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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 713
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I am lost without her! (MOM) 4 Replies

Started by DeeDee. Last reply by DeeDee Apr 9.

Not only do I miss her, feel like I lost my purpose. Why go on? 5 Replies

Started by Jennifer Nuss. Last reply by Betty Ellsworth Mar 30.

I TERRIBLY MISS MOMMY! 2 Replies

Started by Edger. Last reply by Jennifer Nuss Feb 23.

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Comment by Crystal K on March 23, 2018 at 5:40am

It is my mom’s birthday to two days. She wouldve been 61. Been dreading this day everyday this past month. How can someone you knew and talked to everyday suddenly not be here the next? Then it seems like their whole life is reduced to their last days... cause thats what sticks to your memory.. no matter how much i try to think of the good times, i always end up thinking about the end... and how she didnt deserve any of it... 

I am realizing that I will never “get better”..  I miss her terribly especially at night when I return home from work and find myself alone, reminiscing about the old days in a bucket of melancholy. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 17, 2018 at 1:20am

Jessica, I don't want to be a downer. Lord knows you are down enough. There will come a time when you won't have to leave work early. I think there comes a time when we realize that this is something that we cannot control. We either continue to put one foot in front of the other or we don't. I believe that you will continue to live your life. It will always hurt, but one thing that I hold onto is this. I am literally a part of my mother. She goes on through me. I know that. Sometimes I notice in my mannerisms how much my mom and I are alike. You mother lives through you. My mother lives through me. We bury our moms and that is so hard, but their legacy is still here. If you want to find it just look in the mirror.

Go on for your mom. Go on for yourself. Let's keep something that our moms loved so much (us) alive. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 16, 2018 at 7:23pm

I realize more and more each day that my mom was the center-piece of my life. The one constant I always had in my life was my mom. All was right with the world as long as I had my mom. Of course I had bad days, but I still had my mom. And now I don't. That is a hard reality to face each day. At some point each morning I wake up and remember that my mom is dead. What a horrible way to face the day.

There's something else that has been on my mind today. My photo albums. I have looked at so many pictures of my mom and her little dogs. I remember taking a lot of them. Now mom and one of her little dogs are now pictures in a photo album. I look at her last little dog (Krissy) who is laying here at my feet and I know that she will one day be a picture in a photo album as well. It's too much.

I just don't know how to make things better. I wish that I could.

Comment by Jessica Laird on March 16, 2018 at 6:25pm

I am having such a hard time at work .Tuesday i had to leave mid day and today i broke down crying again at work and had to leave early. I want the anxiety and tears to go away

Comment by BLUEBELL on March 16, 2018 at 3:26pm

I knew it was time to let my Mom go. But I had no idea of the intensity of the emotional pain it would cause me until it happened

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa on March 16, 2018 at 5:48am

Brett, I agree.

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 16, 2018 at 12:16am

Even If they do not understand what you are going through, I hope that they at least have some idea how blessed they are to still have  their moms. I don't know if that's possible though. I cherished my mom when she was alive, but it is so hard to prepare for this. I knew it would be bad. I had some idea, but you just can't know the reality, finality of it all until you experience it.

Comment by Theresa on March 15, 2018 at 6:46pm

Crystal, you described it best "a horror movie"  I just can't get it out of my mind.

God bless everyone, may we all find inner peace, here, talking about our moms.

I can say it helps me alot to know you all know the feeling of this pain we all feel, my husband, my friends have no idea because they still have MOM....

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 15, 2018 at 12:51pm

Crystal, I agree with all that you wrote. My mom suffered. I'm glad that she is not sick anymore but that does not make me miss her any less. If that is selfish I will just have to live with it. We feel what we feel. I could lie and put on a happy face but I can't fool myself. 

Being handed a bag of your mom's clothes is heartbreaking. If you were the primary caregiver there is really no way around it. My mom died at home, but after the Hospice nurse prepared her body, she left the pajamas that my mom had been wearing in a chair next to my mom's hospital bed. And then when I went through all of my mom's clothes there were so many pairs of hospital socks. My mom liked those. She was a fall risk and they helped her keep her footing. But looking at them made me remember all of the times that I got to bring mom back home from the hospital. No more.

I can't go to my mom's grave. I have not been able to go back to my mom's church. My sister has some messages that mom had left her still on her phone. There is no way that I could listen to those. God, that would kill me.

I don't want to make you feel bad about going to a medium. We do what we can to find some comfort. Please don't beat yourself up about a lack of faith. You could have all of the faith in the world and still miss your mom like you do.

I wish you a great day filled with peace. I pray that we all will find peace.

Comment by Crystal K on March 15, 2018 at 4:02am

I would never want to diminish someone’s faith or beliefs. I just wish my faith was as strong as you guys. I am aware of what the bible says about mediums and the dangers of it. I was so distraught the first month after my mom’s death that I did go see a medium. She was very friendly and I cried throughout the whole experience. At first it made me feel better to know that my mom was on the other side nd that she thanked me for being a good daughter.. But after a few weeks the feeling went away... Brett it made me think about what you said sometime ago about it not being about how she died or the circumstances but really the pain was just cause our mothers arent with us anymore- simple as that... Made me realize that even if my mom is happy in the afterlife, it didnt make me miss her less... cause I still miss her like crazy... I hope this doesnt make anyone uncomfortable.. losing my mom was so sudden I needed to talk to her again.. even if it wasnt directly... but yes now I question that experience.. but the psychic did share personal details that I thought only a true medium would know... Anyway...church is one of the places I avoid because it is another place that now has my mother’s shadow attached to it. I’ve cried everytime I stepped foot into our church because I would glance to the empty seat that was once filled with my mother’s warmth...
Theresa, you describing your mom’s death reminds me very much of my mom’s as well... Staring in disbelief as the nurse came with a bag of clothes and handed it to me... the familiar clothes that she always wore... Her cane... it was like a horror movie... still is... I cannot watch videos of her or listen to her last voicemail either...i burst out crying everytime I do... I am still waiting for the day that thoughts of her will bring a smile to my face rather than drenched pillow cases.. but I know that is a long time coming... Let us all get there together... I am truly thankful to have you guys to share these thoughts with... talking bout it helps and heals... and I truly hope that my heart is healing little by little with every interaction on this site... All the best... Wish you comfort on the bad days and hope on the worse days...

 

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