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Comment by Crystal M on July 18, 2011 at 10:49pm

Chaille,

First of all I want to say that I am so sorry that you have to go through something like this, especially when this is supposed to be one of the happiest times in your life. I am also sorry if what I say after this point offends you in any way. What happened is NOT your fault in any way. In my opinion, you and your baby are the victims of what happened. It sounds like he made a rash decision, and did not think anything through. It is not fair to you or your child, and for his family to blame you in any way is nonsense. The most important thing for you to do is to not blame yourself or your child. The baby that you are carrying is innocent and depends on you to take care of yourself and her/him. I wish the best for you and your baby, and I hope that he/she never feels like it was his/her fault for what happened. If you need to talk, I am here.

Comment by anne miller on June 5, 2011 at 3:57pm

My name is annie im 23 my fiancée passed away of a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head after three weeks in a coma, my 2 children and myself where home when he did it. he was very depressed and drank alot to help with that, he had always mentioned things about killing himself but i guess i never thought he would really do ithe was only 27 years old he would be 28 on the 27th of this month, he passed away april 12th of this year. I know its all still fresh not even being 2 months yet, I cant help but feel like it is getting harder to deal with and all the unanswered questions. I havent had any closer with a funeral or anything since his family placed all the blame on me saying I should have seen this coming and been able to stop it. I know i could never have stoped him and it wasnt my fault but i still just dont understand. This is a very hush hush thing with my family and none of my friends understand so i never get to talk about this or how i handle it, so if my postes are long im sorry. I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on what to do to help to help with this feeling of being stuck in place and feeling guilty about continuing my life with out him like going out with friends or anything to have a good time. thanks

Comment by David A on June 4, 2011 at 7:39am

My beloved common law wife of over 16 years committed suicide on April 20th, 2011.  I was 1800 miles away when it happened and took 3 days to drive my truck back from California.  While I cannot tell you the specific reason she killed herself, I can tell you she tried many times over the course of our relationship because she suffered from a disease called Huntington's. She watched her father die from the same disease and said many times she would not let the disease ravage her body and mind the way it did her fathers. In the end she was tired of the daily pain this disease brought her and her symptoms were getting worse.  I did not want her to go and I am now a lonely person because of it.

Comment by Sean Casey on February 15, 2011 at 11:19am

My wife killed herself in a hotel room at some point in the beginning of February.  The police came and told me the news on February 4th.  All she'd told me was that she was going to go away to sort some things out, which she'd done once before.  I'd known she was depressed and upset about some of her circumstances, but I didn't know she'd decided to kill herself, or that she'd been looking into  it seriously for the last two years.  I think what's hardest right now is the plethora of questions that'll likely never get answered.

Comment by Crystal M on August 14, 2010 at 4:36pm

My cousin shot his ex girlfriend and killed her, then killed himself. We still don't know what happened, or why he did it. It has been almost 3 years, and I just now stopped being mad at him. I feel so bad for his ex's family, and I have wanted to contact them since it happened, but I don't know what to say. They were mad at us at first, which I expected. Her mom isn't even mad at him anymore, but still mourns for her daughter. I gave them a card when it first happened, but I feel like I need to say something. I loved her, and I worked with her brother and sister for a while, so I feel like I have neglected them. I miss my cousin so much. He was always the life of the party. He made everyone laugh, and I didn't know he was depressed until a few months before he did what he did. I wish that I would have talked to him about it. I know that I couldn't have changed anything, but I wonder if even just a few words would have helped him. What hurts the most is that we don't know if he planned it, or if it just happened. I wish I could hug him one more time, and I wish that she didn't get hurt. I wish that her family still had her. I also worry that he will be in hell for eternity. I know that he will, so that means that I will never see him again. I wish that he would have talked to us, so that we could help him get better.

Comment by Dani Moses on July 6, 2010 at 10:05am

The one year anniversary of my mom's death is coming up this Sunday and it's really hitting me hard. I have so many regrets. I try not to play the what-if game but it's so easy to get sucked into at times. I joined the group hoping to find some comfort. No one can truly understand how bad it hurts and leaves you confused, angry, guilty, and so many other emotions when you've lost someone to suicide unless you've been there. No one around me understands and I really hate feeling so alone.

Comment by Lilly pizer on April 27, 2010 at 7:01pm

i'm very sorry for your loss, Dana, its the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with myself. Even though its been many years it still hurts deeply. We are here for you, its great having people to sound off too! I wish I had joined sooner.

Comment by Dana Allen on April 26, 2010 at 5:40pm

My husband committed suicide on 09/24/09 and I'm just looking for somewhere to sound off and get others views. How they coped with the loss? I'm a strong Christian and God is carrying me, but there are so many unanswered questions with suicide.

Comment by krr on April 24, 2010 at 10:15am

Lilly,
Everything you say is correct, and I feel the same way right now we are lost and in a lonely house. What helps me take my mind off of it is to focus on raising my daughter. She graduates HS in 2-months. Sometimes we can only deal with this a minute at a time. We also find ourselves referring to mom, and the way she did things.

Comment by Lilly pizer on April 24, 2010 at 6:43am

kevin...I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better, there really are no words that can uplift your soul. At least thats how I felt when my husband died 11 years ago but I hope it helps to know that people care. Hang on to your daughter, I'm glad you have each other, my daughter basically saved my life, she gave me a purpose, a reason to get up every day. I dont know what would have happened if i didn't have her. When my husband died, I had a fear that I would forget things about him, at first I tried to write them down in a jounal, but then I decided I would just talk about him whenever a thought came up I would just say it out loud, "Oh you dad's favorite vegetable was corn", "When you sit like that you remind me so much of your dad", it probably made other people wonder when is she going to stop talking about him, but I wanted my daughter to know who he was and what he was like and I didn't want to forget. I don't know when the time is right, I don't know if the pain is too unbearable now or if now would be a good time to start, but that really helped me keep him alive in my heart and mind. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

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