Hello everyone.  I am new to this community. 

In May of 2018, I lost my Dad after a very brief illness.  I loved my Dad but we were not real close.  18 months later in November of 2019, I lost my Mom.  She and I were very close.  She even lived with us after Dad passed away.  I had a half brother who I did not see more than 10 times my whole life who passed away in 2000, so I am really an only child.  I so miss my Momma very much.  She was my rock.  Even if I did not see her every day as an adult, we talked on the phone every single day.  Not a day went by where I did not talk to her at least once in a day.  My body hurts so bad missing her hugs.  I know these feelings will get better but it is just so hard right now.  It has only been 8 months but I still get mad at myself for still feeling this way.

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Hi Lucinda,

I lost my mother fourteen weeks ago this past Friday, and I only buried her on July 17th because of the pandemic.

It still hurts.

My mother died from vascular dementia, it was a battle that took the last five years of her life. When I am between deep sleep and waking, I still see the look of horror in her eyes as she realised something was wrong but just could not say it.

It is hard, there are no two ways about it.

My heart and thoughts are with you.

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