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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 731
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by BLUEBELL on May 14, 2018 at 1:14pm

Sherri

Please tell me how to escape reality. I hate that the harshness of it keeps slapping me in the face.

Bluebell

Comment by Sherri on May 14, 2018 at 11:44am

Hello Everyone

It's been a while since I posted I have been reading its just been a tough go a bit. I hope everyone did okay yesterday it's tough on us all know matter the time. Yes Brett I do feel like I'm treading water most day just trying to get through it. My mom birthday was 2 weeks ago and then mine then Mother's day I just had to get through and smile some way and know she would want it that way. the hardest part was my step dad has moved on and moved in with someone and put the house up for sale without telling anyone all in these two weeks so  someday I try to escape reality because I still have a hard time without her. I have taken advice from those in the group and reached out for help because I don't see my self getting a handle on things only worse some days so thank you. You guys are always in my thoughts and prayers thanks for listening.

Comment by BLUEBELL on May 14, 2018 at 11:33am

Brett

In my opinion, you do not miss your Mom too much. Grief has a timeline of its own. I also want to say that our parents did their best to prepare us to be independent adults, but they did not teach us how to prepare for their death. That we have to figure out on our own and it is not easy.

Bluebell

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 14, 2018 at 10:48am

I believe that one of the reasons why people don't post as much is because we feel like we are not getting better. We are treading water.

Theresa, you are right. Yesterday gave me even more reason to think about my mom but it's not like I don't think about her as much as other days. The way I feel is constant.

I feel guilty about the way I pray, too. There's a lot more, "Where are you? Why won't you help?" in my prayers. My belief in God is the one thing that I most rely on. I visit a shrine of the Blessed Mother as much as I can. I say things like, "Please don't just be a statue for me. Please help." This causes me tremendous guilt.

I realize that it's no one's fault. I just miss my mom too much.

Comment by Theresa on May 14, 2018 at 5:13am

Hi Brett, yes made it through the day, but I struggled, especially when I went to the cemetery, knowing she is not there just a stone.

I have changed so much, I just feel so much hate, and anger, a few of my friends texted me yesterday and said I know this is a difficult day for you, I answered one friend everyday is difficult I have just learned to live with it. 

Well I think about everyone often and I am glad you posted.

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 13, 2018 at 11:59pm

I hope that everyone made it through the day okay. It's been a while since anyone has posted. I feel very much like Bluebell. We are all here to lift each other up. Maybe those aren't the right words. We are all going through something horrible together, and it is good to know that we are not alone. What's frustrating though is that we can post about how bad we feel until the cows come home, but that does not make us miss our moms any less. Sometimes I just wish that I could raise a white flag and say, "I've had enough." I could raise that flag but on one would acknowledge it. I would still have to go on living. It's almost impossible to drop out of life. Life comes for you regardless. We all have to go on. It would sure be nice to find some peace along the way.

One thing that has been most hurtful for me is that the longer I am removed from my mom's death the more people become tired of hearing about it. Even if I don't talk about it, they can still see it. That makes me want to withdraw from people, even my closest friends.

I feel like the one thing that would make me feel better is  the one thing that I cannot have. To be with my mom again.

Comment by Douglas on May 7, 2018 at 4:49am

Beautiful picture Maria!

Comment by BLUEBELL on May 4, 2018 at 6:42am

It has been a year Feb 14th since losing my Mom. I too am struggling , and it has been exacerbated by the recent sudden loss of my dear sister's husband. I have little energy and just kind of make through the day the best I can.

I am sorry for your loss Taylah and fully understand what you are going through. You are not alone.

Bluebell

Comment by Taylah B on May 4, 2018 at 6:13am

It’s coming up to almost 6 months since losing mum and I’ve reallt begun to struggle. So many people told me it gets easier with time but I feel like it’s geyyinf harder... I bottled all my emotions up when caring for her when she was sick and I wish now I told her how I felt and that I was heartbroken... I feel so broken all the time 

Comment by Joy on May 3, 2018 at 5:32pm

Thanks Bluebell. My thoughts and prayers are with you too. My condolences to you and your sister on the recent loss of her husband/your brother-in-law.  

 

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Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
1 hour ago
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Wednesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Tuesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Tuesday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Tuesday
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is still numbing to think my Mom is gone & I can't talk to her or see her again.  I lost part of me when she passed.  Someone said the restless feelings I have are really anxiety.  Daily crying is part of my life. …"
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would rather cry on the outside than on the inside. Crying on the outside is a release. I am really tired of being sad. I'm also tired of being scared. Life without my mom still seems like a scary proposition. All we can do is to continue to…"
Monday

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