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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 716
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I am lost without her! (MOM) 7 Replies

Started by DeeDee. Last reply by Brett Bowman May 7.

Not only do I miss her, feel like I lost my purpose. Why go on? 5 Replies

Started by Jennifer Nuss. Last reply by Betty Ellsworth Mar 30.

I TERRIBLY MISS MOMMY! 2 Replies

Started by Edger. Last reply by Jennifer Nuss Feb 23.

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Comment by BLUEBELL on April 29, 2018 at 10:59pm

This is my second Mother's Day without my Mom. I do not even want to think about it.

Bluebell

Comment by Brett Bowman on April 29, 2018 at 10:28pm

And it's safe to say that none of us need a reminder that our moms are gone.

Comment by Jessica Laird on April 29, 2018 at 7:53pm

Theresa-  seeing all the mother days commercials is making my grieving harder. It keeps reminding me that she is gone. 

Comment by Theresa on April 29, 2018 at 7:22pm

Its coming up on Mother's Day, another hurdle to get over.......

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 26, 2018 at 10:48am

"Grief counseling is not a magic bullet. We will feel what we feel until we heal." So true Brett. The counselor I see periodically does not push the grief process or closure. He encourages me to talk if I want to and gently gives suggestions, but not rules to follow. It has helped to have developed a trust with someone like this that I feel does not judge me. There must have been divine guidance for me to have chosen him.

Bluebell

Comment by Brett Bowman on April 25, 2018 at 11:59am

Bulebell, I don't think it is inappropriate at all to say I love you to this group. I love everyone here. This is a group that understands because we are all experiencing tremendous grief. I am so tired of random people telling me that I need to go through grief counseling. I have done that already and grief counseling is not a magic bullet. We will feel what we feel until we heal.

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 25, 2018 at 10:41am

My Mom was cremated and her ashes were laid to rest in the ocean per her wishes. She wanted no services or even a celebration of her life. We honored her wishes, But I wish I had a place at a cemetery where I could go visit her. I think it might make it easier to sell her house...I do not know. I still stay at her home even though I have a condo of my own close by. At least I have some physical sense of her presence when I am surrounded by the things she chose and liked. I have kept the huge hedge in her back yard just the way she liked it. I still hang the kitchen towels in the same place and the same things on the counter. Her room no longer has a bed in it, but the rest of the furniture is unchanged, including the knick·knacks she kept on her dresser. My family is not in a hurry to sell the house, ( I have 3 brothers and 1 sister), and I am grateful. It is too overwhelming for both my sister and I to start the process, and now it is going to be even harder since my sister's recent loss. I travel back and forth to my condo to take care of my 2 kitties every day. They just would not fit in with my Mom's adult cat. My dog is here with me now, but I used to leave him at my condo and go visit, feed and walk him twice a day because I did not him to traumatize Mom's cat by moving him here. I have not let go of my Mom, I know that. It is baby steps for me and it is and has been a long process.

This may be inappropriate, but because life can be short and unpredictable, I am going to say that I love you all and you are all very special people. You have made a very sad time in my life easier just by listening and and sharing your own experiences. It helps so much to know I am not alone in this. God bless you all.

Bluebell 

Comment by Theresa on April 25, 2018 at 5:23am

Bluebell, that is how the whole first year was for me after my mom passed, it was just a blur...

Comment by Theresa on April 25, 2018 at 5:21am

Marie my thoughts and prayers are with you, Brett is right we remember our moms everyday the same way, but for me it makes me feel happy to go to her grave and bring a flower and tell her I love her, but I tell her I love her every day and night.   I had a hard time at first going to the cemmetary because they took so long to engrave the stone with her name, I got a bit nasty with them because they kept pushing me off, but they did not hesitate to take my money, finally I talked to someone who got it done.  My mom and dad were cremated I feel peace knowing I have some of her ashes in a small ceramic heart in a small velvet mirrored box with her picture in it on my nightstand.  I still cry every night when I get in bed and talk to her, I say mom I need you here to help me, its hard not having her to lean on.  

Like Brett said lets all get through that day together and take a moment to thank God for giving us the strength to continue on without our moms....

Comment by BLUEBELL on April 25, 2018 at 5:13am

Marie D, Thank you for your condolences. I am heartbroken every minute of the day about it. A couple of days after it happened, I offered to pick up his ashes and death certificates. It is 2 in the morning right now, so I am doing that today and taking them to my sister. It is horrible to think he has been reduced to just this. Today is going to be a test of my strength and the love and compassion I feel for my sister. 

How well I understand that deep, heart wrenching sadness that feels like I cannot get through another day without breaking into a million pieces. I do not know how I got through Mother's day last year. It was my first too and it is all a big blur. I do not know how I got through the day my Mom gave birth to me on May 5th. I am guessing all I did was use the energy I had at that time into keeping myself alive. That is how far down I was.

I still miss my Mom every day, but the intensity of it has softened. Even though it may be hard for you to believe right now Marie, it will for you too. 

Bluebell

 

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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, Bluebell,   thanks for the love and for caring.  I am still afraid of not knowing what happens to people that end their life.  I wouldnt want to ruin my only chance to be with her again.  Then again, wouldn’t a…"
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I thought about it but it was never a real possibility for me. As I said earlier, there is nothing in this world that would hurt my mom more than ending my own life. I will never do it. I try to be careful. I'm such a religious…"
18 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree with you Virginia. Sometimes we actually dont know what we are doing."
20 hours ago
Mike H. posted a blog post

What Can Help Me if I'm Depressed?

The best help comes from “God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed.”—2 Corinthians 7:6, The Amplified Bible.What God gives to help the depressedStrength. God “refreshes and cheers” you, not by removing all your problems, but by answering your prayers when you pray for the strength to cope. (…See More
21 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time.  Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference?  Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have. I had no idea there were only a few…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out. Bluebell"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Guys This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.  The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
yesterday
Avi joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.   I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
yesterday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I wish I hadn't posted so quickly this morning. I had some type'o's. I meant to say that my mom held out her hand before she died. She was holding it upwards. It was an awesome thing to see, though at the time it didn't mean so…"
Friday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common.  I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad.  Same here.  My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
Friday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0 Virginia, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
Thursday

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