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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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I TERRIBLY MISS MOMMY! 1 Reply

Started by Edger. Last reply by BLUEBELL Dec 21, 2017.

It's hard to accept ,my mother is no more 5 Replies

Started by Ambreen. Last reply by Theresa Dec 19, 2017.

Its hard accepting my mother's death 8 Replies

Started by Crystal K. Last reply by Crystal K Oct 23, 2017.

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Comment by Brett Bowman on Wednesday

Mine as well.

Comment by Theresa on Wednesday

Bluebell, you are in my thoughts today...

Comment by Brett Bowman on February 7, 2018 at 9:28pm

Sadly, there is no one in the family that I can talk to. At first it was that I was living in my mom's house. I left there to create some kind of harmony. That didn't work. They are happy alright. They have money coming. But there is somethings else. My mom and I were extremely close, and that just increased ten fold when I became her caretaker. 

If there is a bright side in this (there's not), sometimes I wonder if it's me. If I am the one who is wrong, but my extended family are backing me completely. Mom's sisters spoke with her every day until she died. It means the world to me that they are supporting me in this. That someone understands how much I loved my mom, and what it meant for me to be her caretaker. 

The sad reality is that my mom is gone and not coming back. If ever I wished that I could hug her it would be now. I'll go through this alone.

I will never forget, a couple of days after my mom died, one of my brothers called me. He said, "What do we get?" He then asked me what the biggest tv in the house was. And then he asked me which tv was the newest. He said, "I'm going to come up there and get one of them." My mom was reduced to a flat screen tv. Now she is reduced to the market value of a home. I don't understand. I will never understand. 

One day the Lord will come for us, I believe that, but until then there is a lot of cruelty and sadness that is attached to being here. I'm broken.

I still have one of mom's little dogs. Her life has changed son much. She use to have me, mom, and her sister. Now she spends too much time in her kennel while I am at work. She's older an incontinent. I just keep looking at her and saying, "I'm so sorry." I know what her life was like, and I know what mine was like. I just miss my mom.

Comment by BLUEBELL on February 7, 2018 at 12:46pm

I am so sorry you are going through this with your family. Is there at least one of them that is not bitter and is more enlightened than the others that you could talk to? I think it would have to be agreed to in advance that during the conversation, neither of you would be allowed to become defensive or argumentative.  Just a thought.....

Bluebell

Comment by Sherri on February 7, 2018 at 12:40pm

Brett I am sorry to hear all this has happened just know that you did took care of her and she knew that sometimes its the little things that matter more. It's hard when family don't see eye to eye I have one brother who stopped speaking to me and my mom many years ago. I tried to get him to see her but he didn't want to talk I told him I'd leave so he could see her but never came. I told her nothing because it broke my heart for her that he didn't care enough any more. When I did tell him the news I told him he's my brother I will always love you but I will never forget how he hurt her more so I get it. I just want you to know your mom loved you and sometimes family isn't all they seem to be. Big Hugs my friend.

Comment by Brett Bowman on February 7, 2018 at 10:31am

Douglas, I think you touched on something that really hit close to home. My mom was a daily part of my life. I can just close my eyes and see her and hear her. It's like I just saw her. It's like I could yell, "Mom", and she would say, "What?" That's what is so frustrating for me. It's like she's there but I know that she isn't. I want her to be there. It's hard for me to reconcile that she is not.

I realize that many others will not understand, but it kills me that my brothers and sister do not. I recently moved out of my mother's house to preserve family peace. There is no peace. I got an e-nail from my sister a few days ago. She told me that she hated our mother. She said that she was a horrible mother. I was more shocked than angry. Now I'm angry. She said that mother never loved her. My mom loved her more than anything. One of the last things my mom did before she died was to transfer a lot of money into my sister's account. There was no reason. She did it just because. About a week before my sister died, my sister came to visit. She fell down our stairs while bringing up some luggage. She went to the emergency room. She wasn't hurt badly. She just needed some stitches. It was late. I could not get my mom to go to sleep until she knew my sister was okay. Mom stayed up until three in the morning waiting for her to get home. She called my sister on her cell phone every few minutes. My mother was dying. She didn't care. She was just worried about he daughter. And my sister hates her now because I am supposedly her favorite. My mom loved us all.

Now that we are selling the house, they are having group e-mails and telephone calls. I am not included in any of it. I don't even get a response when I write to ask them a question. They can come together over selling a house, but they could not come together for my mom when she needed them the most. Now they are all fast friends. These were three people who didn't even speak to each other. Now they are together because of a common enemy. Me.

My mom loved all of us with all of her heart. They have banded together against my mom and me. For all their talk of despising my mom, they don't mind taking her money.

They do not understand that mom and I became so close because I was her caretaker. They will never understand.

Comment by Theresa on February 7, 2018 at 5:31am

Sherri that is very nice and true, it has been two years for my mom, nothing has changed I miss her just the same.
Douglas, I am without both parents also.
And no they do not get it, that's because they have not gone through what we have.
Karma my friend

Comment by Douglas on February 7, 2018 at 4:22am

This all.

Comment by Douglas on February 7, 2018 at 4:21am

Not that I WANT to escape it! But all those years ago it seemed like they would always be there! I just can't believe they are gone! Life is so lonely without them and so completely different to those very happy days when they were here! My memories of those years are SO VIVID!  I remember them all as if it were yesterday. I am SO DEPRESSED! I cry so much and wake up and think about them and can't believe thisall happened. I knew it would someday, but not so soon and not like this!

Please help!

Comment by Douglas on February 7, 2018 at 4:17am

I feel that very few GET it! How can they when she was my BEST FRIEND of my entire life from DAY 1?! There are SO many times when I need to ask my Mom (and my Dad) their advice on day-to-day things that I KNOW they would help me with. Not just that, but them not being here. There is no escaping the love,  parenting, guidance, and everything they gave me. In addition to the memories and past times, which are gone forever. I MISS THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

 

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