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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29.

I miss my Mom 4 Replies

Started by Sun. Last reply by Michael Thompson Oct 28.

I am lost without her! (MOM) 9 Replies

Started by DeeDee. Last reply by DeeDee Jul 26.

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Comment by BLUEBELL on April 29, 2018 at 10:59pm

This is my second Mother's Day without my Mom. I do not even want to think about it.

Bluebell

Comment by Brett Bowman on April 29, 2018 at 10:28pm

And it's safe to say that none of us need a reminder that our moms are gone.

Comment by Jessica Laird on April 29, 2018 at 7:53pm

Theresa-  seeing all the mother days commercials is making my grieving harder. It keeps reminding me that she is gone. 

Comment by Theresa on April 29, 2018 at 7:22pm

Its coming up on Mother's Day, another hurdle to get over.......

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 26, 2018 at 10:48am

"Grief counseling is not a magic bullet. We will feel what we feel until we heal." So true Brett. The counselor I see periodically does not push the grief process or closure. He encourages me to talk if I want to and gently gives suggestions, but not rules to follow. It has helped to have developed a trust with someone like this that I feel does not judge me. There must have been divine guidance for me to have chosen him.

Bluebell

Comment by Brett Bowman on April 25, 2018 at 11:59am

Bulebell, I don't think it is inappropriate at all to say I love you to this group. I love everyone here. This is a group that understands because we are all experiencing tremendous grief. I am so tired of random people telling me that I need to go through grief counseling. I have done that already and grief counseling is not a magic bullet. We will feel what we feel until we heal.

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 25, 2018 at 10:41am

My Mom was cremated and her ashes were laid to rest in the ocean per her wishes. She wanted no services or even a celebration of her life. We honored her wishes, But I wish I had a place at a cemetery where I could go visit her. I think it might make it easier to sell her house...I do not know. I still stay at her home even though I have a condo of my own close by. At least I have some physical sense of her presence when I am surrounded by the things she chose and liked. I have kept the huge hedge in her back yard just the way she liked it. I still hang the kitchen towels in the same place and the same things on the counter. Her room no longer has a bed in it, but the rest of the furniture is unchanged, including the knick·knacks she kept on her dresser. My family is not in a hurry to sell the house, ( I have 3 brothers and 1 sister), and I am grateful. It is too overwhelming for both my sister and I to start the process, and now it is going to be even harder since my sister's recent loss. I travel back and forth to my condo to take care of my 2 kitties every day. They just would not fit in with my Mom's adult cat. My dog is here with me now, but I used to leave him at my condo and go visit, feed and walk him twice a day because I did not him to traumatize Mom's cat by moving him here. I have not let go of my Mom, I know that. It is baby steps for me and it is and has been a long process.

This may be inappropriate, but because life can be short and unpredictable, I am going to say that I love you all and you are all very special people. You have made a very sad time in my life easier just by listening and and sharing your own experiences. It helps so much to know I am not alone in this. God bless you all.

Bluebell 

Comment by Theresa on April 25, 2018 at 5:23am

Bluebell, that is how the whole first year was for me after my mom passed, it was just a blur...

Comment by Theresa on April 25, 2018 at 5:21am

Marie my thoughts and prayers are with you, Brett is right we remember our moms everyday the same way, but for me it makes me feel happy to go to her grave and bring a flower and tell her I love her, but I tell her I love her every day and night.   I had a hard time at first going to the cemmetary because they took so long to engrave the stone with her name, I got a bit nasty with them because they kept pushing me off, but they did not hesitate to take my money, finally I talked to someone who got it done.  My mom and dad were cremated I feel peace knowing I have some of her ashes in a small ceramic heart in a small velvet mirrored box with her picture in it on my nightstand.  I still cry every night when I get in bed and talk to her, I say mom I need you here to help me, its hard not having her to lean on.  

Like Brett said lets all get through that day together and take a moment to thank God for giving us the strength to continue on without our moms....

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 25, 2018 at 5:13am

Marie D, Thank you for your condolences. I am heartbroken every minute of the day about it. A couple of days after it happened, I offered to pick up his ashes and death certificates. It is 2 in the morning right now, so I am doing that today and taking them to my sister. It is horrible to think he has been reduced to just this. Today is going to be a test of my strength and the love and compassion I feel for my sister. 

How well I understand that deep, heart wrenching sadness that feels like I cannot get through another day without breaking into a million pieces. I do not know how I got through Mother's day last year. It was my first too and it is all a big blur. I do not know how I got through the day my Mom gave birth to me on May 5th. I am guessing all I did was use the energy I had at that time into keeping myself alive. That is how far down I was.

I still miss my Mom every day, but the intensity of it has softened. Even though it may be hard for you to believe right now Marie, it will for you too. 

Bluebell

 

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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sorry should say sit with my mom. I'm a bit nervous about the mass this morning, I just want this day over. I figured I would go to the mass, stop at the small place where she used to go everyday for her friends and she was friends with with…"
7 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Three days Brett, it will come and it will go, I just want time to go fast for once. Eight more days for you also, I'm sure you feel the same, like going over and over that day in your head, shamefully I can't remember because I was in so…"
7 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Selv,  Your words really touched me as I also cremated my mother and scattered them in holy river of Ganga. I live in India so here the ashes are mostly scattered in holy river.  Like you I also wish to complete my journey on this earth…"
13 hours ago
Daylight commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Theresa, it is always very hard. I think every season is difficult. After Christmas, here it will be summer. Although summer is a beautiful season, I will feel sad because my mom died in January. Plus, the weather gets extremely hot, and…"
17 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I know it will be hard, Theresa."
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well as I sit here in bed at like 930 tomorrow is the yearly mass I hate to say yearly but it’s the third year for my mother and I have a mass said every year for her. I know I’ll be sitting in church and when they say this mass is being…"
17 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"What's hard is that, even if we don't celebrate it, the rest of the world will. I can't get away from the Christmas music and decorations. That's okay. The world shouldn't stop celebrating Christmas just because it makes me…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, Thank You so much for sharing you OBE. I have read a lot of books on it and saw the movie Heaven is for Real. The one book I like is Hello from Heave by Bill & Judy Guggenheim.  Two days after my Husband died I had 1 message on my…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, Thank You so much for sharing you OBE. I have read a lot of books on it and saw the movie Heaven is for Real. The one book I like is Hello from Heave by Bill & Judy Guggenheim.  Two days after my Husband died I had 1 message on my…"
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Daylight commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, praying is all we have now. I hope it can helps us cope better. I've always loved Christmas but this year I don't feel like celebrating it. I haven't decorated my house, and I haven't got a Christmas tree. I just…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, it's true that I was blessed to take care of my mom, but that only makes saying goodbye harder. Losing our moms is never easy for anyone, but for some of us who find our way here, our moms may have been the center of our lives. That's…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks, SelV. I wish there was something I could say something to make you feel better. I wish there was something you could say to make me feel better."
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I feel compelled to share my feelings, beliefs and philosophical thoughts with all of you not only because we share the same bond of sufferings, wants, and hopes, but most of all we share the experience of true love for the one we lost here on…"
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joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Our world is governed by science and most scientists say if you can't see it, it doesn't exist. Yet most agree that there are many other dimensions we can't see or detect. Huh? I had great respect for Steven Hawkins at one time. He…"
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Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"You are right people dont get it.The sadness never goes away.I am gratiful the support is here."
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Denise, I learned a lot of things on this forum. The important one is everyone found their true SOULMATE and lost them. The world just doesn't understand why we don't want to carry on without them. THEY WILL NEVER GET IT.   "
yesterday
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"The story about the whales is amazing.There are so many things about death I dont understand.I do know each day with out my husband is too hard to bear.I am very busy and active but l have a deep yearing to be with him.This will be the 3rd holiday…"
Friday
Emily is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, Thank you for your post. I like Morgan gave me a lift. I have often thought about suicide but have no intention of doing away with myself because of my religion. I will not take the chance of never seeing Julian again I too do not go to the…"
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Aimee Hall Fuszard joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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