Hello.  I'm new to this site as of today, and I'm struggling more than ever.  My husband passed away to suicide on 10/28/12.  We were married for 5 years.  The holidays are very difficult, but everyday life is becoming more challenging.  I have a paralyzing feeling every morning when I wake up, and have lost every ounce of motivation that I once had.  I've also isolated myself from everyone because I just feel like I want to be alone.  Nothing that I have tried to do to help me cope has worked.  I'm a 31 year old widow who sees no positive in life any longer.  Help.

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Lyndsey, my heart goes out to you. I lost my boyfriend of 3 years to suicide in Feb 2011. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I cannot know what you are going through, having lost your husband of 5 years, but I can imagine.

Have you tried a support group for those who have lost a loved one to suicide? I do not know if there is one near to you, but you can search by zipcode here

http://www.afsp.org/coping-with-suicide/find-support/find-a-support...

I found such a group helpful. I also isolated myself, but I found being with others with a similar loss in person helped. Not many people know what to say to someone who has lost a loved one, let alone one lost by suicide.

I found this book helpful - Understanding Your Suicide Loss by Alan Wolfelt, PhD

I am glad you found this site and reached out. You are not alone.

Sandy

Thank you so much Sandy.  God Bless You.

Lyndsey, How are you doing?

Lyndsey,

Sorry for your loss.  My wife recently passed away and tomorrow will be 3 months since.  The pain is indescribable.  I wish we as humans never have to go through such pains.  I want to isolate myself from others as well.  I am so tired.  I can't sleep and refuse to eat.  I missed my wife so much.  She was turning 24.  I am no longer the motivated person just like you are, I've lost all motivation in life.  I cry every morning before work and cry every night before bed.  Last night I've cried and woke up and realized, my tears have been crystalized.

I wish I can help you.  I wish someone can also help me, but I know no one can.  Life is not the same and will never be the same.  Sorry if I sound depressed as today is very depressing for me.

Hollowed,

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Worst Documented Day of my life

On the 1st of July 2020, I watched my life take her last breath. My life was and in many ways still is about my mother. I have never felt more lost and empty than I do now since she left. Fast forward to the 4th of October and I attempted suicide. I was unsuccessful unfortunately. I still don't want to be here but I'm forcing myself to live because I mean I wake up everyday so clearly God isn't ready to accept me into his kingdom.Until then nothing about life feels okay. I really miss my mom.
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