My mom died when I stepped out of the room and it hurts really bad!!!!#

My mom passed away without me and I am very depressed over it. Her cancer spread so quick and she was given days not if hours. My dad and sisters were there at the hospital as well. My sisters never were close to my mom often my mom would cry to me because none of them would bother with her. They never would come over or even talk to her. I don't even understand why because she was beautiful inside out. The thing that bothers me the most is I relieved my dad so he could go home and take a shower. It was just me and my mom. I called my sisters and told them to hurry up and get to the hospital. For 8 hours I held my mom's hand and kept on telling her I loved her so much. She took off her oxygen tube she didnt want it on anymore. When my sisters finally showed up I went downstairs and my sister called and said my mom died. I hate I wasn't there. I always have been there for my mom. It makes me sad. Why didnt she say goodbye?

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First of all let me say that I am so deeply sorry for your loss... Next let me tell you that she was waiting until you left to let go. It sounds as if you guys were very close and she might have been trying to hold on for you and once you left she was able to also. We don't know why things happen the way they do, but trust me when I say that was her way of saying goodbye ... Often the closest relationships- in death happen just like that- it shows how much she loved you in that she didn't want to die with you there. ❤️ You are in my thoughts and prayers ❤️
Thanks Rebecca for your kind words and yes my mom was my world. I actually take care of my mom's mom who is 98 yrs old and lives in Long Island. I visited my mom often and talked to her everyday. I drove 8 hours to her and when I got there it was hard to be one on one with her because everyone was there but the next day it so happened to be everyone was in the middle of something. I think it was meant to be that her time at the end was meant for me and my mom. Through whatever she went through in life I was there for her. I prayed to God for his understanding not mine. I didnt want her to suffer alone. She probaly didnt want me to see her go, but she lives on in my soul! God bless my beautiful mother. I pray that everyone who has beef with their moms to please make amends and love one another because one day your mother will pass on too and trust me my sisters have to face that guilt everyday.

I am so sorry for your loss. My Mom just died as well. I just wanted to say, you were there for your Mom. You were there all the while. You could not control the very moment she passed, but you were there,  and  you comforted her and told her how much you loved her. She knew that you loved her. 

Thank you Sue, there is no doubt that she loved me because we always had a special bond!!! I guess it is not so much that I wanted to see her go with my own to eyes. It is that I wanted her to be by her side when she exited this world like she was always there for me. Sue I am so sorry about your mom. God bless her soul! Your mom will always be with you always!!!!

Thanks Jessica, yours will be with you too. 

Its been 2 months since I lost my precious mother and best friend. Ive never been so lost. The silence is defeaning. NOTHING is helping my grief. Ive been througfh hell and back in my life with tons of counsilling and i can honestly say that this is the worst pain ive ever felt and nothing anything will ever heal. Im sorry im such a downer about it. but my will to live is absolutley gone as i was her caretaker for the past year. She went down so fast and was so young. Feeling sorry for myself is not something i typically do but as an only child i predicted i wouldnt do well if i lost her. Im desperate and people say give it time. Time just gets worse. Everyday without her is more painful. Celebrating her life is easy. My Physical pain from my disease makes my will to live even less bearable. I pray for all of you who suffer losses. Its a heartbreak that Ive never felt until now. i guess at 45 im pretty lucky to get this far without losing someone besides my Grandmother but my mothers death has been the worst tragedy. Talk therapy doesnt seem to be helping.

Reading your stories hits so close to home. Firstly when my mom was in her last days (suffered a horrible stroke) I was with her around the clock. For 48 hours I didn't leave her side in the hospital. I left Saturday morning to go home and take a shower and she died 20 minutes after I left. I really believe she couldn't let go while I was there. She was too young to die (61). She was my rock, my biggest fan and had unconditional love for me. She was my best friend and we talked everyday, sometimes two or three times a day and I miss her still so bad. It's been almost 2 years and all I can say is the first year was the absolute worst year of my entire life. My children were my only will to live... I had no desire to get out of bed, I gained 30 lbs and was so sad and depressed all the time. My marriage suffered and my work did too. All I wanted was for someone to tell me when I would feel better. I needed to know there was a glimmer of light at the end of a very dark tunnel. The doctor told me 8 months, my dad told me about 10 months, others said it would be a year. I was obsessed with knowing when I would feel like living again. After each one of those timelines passed and I didn't feel even slightly better, I started to think there was no hope for me. But let me tell you... I finally do feel better now... it took about a year and a half for me but I don't cry every single day like I used to. I do still cry once in a while and still miss her so much but I smile now too when I think of her. It's so hard to believe it while going through it but time did help me accept my new normal. The amount of time is probably different for everyone.
Hugs and prayers to you all.

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