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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 716
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I am lost without her! (MOM) 7 Replies

Started by DeeDee. Last reply by Brett Bowman May 7.

Not only do I miss her, feel like I lost my purpose. Why go on? 5 Replies

Started by Jennifer Nuss. Last reply by Betty Ellsworth Mar 30.

I TERRIBLY MISS MOMMY! 2 Replies

Started by Edger. Last reply by Jennifer Nuss Feb 23.

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Comment by Theresa on May 18, 2018 at 5:57am

Gosh Bluebell, I'm sorry about that, you never know how a med is going to affect you.

I think about everyone on here always, I have been trying to busy myself with work taking extra hours to occupy my mind.

It doesn't work.

Comment by BLUEBELL on May 18, 2018 at 2:48am

Thank you for answering Brett.

Yes. It is horrible. Not only are my emotions all over the place and it is hard to focus, I am also dizzy, nauseated, shake, feel fatigued, easily get cold and I cry. I tried the antidepressant and then it shot my anxiety through the roof. Consequently, instead of tapering slowly like is recommended, I had to cut the dose in half. I cannot drive. I cannot work. It is hard to think clearly. I am missing a get together with my sister and friends tomorrow to celebrate my birthday and to honor our Mothers for Mother'd day. A friend whom I invited to go with me is mad at me because I had to cancel  and I could not tell her the real reason why. As much as I love her, she is the type of person that would never understand. Thank goodness my sister does understand and believes me when I told her why I had to cancel and how bad I felt. I do have a dear good friend that is helping take care of my cats at my second residence because I can not get there in my car safely. A med similar to Klonipin is helping me with the shakes when they get particularly bad, but it puts me to sleep. When I wake up, I feel disoriented and just shuffle around the house for a bit, feeling lost. Yes, it is hard to go through this along with everything else. But I am assured by the doctor that it will get better after 1-2 weeks. I hope so. 

Crystal, thank you for your prayers. I am glad you got to see your Mom in your dreams, but sorry part of it was reliving her final breaths. I still think and visualize my Mom's last few breaths while I am awake. But they do not come as frequently and I am learning to push them away.

Thank God I have my little dog who accepts me and shows his love for me no matter what state of mind I am in or how bad I feel physically.

Thank God for good friends who are willing to help me while I get through this.

Thank God for this group who care about each other and support one another the best that they can while they are going through missing their Moms

For those who are on or considering an antidepressant or are currently on one, what I am going through does not happen to everyone, or if it does, the intensity varies from person to person.

Bluebell

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 18, 2018 at 12:01am

Bluebell, I am familiar with discontinuation syndrome. I have experienced it before and it's horrible. Klonopin helped me greatly.

I am so sorry. You are experiencing enough without having to go through this, too. We take antidepressants to try and cope, and sometimes they just make the problem worse. I had a very short run in with Effexor. It was horrible. 

Comment by Crystal K on May 17, 2018 at 7:58pm

Bluebell I am praying for you.   We survived mother's day. 

Last night was pretty bad for me. I was feeling anxious all day and cried myself to sleep.  A bit glad though cause I got to see my mom, even if it was just in my dreams, I felt so close to her. It was a weird dream split into two. One of us at the beach and the next was reliving watching her take her last breaths of life.   Im just so tired of feeling the guilt and the sadness... I miss her terribly and I've realized my feelings of resentment towards some people in my life still lingers. 

Comment by BLUEBELL on May 17, 2018 at 5:00pm

I am okay, not great, but okay. 

Bluebell

Comment by BLUEBELL on May 17, 2018 at 11:56am

To put it out there, I am going through what is called discontinuation syndrome from an antidepressant I was not tolerating. I am one of those that this syndrome is particularly bad. You can look up discontinuation syndrome from an antidepressant if you want more information.

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 17, 2018 at 10:46am

I never saw that either. I wish that I had.

Comment by Sherri on May 17, 2018 at 9:31am

Good Morning Bluebell

I'm sorry I never saw this it I'm glad your okay

Comment by BLUEBELL on May 17, 2018 at 9:23am

My post last night in the LASTEST ACTIVITY around 2-2:30 AM

"is anybody out there? I am feeling pretty bad and alone."

It was very disappointing not to get an answer, but I survived.

Bluebell

Comment by Sherri on May 15, 2018 at 6:16am

Thanks Brett I'll try it see if it helps

 

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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, Bluebell,   thanks for the love and for caring.  I am still afraid of not knowing what happens to people that end their life.  I wouldnt want to ruin my only chance to be with her again.  Then again, wouldn’t a…"
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I thought about it but it was never a real possibility for me. As I said earlier, there is nothing in this world that would hurt my mom more than ending my own life. I will never do it. I try to be careful. I'm such a religious…"
17 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree with you Virginia. Sometimes we actually dont know what we are doing."
19 hours ago
Mike H. posted a blog post

What Can Help Me if I'm Depressed?

The best help comes from “God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed.”—2 Corinthians 7:6, The Amplified Bible.What God gives to help the depressedStrength. God “refreshes and cheers” you, not by removing all your problems, but by answering your prayers when you pray for the strength to cope. (…See More
21 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time.  Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference?  Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have. I had no idea there were only a few…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out. Bluebell"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Guys This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.  The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
yesterday
Avi joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.   I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
yesterday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I wish I hadn't posted so quickly this morning. I had some type'o's. I meant to say that my mom held out her hand before she died. She was holding it upwards. It was an awesome thing to see, though at the time it didn't mean so…"
Friday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common.  I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad.  Same here.  My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
Friday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0 Virginia, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
Thursday

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