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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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My Mom's Journey. 2 Replies

Started by Jennifer. Last reply by Theresa Mar 12.

Fired my grief therapist 4 Replies

Started by HelenB. Last reply by BLUEBELL Mar 4.

Participate in research to help grieving children 4 Replies

Started by Veronica. Last reply by Veronica Jan 18.

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Comment by Nancy Dynes on February 22, 2017 at 12:15am
Hi, Olive.
Theresa and I have been going through the same thing. It's almost 2 years since I lost my sweet mom. It sounds like our moms were very much alike. I still cry privately each day. I have an underlying sadness during even the happiest occasions that I believe is a permanent part of me since the loss of my treasured mother. I spend time with loved ones and friends. I participate fully in life and keep a smile on my face for the world to see. The only people who know of my deep sadness are my husband, my counselor, and y'all. Everyone has a different experience, but for me it's not easier. The grief is different in it's nature because two years have passed. It's like a chronic condition verses an acute one. I can eat normally again, I rarely cry randomly in public anymore, I can sleep better, I don't feel guilty about having fun or laughing anymore. Things like that are easier, but I still deeply yearn for my mom, miss her every moment of the day, and want to talk to her all the time. I carry her and the love we shared close to my heart and keep her alive with my memories of her. You only just lost your own dear mom, so you're in what I would call the acute stage. For me it was the worst of times and there was no help for it except to take it day by day, hour by hour, and feel the pain. I firmly believe in counseling. I need someone experienced and empathetic but not close to the situation to help me through this. I went every week for a couple of months and gradually decreased to once a month. I'll probably go forever. But that's just me so it might not be your thing. I am sending up prayers for you, Olive.
Hugs,
Nancy
Comment by BLUEBELL on February 21, 2017 at 5:23pm

Thank you Nancy for commenting and your reassurance.

To Misty and Olive-Hello. I wish we were not a part of group. But we are. For myself, it is not taking away the pain of her loss, but it is helping me feel not so alone. I have family, but it hard to talk to them openly. Because I am the baby of the family, they want to take care of me. I do not want to be taken care of. I just want for us to share our grief and support each other.

Comment by Misty on February 21, 2017 at 5:09pm
I lost my Mom 2 years ago April 12, 2015. December 4 of 2014 I lost my brother who was only 2 years younger than me. Last week I had 2 breast biopsys and I really needed my Mom. I keep thinking it will get easier until something happens. I didn't know what to tell my Dad. I'm thankful my results were great no cancer but I wanted to share my anxiety and then relief with my Mom. I don't think it ever gets easier.
Comment by Olive on February 21, 2017 at 4:57pm

Hi all, I posted awhile back.  I lost my dear mom on December 23 and the pain I feel is sometimes excruciating.  She was my best friend and a beautiful, generous, thoughtful mom.  I miss her so very much.  Does this ever get easier?

Comment by Nancy Dynes on February 21, 2017 at 4:44pm
Bluebell,
From what I understand it is absolutely normal. Two years later I still cry daily. The numbness protects your wounded heart and soul for short periods (in my experience).
Comment by BLUEBELL on February 21, 2017 at 4:37pm

My Mom passed away on Valentines Day. I have been crying daily except for today. Right now I feel numb and tired. Is this normal?

Bluebell

Comment by Nancy Dynes on February 21, 2017 at 4:03pm
Has anyone found particular activities that are therapeutic or bring you joy during your grief? I'm an artist, so even though I may be crying as I create, I find this outlet a true blessing. I also started feeding birds in my back garden, just outside my studio windows. I don't know why, but watching the beautiful, gentle songbirds (and even the squirrels) really lifts my spirits in a way nothing else does.
Comment by Nancy Dynes on February 21, 2017 at 3:54pm
Theresa,
It will be two years in April since my mom went to heaven. I miss her just as much as the day she passed away. At times it feels almost unacceptable that she is isn't coming back. At this point I can do everything I need to do to get through the day, though I still cry privately about once a day. I can be with my family, go out with friends, travel, laugh, etc... However, I don't look forward to things in the same way I used to and beneath everything is always this permanent underlying sadness. I often bring my mom up in conversation, recalling happy times spent with her or talking about how wonderful she was. I've never seen any of my friends doing this in regards to their parents who have passed on, so I thought there must be something wrong with me. My counselor says this a method of keeping her memory alive and is a healthy way to grieve. She also told me that people like us (the ones who grieve so deeply we seek out resources like this group) were blessed with a very special, close relationship with our mothers that not everyone has. So in a way, our grief is a manifestation of the blessing we had with them when they were alive. I think about my mom throughout every single day. How can we not? How can we ever stop missing our beloved mothers who hold a space in our heart nobody else can fill? I suppose I don't want to stop missing my mom or feeling that familiar pain when I wake up each and realize all over again that she's moved on. To not feel it would be like she was truly gone in every sense of the word. I never want her to be gone. If people don't want to hear me talk about her, well, that's just too bad. I don't know if any of this makes any sense or is helpful at all, but I have similar feelings and your post stood out to me. Prayers going up for you!
Comment by Danny on February 17, 2017 at 10:22am

Theresa the pain may lessen but do work on the continuing bond with the parent, talk to your Mom and then you will feel better. Friends are not the right people.

Comment by Danny on February 17, 2017 at 10:20am

Casey i remember you. I dont talk about it with many people. Do my own grief work and talk to those who have actually been through a shock etc. Be well

 

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BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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From the Heart

What does success in coping with death mean to you? Does it mean you can now walk your dog through the neighborhood and actually look up and smile as people go by?  Does it mean you went and bought flowers for the oak barrel that has been neglected for the past year? Does it mean you made chocolate chip cookies for the first time in God knows how long?  Or did you just go for a ride without crying or talk to your kids about something stupid and inconsequential?      There are no secret answers…See More
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