I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Not only do I miss her, feel like I lost my purpose. Why go on? 7 Replies

Started by Jennifer Nuss. Last reply by Michael Thompson May 29.

I am lost without her! (MOM) 7 Replies

Started by DeeDee. Last reply by Brett Bowman May 7.


Started by Edger. Last reply by Jennifer Nuss Feb 23.

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Comment by Virginia G on June 26, 2018 at 12:55am

But does Therea need an antidepressant or an anti anxiety med like Xanax, Ativan, Valium?  Lexapro is one I never took.  I don’t take my anti anxiety meds unless I have to, only because I don’t want anything to add to the numbness of emotions I am having.  I used to shake pretty bad every morning.  That is much less, only shake sometimes now.  I hoped the shaking would kill me.  

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 25, 2018 at 10:16pm
Diet can definitely contribute to depression. Avoid processed foods, soda, caffeine, too much starch. Green leafy vegetables and lean protein are always the way to go. B vitamins, minerals, and fish oil, have been known to combat depression. They are all necessary for cellular function.
Comment by Brett Bowman on June 25, 2018 at 10:06pm
Theresa, I have a feeling that your cortisol levels are very high in the morning. I'm sure of it. It is so hard to lower cortisol with nutritional supplements. You experienced a trauma. There are a lot of supplements that are touted to lower cortisol by use of adaptogens like Ashwaganda and Holy Basil, but adaptogens can actually give you more energy. And that can be counter productive. The best way to lower cortisol is to reduce stress. That is doable for you in the day time because you are doing yoga. Cortisol levels can skyrocket at night because your mind is replaying a lot of bad memories. All those things that we can hide from in the light of day by staying busy can come back to bite us at night. It was really bad for me last year at this time. I would go to bed and wake up after a couple of hours, and I would be so anxious and nervous. That was cortisol. And to be honest, besides eating a good diet, I don't know that you can lower cortisol naturally. At least not to the extent that you need. I believe that your doctor is right about your IBS. I've taken every antidepressant under the sun. Remeron helps me. That's what I am taking now. Remeron has two jobs. It's wonderful for sleep. It is one of the few antidepressants that you take before bed. It has been a huge help for me and it has definitely lowered my cortisol. There is a sad reality for me. I have been able to beat so many things with nutrition, but I have not been able to touch depression. Not real depression. There just aren't many supplements that act as a SSRI, and the ones that do, like St. John's Wart are very hit and miss. Mostly miss. I would suggest taking an antidepressant. It may take a while to find the right one. Don't be scared by your experience with Lexapro. You just have to find the right one for your body chemistry.
Comment by Theresa on June 25, 2018 at 7:01pm

So today and every day when I walk by the picture of my mom that I have on my bureau with the candle I light every night, I say mom I miss you and I cry.

I know it shouldn't be that way, I would give almost anything to wake up feeling refreshed and happy, but I have not for 2 1/2 years.

I can't even drag myself back to practicing Yoga, I love it but I just don't have the energy 

Brett any suggestions, you are a nutritionist.  I feel like a big blob.

Comment by Theresa on June 25, 2018 at 6:58pm

Bluebell, I have friends that take it and love it, not for me, now I am afraid to take something else, my dr. thinks if I can calm my anxiety my IBS will get better.

After my mom passed it was in full force wake up nervous, and that was it the ball started rolling for the day.

When you said what happened to you I freaked out, I get headaches all the time, scared me.

I hope you are feeling better.

Comment by BLUEBELL on June 25, 2018 at 8:34am

I tried Lexapro Theresa. It made me sick, unfocused, fatigued, gave me motion sickness, and made me sleepy as H E double L. It was not the drug for me. I had an abnormal reaction to it. But it is a good antidepressant for others. 

My head hurts this morning. I keep getting a stabbing pain around my right forehead or temple. No fun at all.


Comment by Theresa on June 25, 2018 at 5:08am

Congratulations Avi!!!! Enjoy!!!

Brett, I am anxious even before I get out of the bed and that starts everything my IBS, anxiety, headache, I will be honest I have taken Lexapro 5mg for a while after my mom passed, I stopped, I felt like a bloated balloon, my dr says I was not even taking the correct dose.  I wish I could find something that works without side effects.

Comment by Virginia G on June 25, 2018 at 1:29am

Brett do you not work regular hours since you’re up late always?  

Today when I got up I said I was afraid to be awake.  This is how messed up my mind is.

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 25, 2018 at 1:21am

Avi, your mom knows exactly how much you love her. She knows now more than ever.

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 25, 2018 at 1:20am

Virginia, I think we would all want a do-over even if we had done everything right. I did cry in front of my mom on many occasions. I can't say that I regret that. I think all of that was an affirmation of love, though I am sure that it caused my mom a good deal of worry as well. I think mom's doctor just wanted me to be particularly strong at certain times. I understand that, but those tears were a manifestation of love. They were also a manifestation of fear and regret. Maybe even selfishness on my part. I was always worried about how my mom's death would impact me. I guess that makes me human. That's all I know how to be.

Avi, I am so happy for you. Here, I think we take having a car for granted. Most of all I am happy for you because you fulfilled one of you mother's wishes.


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Orphaned Adults

This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, my dad was horrible. My mom and my brothers and sister moved to NC where mom had family. I was six. We found a little house to rent. We had left all of our furniture at our house in Ky. I remember the day the moving truck came to our new…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I do not know if you have the same symptoms that I did. It was scary. I was in my shower one day. I was looking at my bottle of shampoo and I couldn't remember what to do with it. And then when I reached for it, it was like my arm was…"
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Pamela, Those are hurtful things you had to deal with.  I am so fortunate that drinking was never a frequent activity with most of my family.  The only thing I can say is this.  I am the one feeling guilty, desperately hoping my Mom…"
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, the dr may realize that he didn’t tell me what was going on in the hospital and that’s why I have all the questions.  I blame myself for getting upset with him, then not seeking him out but he might feel responsible. I…"
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia yes I will tell you what she lied about who my father is my mother told me the man who is on my birth certificate was my father but he told me I was not his daughter and I look like my so called step father who raised me since I was a baby…"
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, Are you having more symptoms to make you think this?  Or is it from the anxiety of the one you had?  Did they say how long it would take for it to resolve?  "

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