the questions.  I blame myself for getting upset with him, then not seeking him out but he might feel responsible. I…"
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia yes I will tell you what she lied about who my father is my mother told me the man who is on my birth certificate was my father but he told me I was not his daughter and I look like my so called step father who raised me since I was a baby…"
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, Are you having more symptoms to make you think this?  Or is it from the anxiety of the one you had?  Did they say how long it would take for it to resolve?  "

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