My dad died in January, after at least 12 years with Alzheimer's. I took care of him at home the entire time, until he fell, was in terrible pain, and suddenly it seemed died. I'm still in the house we shared, and sometimes it's very difficult to be here. This is one of those days when I have no plans, it's grey, wet and cold out, and I don't know what I'll do. The house needs cleaning, stuff needs to be given away or organized, but so much of the time I'm too depressed/grief stricken to do anything. My plan is to stay in the house & fix it up (many years of deferred maintenance), but I have to buy my brother out first, and he's being a pill. He owes the estate a lot of money, and instead of owning up to it, is calling me names and threatening to sue. I am the trustee of the trust & executor of dad's estate, and my brother doesn't like the apparent control and power I have I'm sure.

After spending so many years cooped up here with dad, I'm finally going on a vacation. Thanks to hospice, I used to get 5 day/night breaks, but could never go far. I'm headed to Hawaii and meeting my cousin and her husband there. I'm anxious about it, because I haven't been far from my house in years! Trying to calm myself, looking at websites for activities, restaurants, etc. I have a lot of food allergies, and I know my cousin doesn't want to cook. I know I'll be OK, but I tend to have a lot of anxiety. I do have a hospice counselor who still comes to talk, and Monday I'll see a counselor from my medical insurance again. There are times I wish I had someone to see every day who understands grief. Some people think I should just be happy with my new freedom and get on with whatever my new life brings, and I wish I could.

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Replies to This Discussion

We have similar situations in regards to your story.  As far as people saying you have this new freedom and you saying you were cooped up in the same house with him is something that never came to mind.  With your grieving, there is no set way to grieve or time frame.  I tell peol off who never truly grieved.

  I too had a tough time with my dad before he passed away this past year.  As far as for freedom, I would give anything to have him still here no matter how difficult it may have been over freedom any day.  Nothing can ever replace that void.  You are right Michael.  If you have never truly grieved you will never understand.

sorrry on yore losss 

my dad died in 2012 byt my mom her ber bth got dem/alz but her brh got it wors mom he duz he dnt no 1 no mor mom asks for dead lovd 1s 2 go sea her wen i iv bean 2 sea but coz of  ld iv not bean alod 2 sea her

but tryn not 2 cry wen she asks wear dad is iv lidd sayin his bizzy he be hear latr 

juts try 2 rak 1 day it a tim u need 2 dnt elt let no 1 try 2 frios u 2 do thngs yet coz i did deep don its up 2 u nt not thm


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