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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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I am lost without her! (MOM) 4 Replies

Started by DeeDee. Last reply by DeeDee Apr 9.

Not only do I miss her, feel like I lost my purpose. Why go on? 5 Replies

Started by Jennifer Nuss. Last reply by Betty Ellsworth Mar 30.

I TERRIBLY MISS MOMMY! 2 Replies

Started by Edger. Last reply by Jennifer Nuss Feb 23.

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Comment by Brett Bowman on March 23, 2018 at 10:46am

Crystal, it's a double edged sword. I can remember my mom when she was healthy. Even that makes me sad because it leads me to visualize what became of her. The reality of what happened always comes back to you.

I don't believe that we will ever "get over it", but I have to hope and believe that time will help us accept what has happened. That somehow we can learn to live with it. I have known older people who just shut down after losing their spouse. If we want to live and be happy, we have to make a decision to not shut down. That's easy for me to say. I can tell you that but I don't know how to actually pull it off. Circumstances play such a big role. Even if I were ready to move on, the circumstances of my life keep me where I am. I just hope and pray that they improve.

Comment by Crystal K on March 23, 2018 at 5:40am

It is my mom’s birthday to two days. She wouldve been 61. Been dreading this day everyday this past month. How can someone you knew and talked to everyday suddenly not be here the next? Then it seems like their whole life is reduced to their last days... cause thats what sticks to your memory.. no matter how much i try to think of the good times, i always end up thinking about the end... and how she didnt deserve any of it... 

I am realizing that I will never “get better”..  I miss her terribly especially at night when I return home from work and find myself alone, reminiscing about the old days in a bucket of melancholy. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 17, 2018 at 1:20am

Jessica, I don't want to be a downer. Lord knows you are down enough. There will come a time when you won't have to leave work early. I think there comes a time when we realize that this is something that we cannot control. We either continue to put one foot in front of the other or we don't. I believe that you will continue to live your life. It will always hurt, but one thing that I hold onto is this. I am literally a part of my mother. She goes on through me. I know that. Sometimes I notice in my mannerisms how much my mom and I are alike. You mother lives through you. My mother lives through me. We bury our moms and that is so hard, but their legacy is still here. If you want to find it just look in the mirror.

Go on for your mom. Go on for yourself. Let's keep something that our moms loved so much (us) alive. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 16, 2018 at 7:23pm

I realize more and more each day that my mom was the center-piece of my life. The one constant I always had in my life was my mom. All was right with the world as long as I had my mom. Of course I had bad days, but I still had my mom. And now I don't. That is a hard reality to face each day. At some point each morning I wake up and remember that my mom is dead. What a horrible way to face the day.

There's something else that has been on my mind today. My photo albums. I have looked at so many pictures of my mom and her little dogs. I remember taking a lot of them. Now mom and one of her little dogs are now pictures in a photo album. I look at her last little dog (Krissy) who is laying here at my feet and I know that she will one day be a picture in a photo album as well. It's too much.

I just don't know how to make things better. I wish that I could.

Comment by Jessica Laird on March 16, 2018 at 6:25pm

I am having such a hard time at work .Tuesday i had to leave mid day and today i broke down crying again at work and had to leave early. I want the anxiety and tears to go away

Comment by BLUEBELL on March 16, 2018 at 3:26pm

I knew it was time to let my Mom go. But I had no idea of the intensity of the emotional pain it would cause me until it happened

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa on March 16, 2018 at 5:48am

Brett, I agree.

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 16, 2018 at 12:16am

Even If they do not understand what you are going through, I hope that they at least have some idea how blessed they are to still have  their moms. I don't know if that's possible though. I cherished my mom when she was alive, but it is so hard to prepare for this. I knew it would be bad. I had some idea, but you just can't know the reality, finality of it all until you experience it.

Comment by Theresa on March 15, 2018 at 6:46pm

Crystal, you described it best "a horror movie"  I just can't get it out of my mind.

God bless everyone, may we all find inner peace, here, talking about our moms.

I can say it helps me alot to know you all know the feeling of this pain we all feel, my husband, my friends have no idea because they still have MOM....

Comment by Brett Bowman on March 15, 2018 at 12:51pm

Crystal, I agree with all that you wrote. My mom suffered. I'm glad that she is not sick anymore but that does not make me miss her any less. If that is selfish I will just have to live with it. We feel what we feel. I could lie and put on a happy face but I can't fool myself. 

Being handed a bag of your mom's clothes is heartbreaking. If you were the primary caregiver there is really no way around it. My mom died at home, but after the Hospice nurse prepared her body, she left the pajamas that my mom had been wearing in a chair next to my mom's hospital bed. And then when I went through all of my mom's clothes there were so many pairs of hospital socks. My mom liked those. She was a fall risk and they helped her keep her footing. But looking at them made me remember all of the times that I got to bring mom back home from the hospital. No more.

I can't go to my mom's grave. I have not been able to go back to my mom's church. My sister has some messages that mom had left her still on her phone. There is no way that I could listen to those. God, that would kill me.

I don't want to make you feel bad about going to a medium. We do what we can to find some comfort. Please don't beat yourself up about a lack of faith. You could have all of the faith in the world and still miss your mom like you do.

I wish you a great day filled with peace. I pray that we all will find peace.

 

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BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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CYBERSIS updated their profile
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BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Marie, I am glad to see you post again. Mother's Day is my mom's birthday. Last years Mother's Day was really hard. I don't think it will be as bad this year. Seconds, minutes, and hours pass, and then it's another day. I…"
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Marie D commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Madeleine replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
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Madeleine replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
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dream moon JO B replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"noy let go but i no ther is afrer lifess coz thy can vist us is m ush is thy need 2 esplyyy wen we need thm "
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dream moon JO B commented on Jesse's Mom's group Signs from Our Loved Ones
"lst 4 wks iv bean goin 2 spirtalstt churshes lot of pepepel had mesagess off lovesd 1s thy hav evn off e pepeepl it die ovr 60 or 70 or80 yrs go "
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My sister kept some of my mom's voicemail to her. There is no way that I could listen to it. She also took some video footage of her while she was on Hospice. Seeing those would be very painful. Like you, looking through a photo album is so…"
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Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Tuesday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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AnneJ. commented on Virginia G's blog post Post traumatic stress disorder
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Madeleine posted a discussion

What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?

Hi, I'm new to this site and would love to share my new project inspired by the loss of my mom 24 years ago - www.yourjustfiveminutes.com.Just Five Minutes was created to help those dealing with grief reconnect to their lost loved one, either by dreaming the impossible, or by simply reading other peoples' words who may be experiencing a similar sense of loss as you.It asks one question: 'What would you do if... came…See More
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